Fading Away
by Pretty in Pain
Summary: After a traumatic past in Las Vegas, Bella is adopted by a single father in Forks. With a new start, things start to finally look up for her. However, when she realizes Edward is linked to her dark past in Vegas, her new life is torn apart. AH.
1. Chapter 1

**Bella **

I inhaled my cigarette while contemplating what would be so wonderful about turning seventeen if being sixteen was anything but sweet. Not to mention fifteen– and I couldn't even think about being fourteen or thirteen without cringing.

_Fuck being a teenager__._

It was more overrated than anyone portrayed it to be. But I guess that could happen when you've spent most of your teenage years wasting away in a group home for girls with "behavioral problems." Living with all females for that long was way too much estrogen for me– or anyone else– to be content with.

Somehow I managed to make enough progress in the home to get adopted by a single father named Charlie. As I took another drag from my cigarette, I was hoping the plane ride from Las Vegas to Forks, Washington wouldn't be too bad. It was my birthday after all, and I did _not_ want it to get fucked up by being smooshed up against the plane window by a drunken tourist or an immensely overweight turd. With my luck, however, I'd be smooshed in between a drunk-ass tourist and an overweight turd holding a screaming baby.

I killed my cigarette in the ashtray located in the smoking/gambling section of the airport and made my way to a seat by my flight number. I absent-mindedly fidgeted with one of the intentional gashes in my jeans. Suddenly feeling self-conscious, I wondered what Charlie would think of me. Maybe my style was too alternative for him and he'd make me go on some ungodly shopping spree for girly clothes. I sure hoped that wouldn't be the case. After all, I was only a year away from legal adulthood; which implied to me that I was perfectly capable of making my own decisions about attire.

It was clear that the anticipation was getting to me, and anxiety was starting to take over my mind. At times, I could fight my anxiety enough to appear stable. Other times, such as these, my instability could be seen clearly to anyone who cared enough to notice. My stress-ridden thoughts went to Renee, and my face contorted into a painful expression.

Renee was my mother, though the term "mother" was giving her too much credit. I suppose she did mean well, but meaning well and doing well were obviously quite different. And different things produce different outcomes. In this case, the outcome was me.

I never knew the fabulous man who knocked my mother up, but I suspect it might have been just as much of a mystery to Renee. A diet of prescription pain medication and alcohol made her memory and her choices a little foggy. The first father figure in my life was Phil.

Even though I never had anyone to compare him to, Phil wasn't half bad. He arrived in my life when I was four, and he took care of me more than my mother did. We moved in his three bedroom home in Las Vegas, and we were sort of like a family. I was happy. We always had food on the table, and Renee's infatuation with Phil lessened her urges to drink so much. She still took the pills because she would suffer violent withdrawals without them. Other than that, it was clear to me that she was better than she used to be.

It didn't last.

After a few years of contentment, Phil lost his job and had to go on unemployment. The city's opportunities were grim, and it led him to turn to the bottle. Before long, he was drinking so much that he gambled away all the money we had, and we lost the house.

I was ten when we had to move into a shitty one-bedroom apartment in North Las Vegas, which wasn't exactly the best part of town. To be honest, it was fucking ghetto. I was afraid to go outside, and I was afraid to be inside. To make matters worse, Phil's alcohol problem made Renee start drinking again. The two of them were belligerent drunks, and it was a dismal situation.

I suffered for exactly three years because of those pricks. Phil and Renee were always yelling at each other and at me. I don't think they even knew what they were yelling about. When yelling wasn't enough, it became physical. They would beat each other senseless, and when they grew tired of that, they started to hit me.

It started small, but it got worse. Phil gave me a black eye on one occasion. It could not be hidden with makeup because my eye was swollen shut. He told me he'd slit my throat if I ever told anybody, but other people started noticing on their own. I tried to tell them it was from my own clumsiness (which wouldn't be a far-fetched story in my case), but they knew better.

My neighbors were quick to inform authorities that Renee and Phil were unfit parents. They lost custody of me, and I lived with my aunt for a while. She was a good person, but I wasn't happy living with her. Even looking at her reminded me of my mother, so I did anything I could to make her life a living hell. As fucked up as it sounded, I just wanted someone to feel the pain that I had gone through. She couldn't handle it, and that's when I ended up in the group home.

My thoughts were interrupted by a woman announcing that my flight was now boarding. I hadn't even noticed the plane had arrived, and I didn't even realize the previous passengers had exited it.

It was time for me to board the plane and start my new life. I took a deep breath, got in line, and braced myself for the worst.

**Edward **

I took a long swig from my bottle of Absolut, slightly cringing from the taste. Though I was usually one to utilize chasers, I was plastered enough not to need one. I had a theory as to why my favorite vodka was called Absolut– the feeling of that vodka in my system was absolutely fucking amazing.

The theme song for _Intervention_ reverberated throughout the room on my father's glorious surround sound. Being plastered while watching that show was priceless.

"People can drink with just one kidney, so I don't see why I can't drink with one and a third," said the female alcoholic on the show. I laughed so hard I could have pissed my fucking pants.

I heard my mother, Esme, and sister, Alice, in the other room. They were bickering about the most sensible way to store the ornaments from our tree. Christmas had recently passed, and they were putting away the elaborate decorations that had overflowed our house. Alice was in charge of that kind of stuff. I had to give it to her: she was great at themes and decorations. She fucking rocked at throwing the occasional house party when our parents were out of town. Even though she didn't drink, everyone always had fun when she put it together.

"Look Alice, you can fit more ornaments in this way!" Esme said.

"Mom, they are not going in the box when they aren't color coordinated! That's just ridiculous!" Alice pouted.

I heard Esme sigh. She knew there really wasn't any use in arguing with Alice about decorations.

Alice basically danced into the living room I was in, and she crinkled her nose. "What the hell are you drinking?" she asked.

I poured some of my vodka in a shot glass and tried to hand it to her.

"That's disgusting!" Alice cried as her usually graceful face contorted in a hilariously gross expression.

"Actually, it would be even more disgusting if your face got stuck like that," I spat back. I hated when my family gave me shit for drinking.

The colorful lights were still hung in the living room, and they slightly lit her short, black hair. I would miss the way the lights made a fuzzy glow when I was shit faced. In fact, I'd miss a lot about drinking. It was impacting my life, but making my family upset was what really crawled under my skin. Carlisle, my father, would always tell me how drinking both physically and mentally impacted one's life for the worst. He would tell me horror stories of treating people with alcohol poisoning. He knew that since I was only seventeen, I wouldn't be worried about cirrhosis; but it didn't stop him from telling me it could be my fate someday.

I knew that he was both a doctor and my parent, so I couldn't blame him too much for all the preaching. However, he was the one that had the constantly-stocked liquor cabinet. Lots of people my age would be drinking if they had such easy access to alcohol. I think.

To make my family happy, I was going to try damn hard to quit drinking. I think the hardest part would be turning my neighbor down when he wanted to get hammered. His name was Emmett, and he was like a brother to me. I'd known him ever since I was young and my family moved to Forks. He was married to this blonde, bitchy, nagging woman named Rosalie. He liked to drink with me when she was acting up . . . which was often. It got his mind off things for a while, and I enjoyed his company.

I suddenly imagined Emmett and I walking in a room full of our family. The interventionist gave us a welcoming smile, and everyone could read the "oh shit" looks on our faces. I'd be damned if I ever ended up on my favorite show, on the butt end of a secret intervention.

"Edward," Esme would say, her eyes full to the brim with tears. "Your drinking has negatively impacted my life in the following ways . . ."

I would roll my eyes and deny having a problem, telling them all I could stop drinking any day.

Carlisle would talk about drinking affecting my medical health, as usual.

Alice would cry and tell me she loved me. She would say she couldn't stand losing me to alcohol. "Jasper is basically dead to us in the position he's in," she would say, "And I can't lose the only brother I have left."

Rosalie would tell Emmett their relationship would be over if he did not go directly to treatment. Her perfect red pout would look menacing, and he would realize she was serious.

Emmett and I would look at each other, shrug, and get the fuck out of there.

The imagined intervention faded away. I wondered what kind of look I had on my face, but it must have been fucking weird. Alice was still in the room, and she looked at me with a quizzical expression.

"I hope you feel like shit at school tomorrow," she said.

"Who says I'm going to school tomorrow?" I replied, pouring another shot of Absolut for myself.

"Edward, you can't just miss school every time you drink on a school night!" she hissed. As small as she was, she could appear to be menacing when she was upset.

"You and I both know I have a perfect GPA. What the fuck would I be missing anyway?" I took the shot I poured for myself. Alice crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, giving in.

"Suit yourself," she said, disappearing from the room.

Nothing _ever_ happened at school, good or bad. Staying at home hung over would be a perfect excuse to avoid that shit hole. I sighed, letting the vodka lull me into a dreamless night on the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Alright, chapter 2 is here already! Thanks for stopping by to read my story; it truly means the world to me. Reviews would be great. I'm going to get chapter 3 up as soon as I can. It shouldn't be long.

All credit goes to the lovely Stephanie Meyer, of course.

**Bella**

It was incredibly late, and I wasn't home yet. I knew my aunt would be worried about me. I steadied my pace, hoping it would get me home sooner. This street looked so familiar. The ominous clouds over the moon, the songs of the crickets, the twisted trees that seemed to reach toward me with their branches, even the dark houses on the street. I felt déjà vu, and it tied my stomach in knots.

My heart jumped when I heard a deep voice behind me.

"What are you doing out so late, beautiful?" A tall, blond man seemed to appear from nowhere. He had a slight southern accent and a smirk on his face. My heart was pounding in my chest.

"Going home," I said in a weak voice. I wished my voice could be strong, confident. A voice that would tell him to not fuck with me unless he wanted his sack chopped off and shoved down his throat.

"Why don't I walk you home? I'd hate for anything bad to happen to someone so pretty." He grinned, and my heart must have been completely audible to him at that point.

"Um, no thanks," I said in the weak voice I willed to strengthen.

"Come on babe," he cooed. It was sickening. He was a sick person. I was in danger. I needed to get out of this.

"No," I said, still trying to strengthen the weakness in my voice without success.

He stood silent for a moment, thinking about what he was going to say. "Maybe we should start over," he said. "Allow me to introduce myself." He held his hand out to attempt to shake mine.

"Look, I need to get home," I said. I was petrified, but I was also getting annoyed. Who the fuck did he think he was? I was clearly a thirteen-year-old girl, and he quite obviously much older.

This angered him. It didn't seem like he was used to rejection.

"I just want to fucking walk you home," he said. His cocky, relaxed demeanor quickly changed to pure aggravation. He stepped toward me slowly, and I stepped back.

"Please, just go away." I begged. He must have seen the fear in my eyes, so it didn't make sense for him to be smiling like he was.

This was going to be my last chance. This man was going to hurt me. Walking me home was the last thing on his twisted motherfucking mind. I needed to run. Why were my legs turning to Jell-o when I needed them most?

Before I could will my legs to move, I was dragged into an abandoned backyard. He was on top of me, holding my mouth and my body. I was trying to struggle, to get away from this nightmare and be safe at home. But I was just as weak as my voice. I was useless. My mind was screaming at me to try harder, but my body was weak. I was nothing.

It seemed like he was inside me for hours before he finished. The pain was excruciating. Every thrust was torture. It brought tears to my eyes as I let out a muffled whimper, which was drowned out by his humongous hand. He told me to shut the fuck up whenever I made a peep, but the pain was too unendurable to be silent. I looked in his blue, greedy eyes and noticed how insatiable they were. I realized he had done this before. I was just another nameless victim.

I couldn't believe that was how I lost my virginity. I closed my eyes and willed myself to fade away.

I woke up screaming. It took my eyes a minute to adjust to the dark room I was in, but I still did not recognize it. Everything was faintly lit by the moon. There was purple everywhere, including on the blanket surrounding me. An ancient computer sat atop a desk by the window. There was a homemade banner across the wall that read, "Welcome Home!" Welcome home? Of course! I was at Charlie's house. This was my new room.

I heard a knock at my room door. "Bella?"

"Come in," I said groggily, running my hand through my hair.

Charlie opened the door. He looked awkward, like he was out of his element. Of course, never having kids and adopting a seventeen-year-old girl would certainly justify that.

"I heard you screaming," he said.

"I'm fine," I lied. "I had a bad dream. I'm probably just a little nervous to start school tomorrow."

I looked out the window, realizing it was raining again. It had been raining ever since my plane landed in Forks. It was a big adjustment from the drought I was used to in Vegas. I went from living in dry and brown to green and wet. The sound of rain was relaxing, but being soaked in the rain wasn't so great. I made a mental note to invest in an umbrella.

"You'll be fine, kiddo," said Charlie. He was really trying hard to be a good father figure to me, and it made me happy.

"You're right. Thanks, Charlie," I smiled at him.

He cleared his throat. "Well, you should probably get some rest."

I smiled at him. "Okay. I will."

He left the room, and I could hear him snoring down the hall within minutes. I knew I should get back to sleep, but there was no way I could endure another nightmare. Even though it happened four years ago, even though Jasper Cullen was rotting away in High Desert State Prison in Indian Springs, I was still _fucking haunted_ by that night.

**Edward**

I sped to school on Wednesday morning, running pretty fucking late. Being on time wasn't really a priority of mine, especially since I had Miss Cope wrapped around my finger. I always liked an excuse to drive fast, especially in my new silver Volvo. Esme and Carlisle gave it to me for my seventeenth birthday, and it was fucking fantastic.

I sped into the Forks High School parking lot. It was pouring again, and I was soaked by the time I made it to the front office. Miss Cope was captivated by a romance novel, and I cleared my throat to get her attention. She threw the book underneath her chair. She blushed a little, making her embarrassment evident.

"Mr. Cullen," she said. "How can I help you today?" Her curly, red hair was disheveled as she attempted to tame it with her hands. The fluorescent lights reflected in her glasses as she looked up at me.

"I am very sorry to trouble you for anything, but I had a little problem with my car this morning." I said politely and sincerely. I was a pro at lying to her.

"Oh dear!" she simply stated. She had genuine concern in her eyes.

"Nothing big, but–as you can tell– it made me late today. Is there any way I can get a late pass for gym?" I asked with pleading eyes.

"That won't be a problem. Let me just fill it out for you, dear." She scrambled through her papers to find a pink late pass, filling it out with a tacky red pen. It was _so_ easy to get her to do shit for me.

With my late pass in hand, I headed to the gym for Coach Clapp's P.E. class.

The day seemed to drag on incessantly slow. I must have looked at the clock every few seconds, willing the hands of the clock to go faster. They didn't. _Bastard clocks_.

Fourth period was Mr. Banner's biology class. I tried to no avail to get out of taking biology. All the medical knowledge I ever wanted to know could be obtained by my father, but the staff couldn't give me "special treatment" just because of what my father did for a living. _Fuckers._

I sat in the back row and zoned out. When we were five minutes into a discussion about chlorophyll, the door to the classroom opened. Mr. Varner looked annoyed. He hated being interrupted, as if what he were teaching was imperative to our knowledge.

A girl I'd never seen timidly shut the door behind her as her cheeks turned the most beautiful shade of scarlet. She was blushing for being late. How. Fucking. Adorable. Her petite body stumbled over to Mr. Varner, and she all but stuttered, "I'm sorry I'm late. I sort of . . . got lost." She handed him a slip with her class schedule on it.

"That's not a problem," he stated. What a dick. When Miss Pretty Brunette bounces in late, it's not a problem. When I'm late, I might as well have committed a fucking hate crime.

Mr. Varner looked at the slip for her name. "Isabella Swan?"

Her cheeks grew an impossible shade of red. I'd never seen anything like it.

"Bella," she corrected him.

"Okay–Bella it is. Please take a seat next to Edward. Edward, would you raise your hand for Miss Swan?"

Fuck yeah I would. I held my hand high in the air and gave her my best charming half-smile I could muster. She slowly walked down the aisle, almost tripping in the process, and sat next to me. I couldn't help but notice all the guys in the classroom staring at Bella as if she were some piece of fucking meat, and it pissed me off. Mike Newton was being anything but subtle. I was pretty sure I could see drool slide down his chin as he ogled at her. That was, until he met my gaze. I gave him a wonderful "look the fuck away unless you want to leave the school in a body bag" glare, and he looked away immediately. _Pussy._

"Hey Bella," I said confidently. "I'm Edward."

"Yeah, I noticed," she said, a smile forming at her lips. God, she was _perfect_. Her body, her face, her eyes, her hair, her skin; _everything_ about her was intoxicating. She looked at me with alluring brown eyes, and quickly looked away. How could someone so perfect be so shy?

"Well, it's very lovely to meet you Bella," I said, for lack of better words.

She smiled and looked up at Captain Chlorophyll. Maybe she just didn't want to talk in class. I waited patiently, and offered to walk her to her next class. To my delight, she accepted.

We walked through the pouring rain to her trigonometry class. I wondered if she was used to such weather.

"So what brings you to the rain capital of the country?" I asked, truly curious.

She bit her lip, probably debating on how she would answer. Maybe it was personal.

"Just . . . stuff." She said. Stuff? That's fucking mind-boggling.

"Okay. Do you mind me asking where you lived before you moved here?" I asked with a twinge of sarcasm in my voice.

"I lived in Vegas." She said, looking at the ground.

"You're shittin' me! Sin City? Do people really live in hotels there? Did _you_ live in a hotel?" I asked. My sarcasm was fully evident at this point.

She laughed. "Of course not," she said. "But I do have to get used to all this rain and greenery shit."

We got to her classroom, both sopping wet.

"I believe this is your stop. I will see you tomorrow, Bella," I said with a charming smile.

She smiled back. "Yeah, see you tomorrow," she replied. She almost tripped again as she entered her classroom, closing the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Happy 2010! I hope you all had a great time celebrating.

This chapter is going to be a little different because it's BPOV only. Don't worry though; Edward still has plenty to say. Reviews are love! Enjoy!

**Bella**

My room was eerily quiet despite the soft patter of the rain on the roof. I shut my eyes, taking in the events of the day. I wasn't expecting to get so much attention on my first day of school. I even chose an outfit that wouldn't stand out– a brown plaid jacket, denim jeans, and black Vans. It wasn't noteworthy in the least.

I was approached by a girl named Jessica in my first period Literature class. She had dark, curly hair and wore a tight pink shirt that purposefully showed off her cleavage. It almost seemed like she snorted a bunch of coke before class by the way she was acting, but I quickly caught on that she was naturally strung out on life. I'd never seen anything like it.

"Oh my god, you're the new girl!" she said loud enough for the entire class to hear.

I felt my cheeks grow hot. "Um, yeah," I said softly, hoping she would catch on to the volume of my voice and match it with hers. "I'm Bella."

"My name is Jessica!" she said, still loud. I wondered if everyone in Forks would be so annoying. "It's so awesome that we have a class together. Can I see your schedule?"

I handed her my class schedule I was given by the overweight woman in the front office–Miss Cope, I believe– and was relieved to find that the only other period I had with Jessica was lunch.

"I can't wait for you to meet my friends!" Jessica said, undeterred about having just one class together. _Neither can I_, I thought grimly.

She was interrupted by our teacher. "Is there something you would like to add, Miss Stanley?" he asked. He was balding, and had an awful comb over in a futile attempt to hide it.

"No, Mr. Mason," Jessica said, looking irritated. I was positive that it wasn't the first time she talked so loud in his class.

Lunch was after third period, which was earlier than I was accustomed to. Jessica flocked to me immediately with a huge smile on her face.

"Bella! Come meet my friends!" she said.

I followed her to a large table by the cafeteria window. There were several girls and guys already sitting there, and all of them were staring at me.

I met each of them, but I only remembered a couple. I decided I really liked Angela out of the group. She was soft-spoken, kind, and understanding. Her family had moved around a lot when she was younger, so she knew what it was like to be the new girl. Her smile was genuine, which was a relief in comparison to Jessica's cracked-out, bizarre smile.

Jessica wasn't half bad compared to Lauren, though. Lauren didn't say much of anything, and whatever did come out of her mouth was bitchy. She had long, blonde hair and lugged around an imitation Coach purse like it was a miniature child. I thought that maybe she was used to being the center of attention, and, to her, I had taken away her spotlight. Little did she know getting attention was the last thing on my priority list.

The last person I remembered was Mike. He was noticeably staring at me all through lunch, which made it incredibly awkward. He was blonde, had blue eyes, and his face seemed exceptionally childlike. It was as if his head didn't match his teenage body.

_What the hell was someone as sweet as Angela doing with these people? _I thought idly.

I was late to my fourth period biology class because I couldn't find the damn classroom. It was embarrassing. I wished my mortification wasn't completely evident with my fucking red cheeks, but blushing was my curse. My teacher informed me I would be sitting next to someone named Edward, so I looked up to see where my new seat was.

I couldn't even breathe when I saw Edward. I didn't know his last name, but that wasn't a big deal to me. His beauty was indescribable, like he was from another world intended for people too stunning for Earth. I would certainly not deserve to live in such a world. It should have been a sin to be that fucking handsome. His hand was in the air as he gave me the most perfect smile I'd seen in my entire existence. I tripped over my own feet while I walked down the aisle, cursing my clumsiness. _What a sexy first impression you're making for him_, I thought sarcastically.

To redeem myself, I took a seat next to Edward with as much grace as I could gather. Immediately after I sat down, he politely introduced himself. Like an idiot, I told him I noticed he was Edward. He let out a musical chuckle. Even his _laugh_ was irresistible. I seriously considered somehow not knowing I died and being in heaven, but reconsidered when I thought of where I'd really go if I were dead. It certainly wouldn't be around Edward.

As I glanced at his eyes, my heart skipped a beat. They were the most breathtaking shade of green surrounded by a subtle ring of gold, and they held indescribable depth. It was as if he had lived a century and was trapped in a teenager's body. I never thought someone could look so wise just by gazing in their eyes, but I never thought I'd meet someone so faultless either.

I wasn't certain about much in my short life, but I was absolutely certain that Edward was going to change it.

I slowly faded back to reality as I opened my eyes. I grabbed my cigarettes and some body spray, and I headed to the back porch for a smoke. Charlie didn't know I smoked, and I intended to keep it that way. I did not want to cause any conflict between us. It wouldn't be fair after all he'd done or me.

Charlie was picking up pizza for dinner, so I knew I had enough time for a cig. He didn't cook and insisted that I shouldn't have to cook every night. We either had takeout or went to his favorite restaurant every other night. I tried to tell him I enjoyed cooking, that I even planned to go to college to culinary arts; but he didn't accept it. I imagined that he might warm up to me with time, and wouldn't mind having me cook every night. Only time would tell.

I smoked my cigarette while I watched the rain make tiny splashes in our pool. It was nice to be dry on the porch while still getting to enjoy the rain. Even though it was probably going to get extremely old, the rain was a refreshing change to the scorching sun ninety nine percent of the time. I wondered if it were possible to get seasonal affective disorder (ironically abbreviated SAD) due to too much sunshine. I knew it probably sounded stupid, but the rain was actually therapeutic after sun every damn day. Maybe Forks _was_ my "sunshine." Maybe everything would look up for me after so many years of agony. I really hoped so. I was certainly ready for a change in luck.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **This is the second time I'm posting this chapter because I've changed EPOV. I just needed to change where I was going with it. Anyway, this is definitely the final Chapter 4. ;) Thanks for reading.

**Bella**

I cringed at the bright bathroom lights. It was so early that the sun hadn't even risen. Being up before the sun was not my thing, but today was an important day. I was scared shitless to face the courtroom. It made me sick to even think about explaining how Jasper Cullen raped me, and I was going to have to be specific nonetheless. It was worth it, if only to prevent him from hurting another girl. I was going to "take one for the team."

I turned on the shower and waited for the water to get hot. I got in and let the steamy water relax my muscles. It felt amazing and even woke me up a little. The sound of a coffee maker roaring to life echoed from the kitchen. I smiled at the thought of a scorching cup of black coffee in my hands momentarily.

When I finished my shower, I got dressed in an outfit I'd never be caught dead in outside of court. It was a hideously girly white blouse and a black shirt that reached my knees. I even put on high heels. I really didn't want to wear it, but simply figured such an outfit was imperative in making a good impression.

Even though I never bothered with makeup, I decided to wear some. I thought thirteen was a solid age for such a thing. I applied a light peach eyeshadow, mascara, and a hint of lipgloss. I smiled at my new face, thinking it might be something I tried more often. I liked the way it made me appear a little older, more awake, and put-together.

_Now where the fuck is that coffee?_ I thought as I headed toward the kitchen. My heels made me sound like a goddamn horse on the wooden floor. They were incredibly uncomfortable, and I really didn't know how I was going to wear them without tripping or taking them off in the middle of court. I'd definitely be sporting blisters on my feet at the end of the day.

The sun finally decided to wake up too by the time I left the house. I arrived to the courthouse early. There were people scattered in front of the building, all dressed in suits and looking busy. Some were sipping from Starbucks cups, some were on their cell phones, and some were checking their watches every other second.

I had to go through a metal detector when I entered the building. I put my purse through the security checkpoint so the guard could scan it for illegal items. As if I'd bring a fucking weapon or drugs to _court_. I wasn't even the bad guy.

There were more people wearing suits inside the building, but they looked a little more frantic than the ones outside. I made my way to the elevators, and I had to stand in line to get on one. I waited three times before it was my turn to get on, and I felt like a damn sardine once I was inside it. I didn't think so many people would be able to fit, but they kept forcing themselves in. People behind me requested certain floor numbers for me to push. When I was pushing the buttons, I noticed there was no thirteenth floor. I thought it was humorous, because there was still literally a thirteenth floor. It was labeled fourteen, though, as if that would stop bad things from happening. However, it wasn't so humorous that _my_ floor was the fourteenth.

I really wished I had legal representation, but the dumb ass legal system prohibited it. I was only there to be a witness for prosecution. As a witness, I was required to wait outside the room until it was time for me to give my testimony.

The terror I felt was indescribable. I'd heard stories of rape victims having to face graphic pictures of their vajay-jays in court as evidence of the assault. I hoped that wouldn't be the case, because it would be incredibly appalling, embarrassing, sickening, and just downright awful. Nervousness crept up my spine and took over my body. My stomach tossed and turned in knots inside my body. My hands were shaking. Tiny beads of sweat took over my forehead. It was really fucking uncomfortable.

It was hard to tell how much time had passed in my state of mind, but the sheriff came out of the large double-doors to fetch me. My heart pounded against my chest just as it did the night I was raped. I didn't feel ready to relive what had happened. I wanted to run. I wanted to get the fuck away and never look back. But I couldn't.

When I entered the room, I saw the judge first. He was an older man with a full head of white hair. He sat on his podium and appeared to be very tired and unoccupied, like this case was a waste of his time.

The jury sat on the right of the room. They were all very different ages and clearly from incredibly different walks of life. They each had yellow legal notebooks and black pens. Some appeared to had taken notes, others looked as if they didn't do jack shit and didn't intend to.

Then, the inevitable happened. I saw Jasper. He was sitting by his attorney; a short, petite woman with shoulder-length black hair. I couldn't imagine being her, defending such an evil person. It made her appear evil too. Jasper looked a lot different. He wore a blue dress shirt with a tie, black pants, and black shoes. His hair was slicked back tightly to his head. He looked at the floor with nothing in his expression. His face was completely blank and unreadable. Just being in the same room as him was torturing me.

I took a long, deep breath and stated my case at the witness podium. I didn't leave out one single detail. I was extra careful to let each and every one of the people in the courtroom understand the extent of my suffering. I said everything: that I was a virgin before he raped me, how excruciating it felt to have his dick shoved inside me, the insatiable look in his eyes, my cries of pain, the fact that my private part didn't stop bleeding for hours after he finished, and I even told them about the nightmares I had where I relived that night.

Jasper's face remained blank as I gave my testimony, completely unperturbed by anything I said. I didn't know if I was expecting any sign of remorse from him, but I was certainly expecting more than _nothing_.

The jury gave me their complete attention. One heavy brunette woman watched me with a sympathetic look on her face. I wasn't sure if she had battled similar demons in her past or if she simply felt sorry for me. I hoped she could see that I wasn't there to seek sympathy. I was there to attempt to receive justice by putting that prick away. I felt it would be fair for him to get raped as a punishment, so it brought me solace to imagine all the buttfuckers he'd likely stumble into behind bars.

I held my breath for hours before the jury had reached their decision. My eyes were wide and my heart was beating erratically. This single moment would effect so much that it made my head spin. I subconsciously tapped my heel on the ground, terrified and impatient. And that's when one of the jurors stood next to their microphone. He wasn't a member of the jury I previously noticed. He was a man that appeared to be in his mid-thirties and dressed well.

The juror spoke, "We the jury find the defendant . . . guilty for statutory rape."

I immediately let out the breath I'd been holding, and I turned to Jasper to study his face. He ran his hands through his slicked-back hair, looking disappointed but not surprised. He was given a prison sentence of nine years in Indian Springs, Nevada.

The last thing I remembered was Jasper being handcuffed and escorted out of the room. Before I could think about anything else, I mentally calculated that I would be twenty two years old when he was released from prison. From my understanding, nine years was a general sentence for rapists. I just hoped it would be long enough for him to learn his fucking lesson.

**Edward**

"No fucking way, man!" Emmett said, his voice deep and booming. For some weird-ass reason, he reminded me of a grisly bear.

"Dude, I'm serious. I can't drink anymore," I said. I was putting this conversation off as long as I could, but Emmett showed up at my house to get drunk. I had no choice but to tell him what was going on.

Emmett kicked the ground, his entire demeanor showing a vast amount of disappointment. We were on an overgrown path by the river. Our houses were in the butt fuck of Egypt–well, more like in the butt fuck of the forest–so the river was in close proximity to us. I told him to come with me on a quick little journey before he headed to the liquor store. He grinned, probably assuming I wanted to go find shrooms or some shit. What I was really doing was making sure he didn't go ape shit within hearing distance of our families.

"Why the fuck not?" Emmett asked, getting angry. "I'm going through some shit right now. I really need to throw some back."

I was sure that "some shit" meant Rosalie was being a bitch as usual. I didn't know why he was always so surprised about it. Just because she was hot didn't mean he had to put up with her bullshit on a daily basis. I hoped their relationship was not the epitome of married life. If it was, I wanted nothing to do with marriage. Ever.

"You can't drink every time Rose pisses you off, man. And I can't drink every time Rose pisses you off either. Not anymore. We're gonna end up on _Intervention_ or some shit." I tried to sound convincing and friendly, but I knew it was going to take more than that.

"_Intervention_? What the fuck is this shit really about?" Emmett boomed. He towered over me, as if to make his question more threatening. I thought about how I'd answer without sounding like a pussy, but it was impossible.

"It's fucking Carlisle, isn't it?" he guessed. "He always gives me a disapproving look when I'm at your house. This doesn't have to do with drinking. Your dad just doesn't fucking like me!" He pointed at me with a humongous finger accusingly.

"It's not my fucking dad. Carlisle has no problem with you. Don't make this harder than it already is. It's not like I don't want to drink with you. I just can't anymore. Consider it a New Year's Resolution or something." I looked down, really not wanting to be there. This was definitely not going well.

"Resolution? Come on, Edward. You're acting like we're goddamn alcoholics!" Emmett yelled. He was getting more frustrated by the second, and I needed to calm him down.

"It's not like I don't want to hang out with you. We can kick it without booze. I really just can't drink. It's affecting my family. I don't want to hurt them anymore." I said honestly. This was _so fucking awkward_.

Emmett stood still for a minute, and I focused on the sounds of the forest. The birds were singing in the trees. The sound of the water running down the river was calming. Emmett ran his fingers through his hair, opening his mouth to say something; only to close it immediately.

"I'm sorry Edward. It's just that . . . I found out Rose has been fucking that Laurent guy that works with her. I don't know what the fuck to do. She's been acting funny and working late abnormally often. I've always given her privacy, but I decided to check her e-mail to see if I found something incriminating.

"Sure enough, her inbox was packed with e-mails from Laurent. He didn't even attempt to make small talk with her. All he wrote about is how much he loved banging her and how sexy it was to be fucking at work." Emmett's hands were balled into fists so tight that his knuckles turned white. I wasn't shocked about the affair, but I still felt awful for him.

Emmett continued, "I confronted her about it, and she didn't deny any of it. She had the nerve to say she has 'needs that I can't satisfy.' What the hell is that supposed to mean? Rose and I fuck all the time, and it's always great! I just can't believe she would betray me like that. I want to kill Laurent. He fucking ruined everything." Emmett's eyes were filled with so much rage that I half expected to see fucking flames in his pupils.

I didn't know how to respond. Being cheated on is something that never really goes away, even if you forgive the person for doing it. There will always be the bastard cheating skeleton in the closet. Every time you confront the skeleton, it taunts you and even haunts you. It reminds you that the person you love was fucking someone else. It tells you that you were never good enough. Most people can't deal with the skeleton anymore, and they give up.

"I'm really sorry," I told him. "That's beyond fucked up. I don't even know what to say."

"Just say you'll drink with me," Emmett pleaded.

I stood still by the running river, considering my options. Was I supposed to help a friend in need or was I supposed to make my family happy by not drinking? Either way, someone was going to end up hurt. It only made sense to hurt one person in order to make my family of three proud. Besides, the last thing Emmett really needed in his system was liquor.

"Emmett, I can't keep telling you no. I need to go home," I said with finality in my voice. I didn't give him a chance to respond as I made a bee line for my house. I sighed in relief when I made it inside, shutting the door behind me. I wasn't happy to do that to my best friend, but I was relieved that I would _finally_ make my family proud.


	5. Chapter 5

**Bella**

School was insignificant for weeks. Everything was pretty much routine. Jessica would gush over her crushes-of-the-second until Mr. Mason made her shut up. I'd be silently relieved, especially when he stopped her before she started telling me about how she'd sucked so-and-so's dick, whether or not she swallowed, how she wanted to have sex with him, and . . . _God, she was a fucking slut_.

Lunch was a lot less awkward, and had developed its own routine as well. I finally learned everyone's name at Jessica's table. There was Angela (who I still adored), Lauren (who was still a bitch), Mike (who had thankfully stopped staring at me), Eric, and Ben. Learning their last names would be a different feat.

The only thing that saved me from the petty gossip and boredom of Forks High was my fourth period Biology class with Edward. It was the highlight of my day _every_ day. I still felt incredibly out of place around him, but I couldn't imagine anyone feeling any different. His beauty was enough to make anyone in the world feel insignificant. The fact that he was also polite was almost too good to be true. It was like he came from the heavens to make my life complete. The only problem was I couldn't imagine him ever wanting more than friendship from someone as plain as me.

One particularly rainy Monday changed everything.

I was zoning out at lunch, observing all the people and conversations around me. Jessica and Lauren were gushing about their weekends, Angela was talking to Ben about some sort of assignment, and Mike was giving Eric his opinion about some yearbook shit. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I turned around to see who it was.

Edward stood behind me, his green-golden eyes boring into mine. He smiled at me, making my heart flutter and giving me butterflies in my stomach.

"Hello, Bella. May I please speak with you alone?" he asked.

I was taken aback because he never spoke to me at lunch, but I answered immediately, "Sure, of course."

I grabbed my backpack, catching a quick glimpse of Lauren and Jessica's dumbfounded looks before I left.

I followed Edward to an empty corner of the cafeteria. He pulled out a chair for me to sit in. After I thanked him and sat down, he sat directly across from me.

Edward looked a little nervous, but not exceedingly so. He cleared his throat and said, "I wanted to talk to you because my parents are going to be out of town for the weekend. My sister Alice is going to be having a party at our house on Saturday. I know it's an early notice, but if you're not busy, I would really like for you to come."

I was taken aback. No fucking shit I'd like to go to his party. "Yeah, of course I'll go. That sounds great." There was absolutely no way to hide the giddiness in my voice, which made me a little embarrassed.

He smiled. "May I have your phone number so I can give you directions?"

"Oh, sure. Um, let me grab a piece of paper." I clumsily dug for paper in my backpack. I was so nervous my hands were shaking, making it difficult to grab my binder. When I finally had a blank sheet of paper and a pen, I scribbled down my name and number. I hoped it was legible enough for him. My penmanship was shitty enough without being incredibly nervous.

Edward put my number in his backpack. "Thanks, Bella. I will call you with directions before Saturday."

"That sounds great," I said, and we both headed back to our tables. I wondered why he asked me at lunch instead of in our biology class. I guessed there really didn't have to be a legitimate reason.

I couldn't stop smiling when I returned and sat down at the lunch table. Everyone was staring at me as if I had suddenly grown a beard or some crazy shit. Jessica, of course, was the first to speak.

"What's up with you and Edward Cullen?" she asked with pure jealously in her voice. Wait . . . what?

"What did you say?" I asked. My whole body went numb.

Jessica continued, "You know, Edward Cullen! The guy that just came up and kidnapped you from us? Is there something going on between you two?"

I'm sure, being the gossip queen she was, that she was expecting an explanation from me. But I couldn't speak. I was too nauseous to do anything but sprint to the bathroom. Thankfully, no one else was in it.

I puked over and over while I repeated the name in my head. _Edward Cullen. Edward Cullen. Cullen was not a common last name. Edward Cullen was probably _related to _Jasper Cullen_. I gasped for air, but more puke came out before I could get a good breath. I was panicking, wishing that this were some cruel joke Jessica was playing on me. Maybe she knew about my past and was tricking me so that I'd stay away from Edward. I couldn't imagine even someone like Jessica being that cruel, though. I sat on the bathroom floor, alternating between panicking, crying, and throwing up.

It seemed like an eternity before my stomach calmed down enough for me to be able to stand up from the bathroom floor. I rinsed my mouth out in the bathroom sink, and immediately regretted gazing toward the mirror. My eyes were red and swollen, my face was ghostly white, and my hair was all over the place. I was a fucking train wreck, and I needed to get to Charlie's house immediately. I called him on my cell phone and told him I'd caught the stomach flu. He worked at the police station, and I didn't necessarily want to be picked up in his police cruiser; but I had no car and no other options.

Charlie immediately arrived to pick me up, clearly concerned about me. On the way home, he was like a broken record asking if I was okay and if I needed him to stop to buy some Ginger Ale. I assured him all I needed was rest.

After I told Charlie he didn't need to stay home from work to take care of me, I was finally alone in my bed. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I thought I had finally found happiness in Forks. And now the most amazing boy I'd ever met might be fucking related to the asshole that raped me. With my eyes filled with tears, I curled up in a fetal position. I promised myself I would find out the truth about Edward _Cullen_, even if it fucking killed me.

**Edward**

Bella didn't show up for biology. I was really disappointed, because she literally _just_ accepted my party invitation and had given me her phone number at lunch. She didn't really seem like she missed much school . . . at least, I'd never seen her miss any.

I got a weird feeling in my stomach, and realized that I was worried. I wasn't really one to worry, especially when it came to someone missing school. But, if I was going to be honest with myself, I liked Bella. I liked her a lot more than a friend. And I was planning to tell her at the party on Saturday.

Biology was definitely a drag without Bella. Mr. Varner droned on and on like one of the teachers in the _Charlie Brown_ cartoons. All I heard from his mouth was, "Whomp whomp whomp, whomp whomp." When Bella was there, she always told me hilarious stories, blushed about every two seconds, and mocked our teacher's apathetic voice.

When I got home from school, I dug through my backpack for Bella's phone number. I wanted to tell her how shitty class was without her, and I wanted to make sure she'd still be up for going to the party. And, secretly, I just _really_ wanted to hear her voice.

The phone rang four times before she picked up.

"Hello?" It was definitely Bella, but her voice was different. It was groggy, crackly, and it sounded as if she'd been crying. I was immediately concerned.

"Bella, it's Edward. I didn't see you in class, and I wanted to make sure you were alright." I spoke quickly.

"Edward?" she sounded surprised, and almost . . . angry? I wasn't sure.

"Yes, it's Edward. Is everything okay?" I asked, getting anxious.

"I don't want to do this, but something came up today; and I need to see you as soon as possible. Meet me at La Push beach in an hour." She now sounded distant, as if her words were detached from her mind. Before I could even reply, she hung up and an inevitable dial tone hummed in my ear.

I tried to imagine what she needed to see me for, and it made me impossibly more anxious and worried. I threw on a grey coat and ran out the door. I sped to the beach in my Volvo, driving too fast but not giving a damn.

I made it to the beach in twenty minutes, so I had forty minutes to kill. I started to think it was a mistake to give myself so much time to wonder what was going on, but I would have felt just as anxious even if I stayed at home. I paced around on the sand until it made me crazy, and then began to throw rocks in the ocean. I wanted to just fucking scream.

When I thought I couldn't wait any longer, Bella arrived. It looked like she walked the whole fucking way to the beach. I never noticed whether or not she had a car because I was always late to school and I always left early. I frowned at the thought of her walking so far in the pouring rain. She didn't even have a jacket on, so she was soaked from head to toe.

I ran up to Bella immediately, wrapping my jacket around her. She tried to smile at the gesture, but all that came from her lips was a painful grimace. She mumbled a small thanks and walked toward a huge rock underneath a tree. I stood next to her, growing more concerned by the minute. Before I could question her, she spoke.

"Edward, I never knew your last name until today," she said. Her voice was a little less raspy, but it still wasn't normal.

"Oh?" I asked. "That's interesting. But, Bella, what's wrong? I care much more about how you're feeling than what my last name is."

"Edward, do you know who Jasper Cullen is?" she asked.

I was shocked that she mentioned Jasper. My family never talked about Jasper. We didn't even go to his fucking court date, but he didn't deserve our support. He was a piece of shit rapist. "Jasper is my brother. He is in jail and I never speak to him, but why do you ask?"

A single tear slid down Bella's face as she said, "Do you not know? Jasper _raped me_."

No fucking way. I knew that years ago he raped a fucking thirteen-year-old girl on his trip to Las Vegas, but I didn't know her name or anything about her. When Bella moved to Forks, I didn't think anything about that incident; and I certainly didn't consider her being the one he raped. I was absolutely certain Vegas had a huge population, and I also tried to avoid thinking about my brother and what he did at all costs. I guess you could call it repression if you wanted to go all psychology on my ass.

I felt like someone shot me in the heart. How could _anyone _do that to the most amazing girl I'd met, let alone my own brother doing that to her? I attempted to answer, "Bella, I literally had _no idea_. I don't even have words for how sorry I am about what he did to you. I'd really hate for it to change anything between us."

Bella scoffed. "Are you fucking nuts?! Of course it's going to change things! It will change _everything_! How am I going to even look at you without thinking about him, about what he did to me?" Her words were filled to the brim with fury. My heart sank. What were the odds that I finally found a girl I wanted to be with only to find out she was raped by my brother? This world was a shitty motherfucking place.

I spoke softly, accepting defeat, "I don't blame you for that. I really just hate everything about this. I don't know if you've noticed, but I really like you, Bella. You're the most amazing girl I've ever met. And now anything we could have had is ruined because of my goddamn scum-of-the-earth brother. It's _killing_ me." I hoped she could hear the pain that was in my voice, because it was very real and excruciating.

Bella started crying uncontrollably, and she put her head in her hands. I wanted to rub her back and comfort her, but I didn't want to upset her by doing so.

"I re-ally thought Fo-rks would be bet-ter than Ve-gas," she said between sobs. I let her regain control of her voice before I did or said anything. She continued, "I like you too. But I can't do this." She threw my jacket on the rock and sprinted away in the rain.

_Fuck_, this sucked.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Hi! This chapter contains lyrics from a song called "Earth" by Winds of Plague. The lyrics are not mine. If you want to hear the song, I'm sure you can find it on YouTube, iTunes, or wherever you usually listen to music.

There's some smuttiness toward the end, so if that's not your cup-o-tea, then at least I warned you before it was too late! ;)

As always, thank you so much for reading. I'd really love to hear some more input, so if anyone gets a chance, please review!!!

**Bella**

I woke up to the shrill beeping of my alarm clock, and immediately punched the snooze button. My head was throbbing from bawling all night. I groaned and rolled over, wishing I could be anywhere but my awful room. I was able to stay home from school for two days, but Charlie insisted that I should try to go on Thursday.

If only Charlie knew why I was really avoiding school.

If I was going to successfully avoid Edward Cullen, sitting directly next to him in biology was not going to cut it. I was going to have to go to the office and state my situation. I'd beg on my damn knees if I had to.

I arrived at school early to speak with Miss Cope in the front office. Her red hair was particularly messy as she enthusiastically greeted me. "Hello, Miss Swan! You're here bright and early!"

"Yeah," I replied in the cheeriest voice I could come up with. However, my voice came out listless and cold. "Bright and early."

Miss Cope chuckled, sensing my lack of enthusiasm. "I'm not a morning person either. How can I help you this morning, dear?" she asked.

I stumbled for a moment, trying to word my plea just right. "I really need to change my lunch period and my fourth period class. It's really, really important." I gave her the most pleading look I could muster.

"I'm sorry dear, but we can't change your schedule without a request from your guardian. They need to be here in person to approve of your schedule change and state the reason. It can't be over the phone because we've had problems with students pretending to be guardians in the past. Though, why would you want a schedule change so soon? I'm sure your grades are just fine."

Her words made my heart sink. I'd had a shitty past, but this was just the fucking cherry on top. There was no way I could tell Charlie the situation and have him come to my school like that. I would just have to suck it up.

"It's okay," I lied to her. "I was just wondering. Thanks anyway," I mumbled as I stormed out of the office and into the rain. It took all my willpower to not scream that very second.

First period was a nightmare. Jessica was there early, which meant she had longer to pry every detail out of me. I shrugged everything off to having a stomach flu, but she eyed me skeptically no matter how many times I insisted I was plainly just sick.

When lunch arrived, I was dreading having to re-tell my sick story fib. I really just wanted to crawl into a hole and hibernate the day away.

To my surprise, everyone looked at me with genuine concern. Angela was the first to speak, "We were so worried about you! It's so nice to see you back."

"Thanks, Angela. That's really sweet of you," I replied.

Lauren rolled her make-up filled eyes at us and dug in her purse for lipgloss.

"What happened to you?" Mike asked. His baby face looked hilarious with curiosity in his eyes. I imagined him as an infant, asking his mother about the environment around him.

"I just caught a stomach flu. I'm okay, though. You'll all survive in my presence, I think." Mike chuckled at my response.

"Well, we're glad you're back," he said. Jessica gave Mike a death glare immediately, and I wondered why until she spoke.

"So, there's a dance coming up. Mike and I are going together. I'm totally excited! We're all going shopping for outfits today if you want to come," Jessica said. I was so tired of everyone viewing me as a threat. I wasn't ever going to be interested in Mike Newton, and I didn't want to steal the spotlight from Lauren or anyone else. I really wished they'd just see me as I was: simple and plain– not looking to steal anyone's spotlight or crush.

"That's great, Jess. I'll definitely come," I told her. At that moment, I felt as though I was being watched. I gazed around the room and eventually locked eyes with _Edward_. His gaze was painful and pleading, and I couldn't take it any longer than a few seconds before I looked away.

- - - -

When lunch was over, I slowly dragged my feet to biology class. I was worried about what it would be like after everything that had happened. It didn't really matter though, because I'd have no choice but to endure it.

I was in class before Edward, which usually wasn't the case. He sluggishly crept in a few minutes later, just making it before the bell rang. Mr. Varner gave Edward a dirty look even though he was actually on time, which I found rather biased. He was pleasant toward me when I was late, so why glare at Edward when he was on time?

As Mr. Varner began his lecture, I used my hair as a curtain between myself and Edward. Of course it was silly and immature, but I'd do whatever I could to make it through class without having to look at Edward; and, in turn, having to think about his brother.

When the bell rang to signify the end of class, a folded piece of paper landed on top of my notebook. I looked up to see Edward walking toward the exit, and looked down to see a neatly-folded letter. It read:

_Bella,_

_I have no words to describe how very sorry I am. I'm sorry for everything. Maybe in a different life or on a different planet, things between us would have been different. A life where Jasper ceased to exist. I just needed you to know that I will never stop caring for you. I will be here if you ever decide to talk to me again._

_Edward_

**Edward**

I locked myself in my room, rummaging through my CD case to find _Winds of Plague_. I was in dire need of some death metal therapy.

When I found the album I was looking for, I popped it in my CD player and cranked up the volume. The first track had a man's deep, slow voice with haunting music in the background. His voice reminded me of one from a movie trailer. The voice began, "Earth, home to well over six billion people– a most majestic and brilliant sight when seen through the eyes of peace. Foreboding, to say the least, when caught in the gears of the machine. With the world blindfolded by the lust for power, wealth, and control, a perfect game board is laid out for two divine powers to manipulate the pawns into position to carry out their conquest for global domination. For you see, this world has many mysteries, and nothing is ever what it seems to be. Every action starts with a thought, every thought comes from influence, every influence has its roots. The world is either good or evil, and this is where our story begins. . . "

The second track immediately began, which contained a mind-blowing symphony of guitar riffs and screams. _Fuck yes_! I was well aware that such a band was too "hard" for some peoples' taste, but I considered it the best shit on the planet. It calmed the screams I'd been suppressing, and it felt so fucking good.

It was Saturday afternoon, which also meant there would be a party at my house in a matter of hours. I knew I was expected to entertain the guests, but what I really wanted to do was grab a bottle of Carlisle's Bacardi 151 and listen to music in my room all night. I was in no mood to socialize, especially after what happened with Bella.

I put my CD on pause in order to sneak downstairs to the liquor cabinet. I heard Alice vacuuming in the other room, being obsessive about the appearance of our house for the party. She began preparing immediately after our parents left on Friday. There were hundreds of white, twinkling lights inside and outside. She thought it would be fun to have some sort of jungle/tiki theme, so she went to a party supply store for jungle decorations and tiki torches. God bless her, she even found a damn totem pole.

She probably needed a little help cleaning, but I really just needed to sulk in the confinement of my own room. I bet she was fucking _loathing_ my music, and it made me grin. Her idea of good music was crappy rap songs about being rich and fucking bitches, so we had been debating about what music we'd play at the party ever since we found out Carlisle and Esme would be leaving town for the weekend.

I crept past a busy Alice and made it to Carlisle's liquor cabinet. It was in the Great Room by the kitchen, and it was tantalizing. I could almost hear the bottles whisper my name. I really didn't want to fuck up my sobriety, but I was too depressed to care. I swiftly considered my options: Jack Daniels whiskey, Bombay Sapphire gin, Skky vodka, Absolut vodka, Southern Comfort, Malibu rum, Lucid Absinthe . . . a-HAH! Bacardi 151, just what I'd been looking for.

I stuffed the bottle in my jeans and pulled my shirt over it. I knew it would be obvious if Alice averted any of her attention to me, so I sprinted up the stairs to my room and locked the door behind me. I had installed a locking doorknob when my father and I had a particularly ugly fight a couple years earlier, and I was grateful the lock was still there. It always worked well for my privacy needs.

I scanned my room for something to mix with my new prize. I had a mini fridge that I'd stocked with a shit load of Cokes when I gave up drinking. It seemed to defeat the purpose as I gulped down some soda and filled the rest of the can with rum. The newly alcoholic Coke was devoured within seconds. I made another. And another. Before I knew it, I was drunk as shit. I way too gone to be able to even attempt sobriety, so I figured I'd just enjoy the feeling while I could.

- - - -

The house began to fill up with people around nine, and it was completely packed by ten thirty. Some guests brought their own booze–presumably stolen from their parents' stash– though it wasn't really necessary. All Alice had to do was wink at the pimply teenaged liquor store employee, and he succumbed to her every underage alcoholic purchase. For the girls, she made sure to have plenty of Raspberry Smirnoff Ice and Sour Apple Pucker. Alice knew the guys would jizz their pants over a keg, but she didn't want to have to pick it up right before the party to ensure it was cold for the guests. Instead, she supplied bottled Bud Light, Smirnoff vodka, and Crown Royal whiskey. To me, all alcohol was unisex. I didn't give a fuck what I drank as long as it made me fucked up. To Alice, a good hostess would supply "sexist" beverages to keep everybody pleased.

The crowd of people were yelling, laughing, clanking their bottles together, dancing, and making fools of themselves. Alcohol was definitely flowing in their veins. When I was positive Alice was out of sight, I snuck a shot of vodka to ensure a constant buzz. I was still drunk from earlier, but not as much as I'd like to be.

I was having a better time than I thought I would. That is, until Tanya stepped through the front door.

My heart fucking _stopped_.

Tanya Denali was undeniably gorgeous. She had blonde hair that extended almost all the way down her back, probably with the help of extensions. I'd always seen her with straight hair, but that night she wore it curled. Her eyes were icy blue, like looking into illuminated water. With the help of mascara, she had immensely long, dark eyelashes. All the guys in the room undressed her with their eyes, while all the girls in the room sneered at her out of jealousy. I couldn't blame either gender.

Tanya shook her ass over to me in her skimpy red dress and smiled. She grabbed a Smirnoff Ice on the kitchen counter behind me, and said, "I hope you don't mind that I invited myself, Edward. I know it's probably a little rude."

Her hair bounced around with every movement, shinning in the array of lights Alice had hung. I was a creepy motherfucker, but I actually thought about sniffing it. I wondered what shampoo she used.

"It's fine," I said apathetically. I was almost to the point of seeing double, and seeing two Tanyas would be just overkill.

"You look a little drunk," she said. No fucking shit, Sherlock Denali. I gave her a tight nod. No matter how nonchalant I acted, I was certain my attraction to her was completely readable.

Tanya grinned wickedly, taking a swig from her flavored malt beverage. "It's so weird, being in Forks again. It's nothing like Alaska. Getting used to darkness half the year is only part of it. You know, there are a lot of small towns where there's nothing to do but get wasted. The residents drink themselves stupid, and they either freeze to death getting lost or fall off unseen reservoirs. A lot of them go missing. It's pretty fucked up."

I didn't know where this was going. All I knew was that I was drunk, my dick was hard, and Tanya was talking about dead people. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed the vodka and chugged it from the bottle. It burned all the way down my throat as Tanya watched me in shock and awe.

Tanya droned on about something I wasn't really listening to. The vodka hit me hard within minutes, and I needed to sit down.

As I searched the crowded house for somewhere to sit, a warm hand grabbed my wrist.

"Maybe you should go lay down. I'll help. You just need to show me where your room is," Tanya said, looking up at me through her long, thick lashes. My dick grew impossibly harder at the thought of her in my room.

I was a piece of shit.

This was supposed to be the party where I asked Bella out, not some sort of Tanya fuck fest.

But there was nothing I could do. I was under Tanya's spell. I was letting her let me walk us up to my room. Every step on the stairs felt like a death march, like I was walking toward my own assassination. It felt so wrong, but so terribly right.

We entered my room, and I clumsily locked the door out of habit. Before I could turn to her and speak, her soft lips were locked with mine and she was leading me to the bed. Her tongue entered my mouth urgently, and she tasted like sweet raspberries. She softly moaned when we stopped for a breath and her hands wandered to my throbbing hard cock. Even though she touched it outside my pants, it twitched with anticipation. Besides my right hand, I hadn't gotten much action lately; so it felt _too_ fucking good. I shoved her hand down my pants so she would grab my dick, and I groaned at her tight grip around the tip. I breathed hard as she stroked it, just wanting to explode right away.

"Slow down," I said breathlessly.

Tanya slowed her pace and began kissing my neck. I groaned, hating and loving that she had found a weakness of mind. She continued stroking me and kissing my neck, eventually working her way back to my mouth; kissing me passionately. My hands wandered toward her tits and I cupped them for a moment before unlatching her bra. I pulled her dress up so I could see the girls, and I licked her nipple.

"Please just fuck me," Tanya begged, but everything starting getting really dizzy. Before I could even move, I hurled like the fucking exorcist all over Tanya's half-naked body.

If looks could kill, I'd be dead a thousand times by that one single glare from Tanya's eyes.

"What . . . the . . . fuck . . . is _wrong_ with you?!" she screamed. "Haven't you heard of a goddamn bathroom? Get me a fucking towel!"

I snatched a towel that draped over my chair and tossed it in her direction. The towel had some of my soldiers on it from my afternoon endeavors with pornography, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

After she wiped my puke off her tits and put her bra and dress back in place, she stormed out of the room.

Even though the party was still going strong, all I wanted was to be in bed. I knew I made a mistake, and I was thankful to be cock blocked by my very own vomit. As I went over the events that had taken place that night, I couldn't help but wonder how the night would have been different if Bella Swan had been there.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **My readers rock more than Edward puking on Tanya! Review pretty please with Edward on top?

**Bella**

_Drip._

_Drip._

_Drip._

Charlie's house was so quiet I could hear the sink leaking across the hall from my room. I lied on my bed with Edward's note in my hand. I must have read it a hundred times that day, trying to pick it apart for some hidden meaning. Truthfully, I wasn't expecting anything from him, not even a letter. It pained me that he had to suffer because of what Jasper did to me. It wasn't fair, but I couldn't just _forget_ that they were brothers. The hardest part of all was that Edward admitted that he had feelings for me, and we would never be able to know what our relationship could blossom into. The flower of potential was now wilted and dying, its once radiant green leaves turning dry and brown.

I sighed and turned my gaze to the window. It was twilight, my favorite time of day. The fading sun lit up the sky in an array of colors from yellow to pink, and then from icy light blue to purplish dark blue. The pink part of the sky lit up the rain clouds, making it absolutely beautiful. I snapped a quick photo with my digital camera and headed downstairs to start dinner.

After washing my hands, I brought a large pot of water to a boil for the bowtie pasta I intended to make. I'd recently found an amazing cooking website, and I was experimenting with new recipes left and right. When the water was ready, I poured in the raw pasta and reduced the heat on the stove. I chopped up some tomatoes, broccoli, and garlic while the pasta was cooking– not neglecting to stir the pasta every two minutes. I boiled the shrimp until it turned pink and set it aside after draining it. After the pasta was done, I added the rest of the ingredients and whipped everything together.

I threw dinner rolls in the oven and set the table while they were baking. When I arrived in Forks, Charlie did not have any placemats because all of his meals were spent alone watching TV on the sofa. He took me to a home supply store so I could pick out a few tablecloths and placemats for our meals together. I chose a silver tablecloth with beautiful white threaded designs, a red tablecloth with gold lining around the edges, black placemats, and beige placemats. I thought the black would match the silver and the beige would match the red, not that it mattered very much; I just didn't want them to be completely incompatible.

The timer beeped for the rolls right when Charlie stepped through the front door. As he shrugged out of his sheriff jacket, he said, "Hey, Bells. It smells great in here!" He looked toward the kitchen, searching for the source of the aroma. I had to admit, it really did smell fantastic. My stomach rumbled with anticipation. Charlie continued, "Thanks for making dinner. I'm starving."

Charlie was still a little awkward around me, but comfortable enough to call me "Bells." It was pretty good progress, considering the fact that he called me Isabella for a week straight when I moved in.

I transferred the pasta and rolls to the dining room. Both of us greedily filled our plates and immediately began eating.

Charlie began conversation in between bites. "How was your first day back at school?"

I finished chewing a ridiculously huge bite of pasta before I began. "It was okay. The day went by pretty fast with nothing exceptional happening. But before I forget, would it be okay if I go shopping with Jessica and the girls tomorrow after school? There's this dance coming up and they want to get their dresses."

Charlie eyed me skeptically, presumably wondering why I voluntarily wanted to do something involving _shopping_ and _dresses_. "Where do you plan on shopping at?" he asked.

"I'm not sure yet, but I think they mentioned something about Port Angeles having good clothing stores. It will probably be there," I replied.

He shifted in his seat, something he only did when he was uncomfortable with what he was about to say. "So . . . are you going to this dance . . . with a . . . boy?" he asked slowly as he speared a bite of pasta with his fork.

"Oh, _God_ no!" I said honestly. I had a hunch Mike Newton wanted to ask me, but luckily for me, the girls were supposed to be the ones to ask the boys to this dance. Jessica must have cornered him in an uncomfortable spot, giving him no choice but to agree. I added, "I mean, me and dancing don't really go so well in the first place. I'm just going to help my friends pick out dresses to spend time with them outside of school."

"I don't see a problem with that. Just be sure to let me know where you'll be. There's been some pretty gruesome stuff going on lately, so I'd also like you to get home before dark. I'm not trying to be strict on you, I would just hate for anything bad to happen to you," Charlie said.

"Okay. But what stuff are you talking about?" I was beyond curious about what he mentioned.

"Well, I don't want to upset you, Bells. I know you're seventeen and all, but this world can be a terrible place— especially through the eyes of a cop." He paused, taking a bite of his roll. I waited patiently for him to continue, but he said nothing.

"I assure you, I can handle it." I told him.

Charlie sat silently for a moment weighing his options. "I just really can't, Bells."

The rest of our dinner was silent. I felt like a child whose eyes were being covered in a horror movie, only I was seventeen and deserved to be able to see.

- - - -

The sun attempted to peek out through the grey rain clouds on Friday. School had just ended, and I entered Jessica's purple Toyota Corolla. She was more than thrilled to go shopping with me, despite our immensely different taste in style.

"I'm, like, so glad you're coming with us, Bella!" Jessica exclaimed. Lauren sat silently in the front seat with oversized sunglasses and Angela sat next to me in the back.

"Me too. This will be fun," I said. I truly was glad to get out of the house. If it weren't for them, I would be sitting in my room, wishing Edward had a different last name and I would have never ran into Jasper in Vegas. My thoughts always tortured me the most when I was alone.

"I'm so glad you're coming," Angela said, beaming at me. I smiled back at her genuinely. I could see Angela and I becoming close friends.

Lauren turned to me, smacking her gum. "Um, why aren't you going to the dance?" she asked. _Great, here we go_, I thought.

"No reason, really. It's just not my thing," I replied.

Lauren scoffed. "God, Bella. You're so . . . gothic."

Angela and I looked at each other, surprised at the random statement by Queen Coach Purse Bitch. There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment until Jessica and Lauren started asking each other what color dresses they were going to look for. Angela secretly rolled her eyes toward me, which made me suppress a laugh.

We made it to Port Angeles and got out of the car. Everyone but me was admiring the protruding sun. I was getting used to the comfort of a jacket, so having to wear a regular t-shirt made me feel almost naked.

We headed toward some fancy store that I was almost positive none of them could afford. A tall, skinny saleswoman in her forties approached us with a huge artificial grin. "Good afternoon ladies! What can I help you with today?"

Jessica replied enthusiastically, "We're looking for dresses for our school dance!" For a moment, I reconsidered her apparent use of stimulants; but decided against it when I noticed her pupils weren't dilated whatsoever.

"Oh, wonderful!" The fake-smiled saleswoman cooed. "We have plenty of formal dresses. Please, follow me this way."

Jessica and Lauren must have tried on a hundred dresses before they were done. I peeked at one price tag when they were in the dressing room, and it was well over a thousand dollars. _Thanks for the gigantic waste of time, guys_, I thought.

After browsing several more stores, all three girls found dresses they were satisfied with. Not surprisingly, Jessica and Lauren bought revealing dresses while Angela bought a flattering, conservative dress.

While Jessica drove us home, I couldn't help but think of Edward and what dress I would have picked out if I were attending the dance with him. Perhaps shopping with friends didn't really alter my mind away from what I was really thinking about after all.

**Edward **

I woke up Sunday morning with a dreadful hangover. My room still smelled like vomit. I silently wished I would have stayed sober like I'd intended to. A lot of people had bad things happen to them, and not everyone had to drink to hide from their problems. Okay, a lot of people turned to controlled substances to escape hardships, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I really liked Bella, and I hated the way the party turned out without her there.

On Thursday, the day Bella returned to school, I wrote her a short but understandable letter. I was hoping she'd respond in one way or another, but she didn't. Perhaps losing hope in my future with Bella was what made me succumb to Tanya so easily. Actually, it was all the liquor. But losing hope in my future with Bella absolutely killed me.

A sharp knock on my room door made me slightly jump, which made my already throbbing head much worse. "What do you want?" I asked, clearly irritated.

Alice crept into my room with a melancholy look on her face. The last thing I needed was her to be disappointed in me. "Edward," she said, "What happened last night?"

"Look Alice, I don't feel good and I really don't know what you're talking about," I said.

"Edward, I'm serious. What happened last night? I sort of . . . got too drunk to remember," she said sheepishly, rubbing her arm with her hand.

"Hah! Very funny, little sis. You don't drink." I said, really hoping she wasn't being honest.

"No, _you_ don't drink. You quit drinking, remember? And I accidentally got pressured into drinking last night. I really don't remember anything." Alice looked genuinely scared and concerned, and now she was unfortunately looking for help from _me_.

"Uh, I kind of fucked up on the quitting drinking thing. I was fucking gone last night. I really don't know what went down." I looked at the floor while I spoke, ashamed of myself.

Alice started getting furious. "Well that's just fucking great! I'm so glad you stuck with your sobriety plan and that you can help me for _once_ in your _entire existence_!" Before I could reply, she stormed out of the room.

- - - -

Monday was going to be a new day. I drove to school telling myself that things were really going to be different. I knew I wasn't perfect. I knew I was bound to fuck things up eventually. But it wasn't going to stop me from trying to get what I really needed, and what I really needed was Bella Swan.

When I arrived at school, fairly early for once, I waited at the entrance— hoping I would run into Bella when she arrived.

With some unfathomable luck, Bella walked right towards me when she arrived at school. It was as if she was the one that wanted things to change, that she wanted to move forward and realize our full potential together.

As usual, I was wrong.

Bella walked right past me and faded into the crowd of students, out of reach once again.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Semi-Fluff alert, right ahead!

Thanks for the reviews and thanks for reading! I love you guys!

**Bella**

It was Sunday, February 14th, 2010. As far as I was concerned, it might as well have been December 21st, 2012. After all, there was really no difference between motherfucking _Valentine's Day_ and the end of the world. I glared at my calendar in a futile attempt to will the day out of existence. But the 14th of February still subsisted on the page, as if to mock me.

I'd always considered Valentine's Day no more than a Hallmark Holiday. Its existence was of no benefit to anyone but companies that sold greeting cards, flowers, and candy. Of course, _happy couples _benefited from the day. I'm sure it was just great to be in love and showered with gifts all day, but I'd never known what it was like; so I was undeniably bitter.

I raided my closest for the blackest shirt I could find— absolutely not willing to settle for a _faded_ black shirt. I settled for a deep midnight black v-neck shirt and put it on over my black lace bra. Then I picked a grey hoodie to zip over my shirt since it was raining. No _colors_ were allowed to brighten my mood today, and grey was the next best thing to black. I stepped into my favorite ripped jeans, grabbed my newly purchased umbrella, and headed downstairs to leave.

Charlie was on the brown sofa in our living room, hypnotized by the football game. He took a swig of his Miller Light before he noticed I was in the room.

"Hey Bells. Where are you heading off to?" he asked, looking back and forth from me and the game.

"Just going to La Push beach. It's not raining too hard, and I need some fresh air." I said.

"Well, be back before dark," he said. I wasn't surprised, but I was slightly annoyed. I wasn't fucking five years old, but he was sure treating me as if that were the case.

"Will do," I mumbled, and I scrambled out the door to avoid any further conversation.

On the ridiculously long walk to La Push beach, I imagined how much nicer it would be to have a car. I then wondered why I was willingly going back to "ground zero," also known as the spot I found out about Edward and Jasper being related. I was going there on the worst day of the year nonetheless. I was quite possibly a masochist.

I folded up my umbrella and headed toward the forest in order to get to the beach faster. Going around the forest would take me a lot longer, and time was of the essence, given my childish curfew. My sense of direction wasn't particularly superb, but I figured I'd be fine. I supposed I could get lost and eaten by bears or some shit, but there was no use dwelling on it. If I got eaten by a bear, then I got eaten by a bear.

The leaves crunched under my feet as I walked steadily through the forest. Suddenly, another set of footsteps crunched through the leaves behind me. I stopped frozen in my tracks, regretting my shortcut through the forest.

The tallest guy I'd ever seen stood behind me. His skin was a shade of tan that, as ridiculous as it sounded, reminded me of an Indian's skin tone. He had short, black hair, humongous muscles, and a glistening smile on his face.

"You don't look familiar," he said in a deep voice.

My heart pounded as I asked, "Should I?" My voice was small, like a mouse.

"_I_ think you should. You see, we get somewhat territorial here in La Push. We don't like strangers to just waltz around doing whatever the fuck they want on our land." He glared at me as he spoke, which made me swallow loudly.

"I'm s-sorry . . . I didn't know . . . I was j-just going to the beach," I stammered. He looked as though he could very easily break me in half, and I didn't think he'd hesitate in doing so.

"Of course! Everybody loves the goddamn beach!" he said, throwing his arms in the air to emphasize his statement.

"I . . . I really didn't mean to upset you. I didn't mean any harm. I'll go home and won't return. You won't ever have to worry about me being on your territory," I said, surprised at the sudden stability in my voice.

He forcefully grabbed my arm so hard I thought he was going to dislocate it from its socket. "Not so fast, sugar," he said in a menacingly low voice.

My mind went to a million different places at once. I thought about Jasper and the night he raped me. I thought about Charlie telling me gruesome things have been going on in town. Could this man possibly be connected to these activities? Could there have been rapes, murders, or even both? And then, out of nowhere, I thought about Edward and how I wished he were there. I wished I would have told him everything was okay; that it wasn't his fault that Jasper did that to me. I'd tell him we could move on and work everything out. We would embrace, he'd kiss my forehead, and everything would be okay.

The malevolent man in the forest must have killed me quickly, because Edward appeared through a clearing in the trees. Edward must have been an angel all along, and now he was there to take me to heaven. Death was certainly not as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually ideal.

The angel came closer and spoke, "Let her fucking go." Were angels allowed to utter obscenities? And were they allowed to speak so menacingly? Perhaps I had a lot to learn about heaven.

Then I realized I was still under the grasp of the tall man, and it tightened with Edward's words. "Make me," he said, taunting Edward.

"I'm going to give you three fucking seconds to let her go, Jacob Black." Edward said, his voice ominous.

Okay, so I wasn't dead. This was very real and I was very alive.

The man supposedly called Jacob made his grasp around my arm impossibly tighter, and I winced from the pain.

Three seconds passed.

The distinct sound of a fist's contact with flesh echoed through the woods as Edward punched Jacob's face, forcing him to let go of my arm. The next few seconds were a blur, consisting of Edward's fists annihilating Jacob's face and an incredible amount of blood. Edward looked like a rabid animal with every punch, his eyes wild with anger and hate. Jacob definitely had more muscles, but Edward's strength belied his very stature. Jacob didn't even have a hope of a chance against Edward. Judging by Jacob's lack of defense, he knew it.

Edward then forcibly kicked Jacob in the balls, making him curl in a fetal position. Edward hissed, "Don't you _ever_ fuck with Bella again unless you want to see the light of another day. You fucking understand me, _boy_?"

Jacob nodded, and Edward led me away from the messy site.

**Edward**

Bella was in shock when I guided her away from Jacob's mangled body. I was slightly dazed myself, though I didn't show it. I knew it was a risky move, but I lightly rubbed her back to calm her down. Surprisingly, she didn't flinch, and it even seemed to calm her down a little.

"I really should have warned you about the whole 'territory' thing here in La Push. I guess I just didn't really have a chance to after what happened that day," I said softly.

Bella still looked perturbed, but she managed to keep a steady voice. "I don't blame you, Edward. I shouldn't have just left you like that. It was uncalled for."

"I could never blame you for how you reacted. You had every right to. Bella, my brother is a fucking _monster_." I paused for a moment, choosing my words wisely. "I'm so fucking glad I was at the right place at the right time to stop that Jacob prick from hurting you. Is your arm okay?"

"It's pretty sore, but I'll live," she replied. We were walking slowly through the woods, heading away from La Push.

"I'm really sorry Jacob hurt your arm. He thinks he's some fucking big shot. There's this wannabe gang he thinks he's in, and they do stupid shit all the time; especially to people that live outside of La Push. But I'm sure your dad has already filled you in about that stuff, since he's a sheriff and all." I looked at her while I spoke, and couldn't believe how breathtakingly beautiful she was. Any model or celebrity had nothing on Bella Swan.

"Actually, Charlie hasn't told me anything. I mean, he said something about gruesome stuff going on, but he didn't say what it was. I think he's still getting used to me, because he's really been treating me like a child and shielding my eyes from reality. I can't even be out after dark." She looked at the ground as she spoke. I was surprised at how much she was opening up to me.

"I guess no parent wants their child to view the atrocities of the world," I said. "I'm sure he's not trying to treat you like a child. He probably just doesn't know how to balance giving you freedom and setting regulations."

"I really think you're right," she said. "Charlie and I are really still getting used to each other. I imagine it must be hard for him, being a single parent and adopting a seventeen-year-old girl. I don't think anyone would be prepared for that."

"There you go," I said. "Everything usually makes sense when you take a moment to analyze it. But, there are still some things I'll never make much sense of."

It was as if Bella read my mind. "Like Jasper," she whispered.

"Like Jasper," I echoed. I lowered my voice to just above a whisper and continued, "Bella, I don't know how this is going to sound, and I'm probably risking everything by saying it. But, the truth is . . . I haven't been able to function very well lately. When we're in class together, it kills me to be so close to you, but so far away. I'm really not good with expressing how I feel. I suck at that shit. I guess I can only do my best. So . . . Bella . . . I need you to know that you're all I think about. Ever since you stepped into Mr. Varner's class, my entire world has been different. I've never felt so strongly about anything before. You really don't know how much it kills me to think about what happened with Jasper and how I wish he never fucking did that to you, and I really wish he was never born at all. I realize it's asking a lot, but it will kill me if I don't. Bella, will you please give me a chance? Living in a world where I can't even speak to you is incredibly miserable." I held my breath while I waited for a response.

"Edward . . ." she began, "I was really hoping this would happen. I think about you all the time, and I have been battling with myself trying to figure out how to look past Jasper and just focus on us. I know it must be difficult for you to have to deal with what your brother did, and it's so unfair for me to not talk to you for something that's not your fault. I'm ready to take a chance, I'm ready to be your friend."

I was beyond thrilled with the direction of our conversation, but there was one more thing I needed to know.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" I asked.

"Of course." She said breathlessly.

"Will you be my valentine?"

I couldn't believe it, but she said yes.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Hello, there! There are so very many amazing stories out there, so the fact that you're taking the time out of your day to read mine is really incredible and definitely appreciated. I would really like to hear everyone's thoughts. If you'd like, let me know what you think in the review section. Thanks to everyone who added me to their story alerts and favorites! You don't go unnoticed, and I really do appreciate every single one of you. Even if you don't review or add me to some fancy list, I am glad you're stopping by to read my story. I truly, truly am. I may sound like a broken record, but I never expected even one person to be interested in my story. So even though this story isn't the most popular on FFn by any means, my readers are what give me motivation to keep going with this mess of a fic. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all!

**Bella**

It was hard for me to wrap my mind around what I'd just witnessed.

Edward had appeared out of nowhere to save me from Jacob's iron grasp— by thoroughly kicking his fucking tan little ass.

Edward and I came to the conclusion that we'd move past what was preventing us from even speaking to each other (A.K.A. Jasper).

And, possibly even more surprisingly, I had agreed to be Edward's _Valentine_.

It all felt so surreal that I had to restrain myself from pinching my own arm. It wasn't like I didn't want us to have a normal relationship. I really did want to move past the intense burden of what happened with Jasper and how Edward was unwillingly related to it. I simply didn't expect for it to happen so soon, and certainly didn't expect to have the romantically-implied title of being his Valentine. I was unsure of what being a Valentine consisted of, but hoped it wasn't a step I wasn't ready to take.

Edward led me out of the forest, which looked malevolent after what had happened with Jacob. The moss-covered trees seemed ominous, and I could have sworn they were seemingly breathing as the wind howled through their leaves. I was certainly relieved that we were heading away from the forest.

I dug in my grey hoodie's pocket for my pack of cigarettes. I raised my eyebrows and extended the open pack, attempting to silently offer Edward one.

"Oh, no thanks," he said.

"Suit yourself," I replied, lighting up a cigarette for myself. It took me a few times to light it, thanks to the wind and rain. When I finally did succeed, the cigarette calmed my nerves and I was immediately less anxious.

We walked down a wet, empty road until we reached a silver Volvo.

"This is your car?" I asked dumbly. I knew I was stating the obvious, but it was hard to believe a seventeen-year-old boy owned such a nice ride. I mean, boys always crashed and shit— probably due to the excess in testosterone that flowed through their boyish little veins. It didn't make sense for him to have a nice car that would likely be totaled in the near future.

"Yeah," he said, his pride obviously swelling. He even stuck out his chest a little, which made me want to laugh. "A birthday present from my parents."

"Damn, that's a nice-ass present," I mused.

Edward offered a smile in silent agreement as he opened the passenger door for me. I blushed profusely at the gesture, probably looking like some sort of heart-shaped candy box. At least it was apropos to the occasion.

I tossed my cigarette on the street, thanked Edward, and took a seat in his car. I immediately noticed the distinct "new car" smell, and inhaled deeply to cherish it. That was quite possibly one of the most amazing aromas in existence. It was a shame it never lasted, eventually fading into a distinct "old car" scent that came with everyday wear and tear.

I relaxed more and more as Edward shut my door and walked around to the driver's side of the car. The wind howled outside of the window, as if it were angry it could not get inside the car with us. The rain lightly pounded on the car and made tiny little patterns on the windshield and windows around us.

Edward turned on the engine, which made the white speedometer light up. It had a blue circle in the middle that contained numbers and symbols I did not understand. His CD player sat atop a fucking GPS, and jealousy overtook my mind. What did he need a GPS for, anyway? Being new to the town, I was a lot more likely to get fucking lost than him. Then again, I didn't even have a car, so it didn't matter either way.

A deafening metal song immediately took over the speakers, which made Edward fumble to turn it off.

"Sorry," he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"Are you kidding? I love this shit! Turn it back on!" I squealed. It was great to know he liked Napalm Death, a band I figured a small town guy would be to prissy to appreciate.

Edward widely smiled at me as he turned the CD back on and we headed down the road.

The clock on his fancy-smancy car read 3:24 P.M., which meant I had some time to kill before I had to be home.

As if he read my mind, Edward asked loudly, over the music, "Wanna get something to eat?"

"Sounds great!" I yelled, fighting the urge to headbang to Napalm motherfucking Death.

The foliage on the side of the road was a blur as Edward sped away from La Push. He drove incredibly fast, which further legitimized my claims of his likelihood of totaling the car.

Edward slowed down to turn into a small diner that was basically in the middle of nowhere. I thought it was a weird place for a business, but shrugged it off. Edward parked, killed the engine, and told me to wait in my seat for a moment. Confused, I watched as he got out of the car and opened my passenger door, extending his arm to help me out. He was certainly a gentleman. I accepted the offer and grabbed his hand to help me up.

I followed Edward to the entrance of the café that was _brilliantly _called "Forks Diner." It had a rustic appearance. The building was mostly wooden, like a log cabin. The wood was shiny from the rain. There was a chimney atop the roof with smoke protruding from it. The concept of eating next to a fireplace excited me. It would be so cozy, especially since it was so windy and wet outside.

Edward held the restaurant door open for me, and I thanked him. The door-opening was becoming a routine already, but I really didn't think he was doing it to be a kiss-ass. I could tell when someone was polite just because they had a good heart, and Edward was such a person.

We were greeted by a waitress in her mid-twenties. It appeared to be her last trimester in her pregnancy, and she was subconsciously rubbing her belly to emphasize that fact. She smiled at us with her bright pink lips and said, "Welcome to Forks Diner! Would you two prefer a certain table today?"

"I'd love a seat by the fireplace, thanks for asking," I said shyly.

"Of course, darlin', follow me," said preggo pants in a cheerful tone. She led us to a wooden table by the fireplace and handed us two menus. As we sat down, she continued, "Our special today is chicken cordon bleu with sides of steamed veggies and mashed potatoes. Can I start you folks off with something to drink?"

Edward motioned for her to start with me. "Do you have hot chocolate?" I asked. The warmth of the beverage sounded so good, especially after the stressful, windy, rainy day.

"Absolutely," she replied, scribbling my order down on her notepad. She then turned to Edward. "And for you, sir?" she asked.

"I'll take a Coke, please," he answered politely.

"Great," she said as she added Edward's drink to the notepad. "I'll give you two some time to look over the menu, and your drinks will be right up."

We both thanked her and she headed to the back of the restaurant toward the kitchen. The warmth of the fire felt so calming and welcoming that I sighed out of contentment.

"This was a really nice idea," I told Edward, who was studying the menu intently. The light from the fire flickered on his flawless face, which made it even more flattering than it already was. He offered me a charming smile and nodded.

I examined my own menu and immediately decided I wanted the four cheese stuffed ravioli with grilled chicken. I was definitely a pasta girl when I went out to eat, mainly because pasta was hard to fuck up.

I was undeniably calm around Edward, considering the fact that not even a day earlier, I'd been completely avoiding him at all costs. It made me feel ashamed and a little guilty, though I knew I shouldn't.

"What are you going to get?" I asked Edward, hoping what he chose wasn't less expensive than my pasta. I wasn't being cocky when I assumed he was going to pay for my meal, I was just being realistic by considering all his traditional acts of kindness toward me.

"I think . . . I'm going to get the steak," he said thoughtfully, still focusing on his menu. He turned his gaze toward me, and my breath hitched when I gazed into his amazing green golden eyes. I had forgotten how incredibly unique and beautiful his eyes were.

I was relieved to hear his dinner was going to be twice as much as mine. Not that I wanted him to be spending a fortune altogether, I just didn't want to seem like I was taking advantage of his generosity.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of us, and I took advantage of it by asking him something that had been picking at my brain ever since he appeared in the forest to save me.

"Edward, I was sort of wondering . . . if you don't mind me asking, of course . . . what you were doing in the La Push forest today? I mean, it's none of my business, really. I'm just being nosey I guess." I mentally slapped myself on the forehead for rambling so much.

Edward looked to the fireplace behind me, deep in thought.

Minutes passed.

He didn't answer.

**Edward**

Bella wanted to know why I'd been in La Push that afternoon, which put me in a conundrum. I didn't want her to know the truth, but I also didn't want to lie. The truth was that I received a text message from one of my old friends, Emily. She had gotten into a messy argument with her boyfriend, Jacob. Jacob had stormed off and Emily wanted me to go talk some sense into him.

I knew Jacob could give a shit less about what I did or said to him. We'd been friends before he started associating himself with the La Push local "gang." We had a blowout because I told him how fucking stupid he was for hanging out with them and committing petty criminal activities. However, Emily was my friend; and I was always faithful to my friends.

Everything changed when I found Jacob and he was threatening Bella. Emily had nothing to do with it anymore. It took all the willpower I had to not rip Jacob's nut sack off. Seeing him grab her arm and hearing him threaten her like he did enraged me, and I just went ballistic. My very own brother had hurt Bella, and I'd be damned if I'd let anything else happen to her ever again.

I returned to the present, looking at Bella's faultless, ivory face. Her brown eyes were filled with worry as she looked at me, expecting an answer. She deserved to know.

"I was there to help a friend of mine. Jacob was fighting with her, and she wanted me to talk some sense into him," I said, almost robotic. "Jacob and I were friends before he started acting like a dumb shit and getting into trouble. She figured I could talk some sense into him, but that went out the door when I saw him being violent toward you."

Bella looked down, and then returned her gaze to my eyes.

Our very pregnant waitress returned with our beverages. Bella's hot chocolate had a heaping pile of whip cream on it, which made her smile and lick her pillowy lips. I thanked her for the Coke and she took our orders. When she disappeared to the kitchen, I continued my explanation to Bella.

"I'm really not a violent person, Bella. I just couldn't stand anything bad happening to you. Jacob should have never talked to you like that or touched you in the first place," I said, feeling like I was trying too hard to justify my actions.

"I appreciate what you did for me. I can't imagine what he would have done had you not shown up. He's . . . big. And I'm not. So, I'm really lucky you were there. Thank you," she said, her brown eyes sincere. It was easy to read her emotions just by looking at her face, which was kind of handy.

We ate our dinner while I asked her pretty much every generic question in the world. I was pretty sure I knew everything from her favorite color (blue) to her favorite philosopher (Socrates), and everything in between. It gave me leeway to surprise her with her favorite flowers (sunflowers, very unexpectedly to me) on Monday morning. I could tell she wasn't used to talking about herself so much, but my genuine interest in All Things Bella seemed to make her happy.

I paid the bill and left the pregnant waitress a generous tip. We were literally there for two hours, and I needed to get Bella home before sunset.

Bella told me to park around the corner so Charlie didn't see us, which made me laugh. I slowed to a stop and looked at her, saying, "I had a wonderful time with you today."

Bella blushed, her face letting me know the general direction of her thoughts. "So did I," she said. Her lips were absolutely intoxicating, and I wanted to feel them against mine so badly it hurt. She fiddled with a hole in her tattered jeans, seemingly nervous. I brushed her hair behind her ear and slightly tilted her face in my direction.

Bella looked like the most adorable deer in headlights, which made me suppress a laugh. I kissed the tip of her nose and then lightly kissed her lips, summing up her reaction. Her eyes were closed and she looked nervous but ready. I kissed her soft lips again, and she returned the gesture with a minute smack. It was short, sweet, and absolutely perfect. This was not the moment to shove my fucking tongue down her throat, that was for sure.

We smiled at each other, glad the pre-kiss awkwardness was over. We told each other goodnight and with that, Bella was out of my car and heading around the corner, back to her house.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **To be honest, this is a chapter I would skip if you really like Charlie. If you're looking for fluff, I would turn elsewhere. This chapter definitely touches on sensitive subjects, not unlike some of my other chapters, but this one is probably the most effed up. So, seriously, if you're fairly easily offended, please refrain from continuing.

As always, your support means the world to me. Thank you kindly for the reviews, adding my story to your favorites & story alerts, and thank you for reading to begin with. I'm thrilled to have you along my twisted little journey.

**Bella**

Charlie glanced over at me when I arrived home. I was soaked from the rain and had a giddy post-kiss-with-Edward-freaking-Cullen smile on my face. Charlie's eyes were glazed over and the coffee table next to the couch was covered with empty beer cans. I'd seen him have a beer or two during football games, but I never saw him _drunk_.

"Bella!" he slurred. "You're home! Where ya been?" he asked.

"I told you . . . La Push beach, remember?"

He burst out in a merry laugh. "Oh yeah," he said in between chuckles. "Forgot."

The drunkenness hit too close to home, and I marched up to my room to avoid it. I jumped onto my bed, forgetting about the newly drunken Charlie and recalling everything about my day with Edward.

Those lips . . . those eyes . . . that hair . . . fuck, Edward Cullen was _perfection_. I sank into my soft, purple comforter, thinking about his beautiful lips against mine. I was awkward and probably a terrible kisser, but everything about it just felt so _right_. It was like our lips were carved specifically for each other— they fit perfectly.

A sharp knock at the door interrupted my thoughts.

"Bella!" Charlie sputtered as he let himself in my room.

"Uh . . . yeah?" I responded, feeling dreadfully uncomfortable.

Charlie stumbled to my bed and plopped down, letting out a humongous sigh.

"It was so lonely today without you here," he said, making me even more uncomfortable. What the fuck was he thinking?

"Um, yeah . . . I think you might be a little drunk, Charlie. You better go to bed or something," I said, feeling slightly scared and small.

"Wha? Who ya think ya talkin' to, Bella? I'm your dad," he said, attempting to playfully nudge my arm but missing. His arm lingered around my shoulder and he suddenly rubbed my back.

My heart pounded in my chest. Charlie wouldn't hurt me, would he? He adopted me. He was the person in charge of my wellbeing. His hand wandered from my back to my breasts, and my breath stopped. There was no way I would let this happen to me.

"Get your fucking hand off me," I threatened menacingly, pushing his arm away. He smiled and grabbed my hip, then brushed his fingertips close to the area between my legs. I immediately regretted having ripped jeans as his fingers danced across the open skin from the holes in my jeans.

Charlie's fingertips felt like acid on my skin, burning away all the trust and compassion I previously had for him. I never had a reason to distrust him for multiple reasons: he was the chief of police, he passed the adoption screenings with flying colors, and he always seemed to be concerned with my wellbeing. My stomach turned as I willed myself to the present, willed myself to look into Charlie's drunken eyes and prevent what was likely on his mind. My heart pounded loudly as I pushed his arm off again, stood up, and backed into the corner of my room.

"What the fuck is _wrong_ with you?" I cried.

Charlie smiled malevolently as he took the steps necessary to stand right in front of me. He was fucking _relentless_. He looked down at my trembling body and slurred, "Come on, Bella. You know you want this." He reached toward me again, never faltering from his awful plan.

"You're fucking _sick_!" I screamed, pushing his adamant hand away before he could touch me again. He chuckled, as if he were playing some fucking perverted game with me. His amusement sickened and infuriated me. I refused to be the broken toy that everyone abused over and over again.

"You're so pretty," he said. His eager eyes scanned my entire body.

My eyes filled with hot tears and my stomach turned impossibly more than it already had. "I trusted you," I choked out. "You're a sick motherfucker, a fucking waste of human life." The tears finally streamed down my face as I spoke. He wiped my tears with his hand, which made me have to fight back my vomit.

"There, there," he said softly. Before I had a chance to react, his entire demeanor changed. He pinned me against the wall by my wrists and whispered venomously, "Don't you _ever_ fucking talk to me like that again, do you understand?" His furious eyes bore into mine.

I nodded tightly to distract him from what I was about to do. He was strong and held a good grip, but I still had access to my legs. With my entire strength and will, I forcefully kneed Charlie in the balls. He screamed in pain, immediately releasing my wrists to crawl in a fetal position and clutch his tainted package. He whimpered on the floor, looking as helpless as an infant. The power in the room shifted from him to me the moment I kneed his family jewels.

"Fuck you, Charlie," I hissed. I spat on his pain-ridden face and fled from the house as fast as my legs would take me.

I knew I should have headed straight for the police station. Anyone with even a hint of common sense would have done so. However, I was in a dilemma because Charlie was the chief of police, and policemen were immensely tight knit. They stuck together through all the fucked up situations they endured, and I was almost certain they would believe Charlie's word over my own. He would tell them I was looking for attention because I was adopted and I wished I lived with my birth parents. That was just one of the many excuses he could have fed them, and I was certain they'd believe anything he chose to say.

When I was far enough from the house to feel comfortable, I reached in my hoodie for my cell phone. I sat underneath a huge tree for shelter from the rain as I scanned through my call history. Luckily, not many people called me, and the only number that didn't have a matching name was the one I was looking for. I clicked on it, held the phone to my ear, and prayed Edward would answer.

**Edward**

Esme smiled warmly at me, scooping salad on her plate. She asked, "Are you sure you don't want any salad, dear? You have enough meatloaf and mashed potatoes on your plate for an entire army!" She laughed, knowing I wasn't one to eat my greens. I didn't really feel comfortable with the concept of eating shit that looked like leaves, so I made up for it by filling up on whatever else we were eating.

"Thanks mom, but no thanks," I mumbled with a mouth full of her delicious mashed potatoes. They were warm in my mouth and soaked with gravy, just the way I liked them.

"Chew your food before you speak, you little pig!" Alice squealed at me. I rolled my eyes playfully, then casually rubbed one eye with my middle finger.

Carlisle gave me a warning look. Apparently I wasn't so slick when it came to eye-rub-fuck-you's.

We were all eating at the dining room table, something rare that made Esme light up with delight. She was glowing as she watched us greedily shovel her culinary efforts into our mouths. Even ever-graceful Alice shoved humongous bites of food into her mouth, making humming noises from its delicious taste.

"Mom, this is so yummy!" Alice beamed, smiling at our mother gratefully.

"Yeah, mom. It really is," I chimed in.

Carlisle hummed in agreement, and Esme thanked us profusely.

My cell phone suddenly vibrated erratically in my pocket. I peeked at the screen and was surprised to see Bella's name on the caller I.D. I wanted to answer, but I didn't want to upset Esme since family meals were such a rarity in our house. I let it vibrate until the call went to voicemail, intending to call her back after dinner.

A minute later, my phone vibrated again. This time, it was a text message. I opened it promptly and read:

_Hey Edward, I'm sorry to bother you but something fucked up just happened and I need you. Is there any way you can pick me up?_

"Esme, I really need to get one of my friends right now. I'm very sorry to interrupt such a nice meal. It's really important that I help her, though." I blurted out quickly. I was so worried that my stomach ached, but eating too fast probably contributed to the pain.

Esme's brow furrowed. "Oh dear, who is it? Is everything okay?" she asked, clearly concerned.

"It's Bella. And I don't know, but she said something happened and I need to pick her up." The only thing my family knew about Bella was that she was new to Forks. I hadn't told them she was the one Jasper sexually assaulted. We never spoke about Jasper, and none of us ever wanted to know anything about the crime he committed. I knew it was unhealthy, but that's just the way it was.

"Go do what you need to do. I'll make sure to save the rest of your dinner," Esme said. It was nice to have such an understanding mother, and I didn't take it for granted.

"I hope your friend is okay. Please be safe," Carlisle chimed in.

I assured them I'd be fine as I left the dinner-filled table and headed outside to my car. I had another excuse to drive fast, and I would surly take advantage of it. Bella needed me, and I wanted to be there for her in a heartbeat.

The rain made the road incredibly slick, so my car was a little unsteady when I hit stoplights. I called Bella while I drove to find her whereabouts, which she had trouble explaining to me. Her voice was hoarse and panicked, which made me more even more concerned than I already was

Bella was huddled and shivering underneath a tree when I slowed to a stop. She looked miserable, and I was afraid to hear what happened to her. I jumped out of my car and helped her stand.

"Bella, what happened?" I breathed.

Her eyes were red and puffy and her body language was a million times different than it had been not thirty minutes earlier when I dropped her off. She peeked up at me, stood up, and threw her arms around me. Her face was buried on my shoulder as she silently sobbed. I rubbed her back soothingly, giving her time to calm down.

Minutes later, Bella released herself from our embrace and asked in an exhausted voice, "Can I come home with you? I can't be at _Charlie's_ anymore and I have nowhere else to go. I'm sure it's an intrusive question and you can feel free to say no."

"Of course you can," I replied. I figured she and Charlie had a huge fight because the way she said his name made it sound like she was repulsed by him. She would probably calm down at my house, call him, and go back home. It would be simple and I'd be happy to provide a safe haven for her, even if it was only temporary.

"You look freezing. Please, hop in," I said, opening the passenger door for her. She gratefully stepped in my Volvo and I cranked up the heat to warm her up.

"Thank you so much. You don't know how much this means to me," she said, her alluring eyes fixed on mine.

"Please. I'm just happy to be able to help you out." I paused, giving her some space. I didn't want to pry immediately.

I didn't get a chance to ask. As I backed up and sped down the road, Bella offered a sudden explanation for the situation.

"Edward," she started, her voice cracking. "I . . . I came home today to see Charlie drunk. He's never been drunk, at least not in front of me." She paused for a moment, and from the corner of my eye, I could see her eyes glistening with tears. Her voice grew harder to understand as she got more upset. She continued, "Edward . . . Charlie's a fucking pedophile. He tried to get in my pants tonight, he touched me. I kicked that motherfucker in the balls, and that's when I ran away and called you."

My veins boiled with anger as I thought about the chief touching Bella that way. How many fucked up things could happen to one person in such a short lifetime? I gripped my hands tightly on the steering wheel. Before I could respond to Bella, a brown flash of a deer flew in front of my car. My immediate reaction was to swerve out of the way, but the roads were too slippery, and I lost control. Bella screamed as the car spun around several times and finally slammed face-forward into a humongous tree.

**A/N:** Wouldn't it be fucked up if this was the very end of the story? Hah! Don't worry though, there's plenty more to go. And I apologize for all the angst this time around. I'll try to squeeze some fluff in soon to even it out. Thanks for sticking with me, if you are still reading this, and thanks for all the lovely support!


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Thanks for hanging in there after being left at such a shitty part last chapter. There's a couple things I'd like to note before I begin. First of all, this chapter is entirely BPOV. I know I've done it once before, but it sort of just worked out that way for this chapter as well. Again, EPOV will still continue in upcoming chapters.

Also, this chapter contains prescription pain medication use. If this offends you or triggers you to use, please refrain from reading this chapter.

Thanks for all your support, and please let me know what you think!

**Bella**

Everything was black.

From a distance, I heard my name spoken by an unfamiliar voice. It sounded distorted, like it was in a tunnel. The voice repeated my name, this time closer than it was before.

I opened my eyes to see nothing more than blurry surroundings. I blinked a few times, determined to focus my vision, and I was met with an unfamiliar room. My sight finally focused on a tall figure who I did not know, but his eyes were undeniably familiar. They were a magical shade of forest green with a subtle ring of gold around the iris. He had prominent cheek bones and sharp features. Just like Edward, he was undeniably handsome. The stranger spoke, "Bella, my name is Carlisle Cullen. I am a doctor, and this is my home. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

I assessed my bodily state and winced as an agonizing pain shot up my entire arm when I tried to move it. "My arm hurts like hell," I replied.

"Yes, I'm afraid you broke it in the accident," Carlisle said sadly, as if he had empathy for me even though I was a stranger to him.

"Accident?" I echoed, unsure of what he meant.

Carlisle's brow furrowed slightly. "Yes, you and Edward were in a car accident this evening. The concussion you experienced is likely giving you a fair amount of amnesia, but you should get your memory back soon." The way he spoke made me think of him as a walking, talking textbook.

"Shit, is Edward okay?" I asked, growing panicked. I didn't give a fuck about my memory. All I cared about was whether or not Edward was okay from the accident we were supposedly in.

Carlisle raised his hands, as if he had everything under control and I shouldn't have been worried. "Despite some very minor cuts and bruises, Edward is just fine. I'm afraid you got the worst of it. Which reminds me . . ." he trailed off for a moment, and then yelled toward the door, "Alice!"

"Coming!" a charming voice called back. I wasn't prepared for what I was about to see. A short, petite, absolutely gorgeous girl entered the room. Even though she simply walked in, her graceful movements reminded me of a ballerina. The pink dress she wore made my ballerina impression more legitimate. Her hair was short and midnight black. It appeared to be professionally done because the shiny strands were seamless. Her stunning face was filled with worry: her eyebrows were pinched together, her mouth was set in a tiny frown, and her blue eyes glistened with concern. _Jasper's blue eyes._ It was hard to fathom that a complete stranger held such worry for me. She looked up at Carlisle and asked in a soft voice, "Is everything okay, dad?"

"Yes, dear. Could you please retrieve Edward from his room? I'm sure he's been worried sick and would like to see Bella's improvement." Carlisle spoke in a calm yet authoritative voice. Alice quickly nodded and spun around to get Edward.

Carlisle turned to me and spoke, "Bella, I'm going to need to align the broken bone in your arm. It's not going to be pleasant, but I'll give you some pain medication and give it time to kick in before I start."

I nodded and silently grimaced at the thought of getting my bones forced back into place. I'd seen shit like that on TV and in movies, but I'd never experienced it in reality. All I knew was that it looked like it hurt like a son of a bitch, and even with the prospect of pain medication, I was worried.

Carlisle bent down and entered a combination in the black safe at his feet. He shuffled through bottles of pills that rattled when he moved them and retrieved a small bottle that held tiny, round, blue pills. I wasn't familiar with the pills in his hand. Renee had taken lortabs, so I ignorantly figured all pain medication was oval-shaped and contained the word "Watson" on the front.

Carlisle opened the bottle and retrieved one blue pill. He handed it to me with a small cup of water. I looked at the tiny pill, hoping its size belied its strength. Carlisle must have seen the concern on my face, because he said, "It's 30 milligrams of roxycodone. I'm certain it will be enough to dull the pain. The alignment won't be comfortable, but the medicine will relax you and ease the pain enough to where it will be much more tolerable."

I glanced at my pill once more, hoping Carlisle was right. I placed it on my tongue and gulped it down with my cup of water. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, so I finished the rest of the water in attempt to get rid of it.

"I'll see how you're feeling in about thirty minutes, and we'll go from there. Try to get some rest, and let me know if you need anything. I'll be right in the other room." Carlisle offered me a smile and headed out the door after I thanked him.

Right when Carlisle left, Edward entered the room. He sat on a chair next to my bed, and I studied his face. It was swollen where he had multiple bruises and cuts, but he appeared to be okay other than that. "I was really, really worried about you," he said. His eyes held a sadness that made my heart sink. It was incredibly hard to see him sad. Edward continued, "I can't believe so many shitty things could happen to such an amazing person, especially in _just one day_. I can't believe Charlie tried to do that to you."

I was confused. I really didn't know what he was talking about. First, I was in an accident I didn't remember, and now Charlie tried to do something to me? Maybe the accident really _did_ give me amnesia. Maybe I was just fucking crazy. Either way, I needed to know what Edward was talking about. "Edward, what did Charlie try to do to me?" I whispered in a horror-struck voice. I was afraid of what the answer was, but I needed to know.

Edward's eyes widened and grew impossibly sadder. "Fuck, your concussion . . . you don't remember," he stated, as if he were speaking to himself. His green eyes pierced mine as he spoke, "Bella, before we got in the car accident, Charlie tried to _fuck_ you."

My heart jumped from my stomach to my throat. I ached to wake up from this terrible, never-ending nightmare. I closed my eyes and tried to recall the events of my day. I remembered waking up and seeing that it was the fourteenth of February. I remembered walking to La Push and being threatened by Jacob. I remembered Edward saving me and taking me to Forks Diner. I remembered the magnificent kiss between Edward and me. And then there was nothing. _Fuck_. What the hell was this, some sort of selective amnesia?

I turned to Edward and said, "I don't remember."

Edward stood up and began to pace around the room. "The accident is a likely cause for your memory loss, but there's also the possibility of repression. Repression is where people take painful memories and force them into their unconscious mind so they don't have to face the torment. It's not something you choose to do, your brain just sort of packs the memory away. Sometimes people get hypnotized to reveal memories they've unknowingly repressed." He stopped pacing and glanced at me. "Either way, Bella, I really hope you can remember somehow. I want to put that motherfucker in jail, and I don't think it's possible without your testimony."

I shook my head. "I can't go to fucking court again. I just can't."

"Bella, Charlie can't get away with that shit! He's a _cop_ for Christ's sake! He's supposed to _help_ people, not _hurt_ them!" Edward spoke animatedly with his hands moving up and down to emphasize every word as he shook with anger.

"I don't know how to remember," I said sadly.

Edward let out a long breath and calmed himself down. He ran his hands through his messy bronze hair and continued, "It's okay. We can do this. Now, what's the last thing you remember from earlier today?"

My cheeks grew red as I thought of my last memory. I whispered, "The . . . kiss," I said. He glanced at me thoughtfully and grinned.

"That's good!" he said. "That's close. Try to keep going. Do you remember getting out of my car and walking to your house?"

I silently racked my brain for the missing pieces. I put myself in Edward's car, relived the kiss, and . . . my mind went blank. It was incredibly frustrating to not be able to obtain my own fucking memory. I couldn't remember anything about Charlie or even the car accident. I looked at Edward and told him I didn't remember anything after we kissed and he dropped me off. I was defeated. I was hopeless. I was a defeated, hopeless wreck.

He looked at me, pleading, "Just _try_. _Please_ try. I dropped you off, and . . ." he waved his hand as if he wanted me to finish his sentence.

But I couldn't finish his sentence. A sudden wave of euphoria undulated through my entire body, the pain in my arm grew numb, and I felt more amazing than I ever felt in my entire life. I closed my eyes and savored the new, incredible feeling.

Edward must have seen the smile dancing across my lips, because he asked me, "What?"

I swiftly replied, "Oh, nothing. I just . . . I never took pain medicine before, and your dad gave me something called a roxy?" My last word was a question because I forgot what it was called.

Edward's eyes lit up. "No shit? Where did he put the rest of them?" He glanced around the room, spotting the small pill bottle on top of the safe. Carlisle must have left them out in case I needed more. Edward greedily grabbed the bottle and stuffed three in his mouth without water. I scrunched my nose at the sight of him chewing the pills up and swallowing them. Swallowing the pill whole gave me a bitter taste in my mouth, and I couldn't imagine what three pills would taste like chewed up.

Edward spotted my nose-scrunch and explained, "They work better when you chew 'em."

I offered a simple, "Ah."

Edward smiled at me. "So you feel good, huh?"

"I feel great," I said, meaning every single word.

- - - - -

Carlisle entered the room, and I prepared for the moment I was dreading.

"How are you feeling?" Carlisle asked, and I heard the true doctor in his voice.

"I'm okay," I replied, trying to prepare myself for the pain.

Edward moved his chair to the side of my bed. "I'll be right here the whole time." He held my hand and I squeezed his back in anticipation.

Carlisle stood next to me, looking down with an expressionless face. I imagined that was what he had to do as a doctor: emotionally detach himself from the patient so he didn't go crazy at his job. "You ready, Bella?"

I clenched my teeth, and let out a small, "Ready."

Carlisle handed me a cloth and told me to bite down on it. I knew it was so I wouldn't bite through my tongue when he aligned the bone in my broken arm. I bit down on the cloth hard and squeezed Edward's hand as tight as I could.

"I'm going to go on the count of three," Carlisle said. Seconds passed, even though it felt like years. He began, "One . . .

"Two.

"Three."

Carlisle grabbed my arm and pushed the bone back into place. There was a loud snapping sound, and the pain was so intense that my vision went completely white. It was as if I were looking at an Alaskan snowstorm on the brightest day of summer.

I must have passed out, because I awoke to Edward's musical voice calling my name. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Edward and Carlisle standing above me. My arm had a new cast around it, and it felt all sweaty in its new prison. Edward continued speaking, "Bella? Bella? Are you okay?"

"I think I'll live," I replied in a voice so weak I could barely even hear it.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Bella, I'm sure it's probably too soon for you to answer, but I just wanted you to know that you're very welcome to stay with us as long as you'd like. This room you've been in is our guest room, and we'd be more than happy to have you here. I know things are a little messy with your living situation right now, and we don't want to pressure you into anything when you're not ready; but you should know that our home is your home."

I gave him the strongest smile I could muster in my exhaustion before murmuring, "Thank you, Carlisle," and drifting off to sleep.

- - - - -

My grandmother smiled at me. She was beautiful and glowing. Her wrinkled face held the wisdom of many accomplished lifetimes on earth. I knew she was dead, but I found comfort instead of fear in her presence. She sat at the foot of my bed and beamed at me with pearly teeth.

"Grandma, I've missed you so much," I said as tears filled my eyes.

She stood up and the radiating light formed a halo around her body. Even though she had no wings, she reminded me of an angel.

My grandmother bent down to whisper in my ear, "Bella, everything is going to be okay."

I woke up in the Cullen's guest room, half-expecting to still see my grandmother by my side. The guest room I lied in was dark with the exception of faint moonlight seeping in from a small window. Even though I was warm underneath thick blankets, I shivered as if I were cold. It almost felt like I wasn't alone in the isolated guest room, though I knew I was.

I repeated my grandmother's words in my head over and over again. I knew it was only a dream, but I certainly hoped she was right.

**A/N:** I'm hoping the last part of this chapter with Bella's grandmother didn't seem like I'm trying to copy SM in New Moon. In fact, I really didn't even plan on having anything like it in this chapter. However, I had a hard day today and really missed my grandma. She passed away a little over 10 years ago and I still miss her dearly. I added the part about Bella's grandma as a small tribute to my own. Anyway, I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: Hey everyone. Will you please let me know what days are good for you when I post new chapters? I was thinking about making an update schedule. I'm not positive about it, but if it's something that would be beneficial to my readers, I'm definitely going to consider it. Just let me know under either the review section or by messaging me. Also, let me know what you think! I'd love to hear more thoughts about this story.

**Edward**

Bella was sound asleep in the guest room, but the rest of us were restless. We sat in the living room while commercials from the TV quietly filled our unconsciousness with advertisements. The fireplace contained a roaring fire that warmed the room and provided flickering light that danced across our skin.

The smell from the fire reminded me of when I was a kid and we would go camping as a family. In my mind, a five-year old Alice screeched and blew out a marshmallow she accidentally set on fire. "I ruined it!" she pouted. She would spend the longest time roasting her marshmallows, only emitting them from the flames when they were perfectly golden brown.

My family sat around a campfire and munched on our S'mores. Young Jasper had chocolate and marshmallow on the corners of his mouth as he said, "Dad, when are you going to tell us a ghost story?"

I joined in. "Yeah! Ghost story! Ghost story!"

Carlisle hesitated and said, "Oh, I don't know guys. Your sister is a little too young for that."

Alice crossed her arms and cried, "Am not!"

Carlisle smiled and patted Alice on the back. "If you say so," he said. Esme giggled as me, Jasper, and Alice looked up at our father eagerly. He shined a small, black flashlight on his face and began:

"One dark night, a young couple was driving down a twisted road. Actually, it wasn't too far from this campground. They were heading home from a camping trip, and they were exhausted. It was midnight and the moon was full." He paused for a moment. Even though he attempted to use a soft, creepy voice, it still sounded like what I referred to as his "doctor voice." It was slightly dry and informative, the voice he used when he was talking to patients at work. I doubted he knew he used it at around us, too.

Carlisle continued, "The car started losing its power and eventually slowed to a complete stop. The girl was mad at her boyfriend for letting them run out of gas, and he stormed out of the car to go find help. He left her alone in the middle of nowhere, waiting impatiently for him to return.

"The girl started to worry after the boy was gone for hours. The wind howled outside their car, and she heard soft pattering on the roof of the car—indicating that it was beginning to rain. She couldn't bear to think of him all alone in the bad weather, so she decided to go look for him."

Carlisle lowered his voice to a whisper and spoke slowly, "When the girl exited the car, she was surprised to see it wasn't raining. The dripping on her car was actually blood coming out of her boyfriend's decapitated head that was tied on a tree above the car."

Alice's face grew pale and her lip trembled. Jasper scoffed and said, "Oh, come on! _Everyone_ knows that one! It's not even real! Tell us something cool, like someone really dying at the hospital! You see that all the time at work."

"That's enough, Jasper," Carlisle said.

Esme's voice startled me back to the present, back to the living room and the inevitable conversation we were about to have. She spoke in a low voice, "What did you want to talk to us about, Edward?"

Esme, Alice, and Carlisle all stared at me expectantly.

When I didn't answer, Carlisle spoke. "What is it, son?" His voice was full of concern rather than annoyance, which was relieving.

"It's not exactly easy to talk about," I said. Even though the guest room was far from the living room, I spoke in a hushed voice. I didn't want there to be even a slight possibility of Bella waking up and being able to hear us. I continued, "I mean, it's something that involves Jasper, and you all know how we are about that subject."

Alice gazed toward the fire, lost in thought. Esme and Carlisle looked at each other and turned their attention back to me. Esme whispered, "I know we don't talk about it, honey. But even though he did a horrible thing that makes me sick, he's still my son. Is that what this is about, us not acknowledging your brother?" Her eyes held a great amount of sadness as she spoke, though there were no tears.

"No, that's not what this is about," I said. Everyone was silent. The TV droned on about a tomato planter as the fire crackled and sputtered. The flames eagerly licked the wood as the coals underneath glowed orange and red.

"What's going on, Edward?" Alice asked, suddenly joining the conversation.

I sighed and began, "Look, I know we don't talk about this shit, like, at all. But there is something you need to know because it pertains to all of us. Bella is the girl that Jasper raped in Las Vegas."

Three jaws dropped to the floor in unison. It would have been comedic if it weren't for the subject matter.

Minutes passed.

Esme was the first to speak. "Is that . . . are you . . . that isn't a lie?"

"It's one hundred percent true. I guarantee it. She didn't know he was related to me until she found out my last name. It was a nightmare. I didn't know, of course, until she said something. She's been through a lot, and we owe her a lot more than a place to stay." When I spoke, Alice stared off into space with a strange look on her face. It seemed like she was pushing herself into an alternate reality, just like we all did with the mention of Jasper.

"What are the odds?" Esme asked. She was getting upset. Tears built up in her eyes. I knew she hated thinking of what her son did. We all knew she raised Jasper better than that.

"I don't know. I really don't. This whole situation is really awful." I had a hard time keeping my voice steady. My mother didn't cry often, but when she did, it hurt all of us.

"She lived in Las Vegas, then?" Carlisle asked. Alice remained detached as we all spoke.

I replied, "Yeah. The _pedophile_ adopted her, so she moved from Vegas to here."

"Talk about an un-warm welcome." Carlisle sighed. "Her memory should come back regarding the incident with Chief Swan. If it doesn't, she will probably need to go to therapy. Amnesia from concussions doesn't last long. Repression would be likely the cause of her memory loss."

"That's what I told her," I said.

"You told her to go to therapy?" Carlisle asked me, surprised.

"No, no. I told her she might have repressed the memory." I said.

Carlisle continued, "Well, now that I'm aware of her past with Jasper, going to therapy wouldn't be a bad idea anyway. I think she could really benefit from it. We don't want to be too hasty about suggesting it, though. She's had a rough day to say the least."

"Tell me about it," I said.

I jumped when I heard Alice's tiny voice, "I'm going to bed." She spoke as if she was still detached from her body. She jumped up from the couch, but I blocked her exit.

"Please, Alice. You need to stay. We all need to face this. I know you don't want to. Trust me, I don't want to either. But listen, Bella means a lot to me. So don't hide from it right now. Please?" It was the most begging I could handle, though in the back of my mind, I knew it would be proven futile.

"There's nothing more to talk about," Alice said in a monotone voice. "Jasper raped your friend, and now she might be living with us. Every time I look at her, I'll think of him and what he did."

That set me off. I loved my little sister, but she was crossing a huge line. "Oh, that's fucking great, Al. You're thinking of yourself, as usual, but you're not seeing the whole picture. Don't you understand? Bella will think about how Jasper raped her every time she looks at _any of us_! She doesn't have a place to stay because the guy that adopted her is a baby fucker! So, excuse her for barging in on your precious little life where you pretend everything is fucking peachy!"

Esme's tears continued to fall down her face, Alice huffed and glared at me, and Carlisle warned me with a mere disapproving, "Edward."

I turned to Carlisle and continued my rant. "Look, I am not going to walk on eggshells anymore! We've been doing it for four years, and it does nothing but delay the pain! We need to face the pain and we need to heal. We all deserve to heal, and Bella deserves to heal. She's not going to get any better if we all pretend everything's just great!"

Carlisle lifted his finger to his mouth to hush me. He spoke evenly, "Edward, I agree with you. However, we can't go around being in constant misery and talk about Jasper nonstop either. We need a healthy balance where all of us acknowledge the assault, get past it as a group, and support each other. Let's not forget that Bella might not even choose to stay with us."

I took a few deep breaths in attempt to calm down. "Forgive me. I'm just really shaken up over this whole ordeal." I turned to Alice specifically so she knew I was mainly referring to her.

Alice's lip trembled and she embraced me in the world's biggest hug. "I'm really sorry. I wasn't thinking clearly. You know how it is with Jasper and all. I promise I will be supportive of Bella. She deserves our support."

"Thank you," I whispered, rubbing her shoulders and slowly releasing myself from her embrace.

- - - - -

Faint morning light trickled through my room window. Birds sang outside, happy to be alive. The smell of bacon trickled up to my room from the kitchen. Considering the early hour, Esme must have not slept well, either. Nightmares kept me awake, and I worried about Bella every moment I wasn't asleep. I yawned, stretched, and headed downstairs; following the smell of breakfast.

To my surprise, Esme and Bella were cooking up a storm in the kitchen. It was as if Bella didn't have a broken arm by the way she moved around the kitchen helping Esme cook.

Esme turned her attention to me and said cheerfully, "Good morning, dear!"

"Morning," I replied. Bella grinned at me as she dipped a slice of bread in raw eggs with her good arm.

"We're making bacon and french toast," Bella said shyly. It took me a minute to let the sight of Bella and my mother bonding soak in. It was completely surreal.

"You like french toast, don't you?" Esme asked as Bella handed her the egg-soaked bread to put on the stove.

"Of course. Are you sure you're well enough to cook though?" I asked, eyeing Bella.

Bella turned to me, her eyes lighting up. "Nothing could stop me from cooking. It's my passion."

Esme chuckled. "I couldn't convince her to relax. Both of us were up early, and she insisted on helping when I mentioned making breakfast." She lovingly rubbed Bella's back, and I saw Esme's maternal instincts kick in instantly. It was like Bella was one her children, and it gave me hope for the near future.

**Bella**

I woke up right before the sun peeked over the horizon. I wasn't sure what time it was, but I was certain it was early as hell. I noticed a flat-screen TV in the room, and there was a remote conveniently placed on my nightstand. I grabbed it with my good arm and pressed the power button.

Infomercials polluted the early morning television schedule, but I stopped on a nature show and zoned out. It showed a mother cheetah caring for her cubs. She was in charge of raising them, hunting for them and feeding them, and keeping them safe. The poor thing had a lot of responsibility, and she didn't have help from anyone. It was rare for all her cubs to make it to adulthood in such dire circumstances. My heart ached for the mother cheetah.

A beautiful black and white cat peeked its head in my room, letting out a soft _mew_! The darling creature jumped on my bed, curling up next to me.

"Aww, did you come to watch the cheetah show with me?" I asked, petting the cat behind its ears. It purred in response, making its whole body rumble with contentment.

A pleasant female voice startled me out of my kitty conversation. "Knock, knock!"

A woman peeked her head in my room, and she was absolutely gorgeous. She had wavy caramel-colored hair and a face so classically beautiful that it reminded me of a movie star from the forties. I felt so out of place. Even the damn _cat _was attractive in this family.

"Hi sweetie. I'm Edward's mother, Esme. I see you've met Zorro." She pointed to the black and white cat on my lap. His bright yellow eyes looked up at me, and they appeared to contain a black mask from the pattern on his fur. Zorro was a perfect name for him.

"Yeah, he just hopped up here a minute ago. I love kitties," I said. I had a cat when I was young, but Renee gave it away because Phil was allergic. My heart was broken for the little friend I made that had been prematurely torn from me, and I had a soft spot for cats ever since.

I mentally slapped myself, realizing Zorro distracted me from being polite to Esme. "Oh geez, where are my manners? It's really nice to meet you, Mrs. Cullen." I held out my good hand, but she took me in for a hug instead.

"You can call me Esme, dear," she said, holding the embrace for a moment before she let go. "Are you hungry? I know it's early, but since both of us are awake I figured I could whip something up."

"Actually, I'm kind of starving," I said. "But even though I'm one-armed, I insist on helping."

Esme smiled, "You should certainly rest instead, dear."

"Oh, I've gotten plenty of rest." _Thanks to the amazing painkiller_. "Besides, I really love cooking."

"You and I both!" Esme said, still smiling at me. "Well, let's head to the kitchen. I think Zorro will be thrilled to have an early breakfast. He gets wet food in the mornings, and he cries for it until we wake up." She gently lifted Zorro from my bed and he willingly grasped her shoulder. I followed Esme's lead to the ridiculously humongous Cullen kitchen. It was like a dream come true for a culinary nerd such as myself.

Esme lowered Zorro from her shoulder and scraped a new can of wet food in his blue dish. He gobbled it down like it was the last meal he'd ever eat, and it was pretty fucking adorable.

Esme and I made small talk while we made breakfast together. She didn't ask me anything personal, and for that I was grateful. While I was dipping the bread in eggs, Edward entered the kitchen; making my heart beat involuntarily fast. He had ridiculously messy bed head and he looked taken aback at the sight of me cooking with his mother.

Carlisle and Alice drifted into the kitchen after a few minutes, probably waking up from the sound of the sizzling bacon and conversation between Esme, Edward, and me. Alice looked exceptionally beautiful for just waking up. She wore hot pink lacey pajamas and her hair was flawless, like she had already styled it.

When breakfast was ready, Esme insisted for me to sit down while she dished up our plates. My stomach growled in anticipation, just imagining the syrupy French toast in my mouth. I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten anything.

Esme poured me a glass of freshly-squeezed orange juice and put a heaping plate of french toast and bacon right in front of me. When everyone had their plates, we all began eating. I figured I should tell them what I needed to say while they were all present.

I gulped down a bite of deliciously soggy french toast and said, "I just wanted to say that I accept the proposal given to me yesterday evening. If it's still okay with you guys, I'd like to live here."

To my surprise, four beautiful faces beamed at me.

"Of course it's okay. We'd love for you to stay here," Esme said.

"Absolutely," Carlisle added.

"It will be wonderful to have you here," Edward pitched in.

"Yes, I'm really glad you've decided to stay," Alice said.

Even though there was a fucked up past between Jasper and I, I felt at home with his family. And it felt more amazing than anything I could ever describe.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Time for chapter Lucky 13! Hopefully it will live up to its name. ;) It's BPOV only, just so you know. Reviews are love.

**Bella**

Everything was happening so fast that it all seemed to blur together, making my thoughts muddled and my nights sleepless. I was still trying to get over the fact that I'd made amends with Edward so swift and easily. Most people—normal people—wouldn't even give Edward a chance whatsoever. I was so quick to get over the fact that he was related to the man that raped me. It made me second-guess my sanity, but in the end; I felt _more_ insane when I attempted to shun him from my life. Getting past the Jasper barrier was the best decision I'd made in a long time.

I still had no memory of what Charlie tried to do to me or the car accident. Alice had insisted on signing my cast, which ended up being much more than just her signature. Little smiley faces and flowers graced the entirety of my cast. Alice used colored permanent markers to "liven it up." It was pretty much impossible to be in a bad mood around the beautiful, cheerful girl.

To top off my crazy decisions and amnesia, I had officially agreed to live with the Cullens—not that I really had any other residential options. I wasn't sure if the roxicodone had a part in my decision-making, but I thought I felt sober enough when I made the choice to live with them. I was pleasantly surprised when I realized how comfortable I was at their house. It actually felt like a home, and they treated me like family. In fact, Esme and Alice surprised me with a shopping trip Monday afternoon. I had absolutely nothing but the clothes on my back, so I was very grateful for their gesture. It was a dream come true for Alice: skipping school on a Monday to go shopping for clothes. She literally _danced_ to Esme's SUV.

I tried to pick out the cheapest outfits in the store, but they both insisted on buying me the nicest things. Alice squealed with delight every time she found something she thought would look good on me. Unfortunately, she picked out the most girly clothes on the planet, and I didn't have the heart to reject them. I managed to grab a few things that were more "me," such as a new grey hoodie and faded jeans with rhinestone skulls on the back pockets.

I cringed when the total lit up on the cash register. I tried to offer to pay them back when I had a job, but—of course—they wouldn't even consider it. I tried to make myself feel better by thinking about how rich they were, but I still felt bad having them buy all the clothes for me.

Esme insisted on stopping at a pharmacy on the way home. "You need the basics, sweetie. I want you to feel as comfortable and at home as possible. I can't imagine you feeling very comfortable without even having a toothbrush." Her voice was so caring and motherly. It made me wish I had a mother like her.

I knew she was right. I really did need basic toiletries.

"Thank you, Esme. You're incredibly kind." I said.

Alice grabbed a shopping cart in front of CVS and twirled around the isles, recommending certain brands. I really wanted to choose the cheapest shit, especially after the clothing store; but they both insisted on buying me the very best.

Within thirty minutes, the shopping cart was halfway full. It consisted of Bed Head hair products, a toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, mouthwash, a purple hair brush, shaving cream, razors, deodorant, body wash, tampons, face cleanser, and some pastel pink nail polish Alice insisted on getting for me. As we approached the last aisle, I silently grimaced.

"Oh, I really don't even wear much makeup. I really have enough stuff to get by now." I insisted truthfully.

"Bella, don't be silly! Every girl loves makeup. Just let us get you some essentials here until we go to MAC." Alice said.

"MAC, as in, the computer place?" I asked, perplexed.

Alice giggled. "No . . . MAC, the cosmetics store. It's like, _the best_ makeup. I can't even describe it to you. The eyeshadows are gorgeous and incredibly pigmented! We'll have to go sometime soon. You'd love it!" She squealed.

I blushed at my lack of makeup knowledge. I confused a makeup store with a fucking computer store, and I had absolutely no idea what a pigmented eyeshadow was. I was sure I'd find out soon enough though.

Alice twirled through the aisle and placed several items in the cart. "Trust me, these colors will look great on you." She said cheerfully.

I cringed once again when the cashier announced the total. I felt awful that two people that were pretty much strangers to me were spending so much money to make me comfortable. I silently vowed to pay them back somehow.

When we returned to the house with countless shopping bags, there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. With further inquiry, I learned that Carlisle purchased a rent-a-car for Edward so he didn't have to take the bus to school. It was a bright yellow BMW, and it appeared to be brand new. I thought it was a bit much. After all, I took the bus to and from school daily with no complaints whatsoever.

I felt differently about the rent-a-car situation on the way to school Tuesday morning. Edward was driving, and Alice let me sit in the front passenger seat. It was definitely a zillion times better than riding the bus. It had a working heater, an amazing stereo system, and the most comfortable leather seats known to man. I was in heaven.

- - -

After school, Edward and I relaxed in the gigantic living room. We sat across from each

other on different couches, reminiscing about the day.

"What the hell was Stanley wearing today?" Edward asked me, sipping his Coke.

I knew exactly what he was referring to. Jessica had been dressing even more skanky than usual after the dance, probably in an attempt to get Mike to bang her. I didn't know about Mike, but every other human with a penis was staring at Jessica's very prominent ass cheeks hanging out of her booty shorts. I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, she's definitely . . . something else."

"Something else of a slut," Edward scoffed. "That was definitely _not _something I wanted to see."

I silently squealed over the fact that Edward was not interested in Jessica's ass. "I wasn't too keen on seeing her ass cheeks either," I replied.

We were interrupted by the familiar sound of a car pulling up the gravel driveway. Edward and I were the only ones home, so I figured it must have been one of his family members. With curiosity pumping through my veins, I peeked out the window to see who it was.

My heart stopped.

The familiar russet-skinned boy from La Push slammed the door of an old Chevrolet truck. The red paint was so decrepit that it was flaking off in random patches. Jacob Black had a smirk on his face as three more boys with similar skin tones protruded from the truck. The three unfamiliar guys towered over Jacob and had muscles that blew his out of the water.

Edward immediately noticed my horror-struck face. It didn't take him long to glance out the window and figure out what was going on. Jacob must have served revenge on an ice-cold dish, and he wasn't fucking around.

Edward grabbed my waist and whispered strictly, "Get the fuck down!" He guided me away from the window. My heart raced uncontrollably as I noticed his fear-ridden face. He continued, "Bella, you have to hide. This is _not_ a joke." He guided me across the kitchen to a door that led to the basement.

As we headed down the stairs to the basement, someone banged on the front door. A deep, furious voice threatened, "I know you're in there, Cullen. Open the fuck up." I winched at the sound of the doorknob rattling.

The basement was dark and cold. There was a bulky water heater at the left side of the room that appeared to have a small leak. A washer and dryer sat in the center of the room against the wall. Freshly folded towels sat atop the dryer. On the right side of the room, there were shelves containing cleaning products and random items for the house. One of the shelves contained a medium-sized storage cabinet at the bottom.

As the rattling of the front door became fiercer, Edward opened the storage cabinet and motioned for me to get inside of it. It wasn't big enough for two people, so I looked at him in confusion.

"Please just get in. And don't make a sound. Try to breathe as quietly as possible. I fucking swear I won't let them lay a finger on you," Edward said with an exasperated voice.

I trembled slightly, my heart still racing inside my chest. "Wh-what about you?" I asked, though I was afraid of what he might say. He said that I had to hide, but he never mentioned hiding with me.

"I'll take care of myself. But I really need you to get in right now. There's no more time to talk. Remember— don't make a sound. And stay still."

Edward helped me crawl into the storage cabinet and shut the door when I was inside. It was pitch black and smelled like dust. I imagined being blind was exactly like being in that cabinet. Though I couldn't see anything, the rest of my senses were working twice as well. I could hear Edward rummage through the shelves above me before he ran up the basement staircase.

My breath hitched as I heard the rattling doorknob and imagined Edward facing four humongous gangsters seeking revenge. I wished I had my cell phone in my pocket so I could call 911 and have them send help. My pockets were empty, so all I could do was sit in the pitch black cabinet and hope for the best.

The rattling doorknob suddenly turned to a terrifying sound of someone kicking the door. _Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang._ There was a sudden cracking noise, which was followed by the door being successfully kicked in.

A very pissed off Jacob spoke, "Hey, _motherfucker_. You want to show my friends how fucking tough you are?" My heart jumped in my throat as I feared for Edward's safety. Edward might have been a lot stronger than Jacob, but now there were four huge dudes against one average guy. I racked my brain for a solution to this dreadful situation.

"Jacob. Nice to see you again," Edward said sarcastically.

"Where's your little fucking girlfriend? You know, the little bitch that had no business in La Push?" Jacob asked. My heart thumped erratically in my chest.

"She's not here." Edward said flatly.

It wasn't the time to get hyped up over such a thing, but I couldn't help but notice that Edward did not deny me being his girlfriend. Butterflies made their way to my stomach, which made me want to vomit. My emotions were all over the place.

"And why do I find that hard to believe?" Jacob asked menacingly.

"You tell me." Edward shot back darkly.

"If I find out she's here, I'll break every fucking single bone in your body. Got it?" Jacob hissed.

"She . . . is . . . not . . . here." Edward whispered slowly.

"Whatever. I don't give a shit about her, anyway. I think you and I have unfinished business." Jacob said. I felt like I was in a never-ending horror movie.

"If it's between you and I, what are your _friends_ doing here?" Edward asked.

Jacob laughed harshly. "You didn't think I'd come unprepared, did you?"

Edward was silent.

Jacob was silent.

I could hear my heart beating. I hoped no one else could.

Finally, Edward spoke mockingly. "And you thought I'd be unprepared?"

Jacob did not get a chance to answer because the loud sound of a gunshot reverberated throughout the entire house.

**A/N:** Yeah, another really humongous cliffhanger. If it makes it any better, I will have chapter 14 up in a matter of hours. So, if you want to know what happens, stay tuned.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: **Here's a quickie for all of you lovely people. EPOV only. Thanks for reading! =]

**Edward**

The funny thing about having a gun is that the toughest guys in the world aren't tough anymore in comparison. When I shot the floor next to Jacob, the four idiots ran from the house like it was on fire. I kind of wished I would have shot him. Not killed him, just shot him. Hit him in the kneecap so he'd think twice before showing up with three other pricks demanding to know whether or not Bella was there.

Red and blue lights illuminated the room through the windows as a police car pulled up the driveway. I called the cops immediately after the La Push gang left so I could file an incident report. Carlisle and Esme insisted on coming home from work immediately, and they were planning on picking up Alice from her friend's house on the way. They always worried so much. Gun shot, schmun shot. It wasn't like a lost a limb or something.

A red-haired cop with a beer belly walked up to the open gap where the front door used to be. The cracked door lied on the ground from when Jacob and his friends kicked it in. I introduced myself to the cop and described the situation in detail. He took pictures of the broken door and the bullet hole in the floor while I filled out an incident report. I knew exactly who the culprits were: Jacob Black, Sam Uley, Quil Ateara, and Embry Call.

Even though I found it pathetic to have just one cop show up for a pretty messed up situation, I was grateful it wasn't Chief Swan. I figured he'd be taking time off or some shit, but I was still worried about him being the cop on duty. I supposed the chief of police had better things to do. Like teenage girls.

Carlisle, Esme, and Alice rushed through the nonexistent door when I was just about done writing the report. Esme threw her arms around Bella, then around me.

"I'm so glad you two are okay," she said, sounding exhausted. "You don't know how worried I was!"

"Aw, mom. I told you everything was fine. I had it under control." I said. I hated when she got all mushy about shit.

"Mom _was_ really worried. I had to hear about it the whole way here. I knew you'd be okay, though. No one messes with my brother and gets away with it." Alice said as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Well, technically they _did_ get away with it." I smiled as I heard Bella suppress a laugh with a cough. I was glad she could already find humor in the situation.

I scribbled down the last sentence of the incident report, making myself sound like a real fucking hero.

The policeman took my report and the camera before he left. I had a funny feeling that the incident report business was a complete waste of time. Jacob's father, Billy Black, used to be a cop and was paralyzed in the line of duty. Jacob could pretty much kill someone and not be punished just because of who his father was. Cops were very protective over their kind, and their kind's children. I wasn't so sure about Sam, Quil, and Embry; but I was fairly certain Billy could pull some strings to leave them off the hook as well.

Carlisle headed to the store to purchase a new door while Esme put a kettle on the stove. She always drank tea when she was in a stressful situation. Somehow, Esme conned Alice and Bella into having a cup with her. I sat at the dining room table with three tea-sipping ladies.

"I wasn't aware we were having a tea party tonight. I would have brought the crumpets if I would have known!" I said with a grin.

Alice rolled her eyes. "You're such a smartass, Edward."

Esme sipped her tea with a contemplative look on her face. She didn't seem to notice anything we said. If she did, she hid it well.

Bella took a big sip of tea and said, "Wow Esme, this is really good. What kind is it?"

"Jasmine Dragon tea. I picked it up from the market the other day. I'm glad you like it, dear." Esme absentmindedly rubbed the side of her teacup as she spoke.

Alice turned to me and said, "Edward, why was Jacob after you? Did something happen between you two?"

I told her the story of how Jacob threatened Bella in La Push, which made Bella shift uncomfortably in her chair.

"I hate those guys. I don't understand why any of them have to be all territorial. Jake was never like that until he started rolling with those jerks." She sighed and paused for a moment before continuing. "It's just not fair. They can get away with anything just because of who Jake's father is. Doesn't Billy understand his son is in a _gang_?"

"He knows full well about the gang. Hell, he'd probably join it too if he could." I had no remorse for Billy. He used to be a good guy just like Jacob, and they both turned into scumbags after he got paralyzed. They were bitter because a criminal from Forks, James, had shot Billy at a bank robbery gone awry. The bullet hit Billy's spine, and he was paralyzed from the waist down. They associated James with Forks and became territorial about La Push ever since. None of them liked it when anyone from Forks went to La Push, and that was how my friendship with Jacob deteriorated. Well, that and Jacob's newfound gang association.

"Ugh, that's just ridiculous. Billy should be a role model for Jacob, not some sort of sick enabler." Alice scowled as she spoke.

"Tell me about it," I replied.

Bella remained silent and uncomfortable, so I decided to change the subject.

"Has anyone seen Zorro lately? I don't want him to sneak out since we are lacking a front door at the moment." I said.

Alice replied, "I already shut him in my room with food, water, and his litter box."

"Oh, okay," I said. Of course she already took care of it. Alice was always on top of shit.

- - - - -

Carlisle returned with a new door. It was huge, thick, and had more locks than was absolutely necessary. Everyone sat in the living room as he installed it.

When the new door was successfully installed, the girls began cooking dinner. I watched in amusement as Bella stirred, chopped, and boiled her way through the kitchen— one-armed, nonetheless. She truly _was_ passionate about cooking. Well, you know what they say: The key to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Regardless of her amazing cooking skills, I knew full well that the key to my heart was not obtained through my stomach. The key to my heart lied within Bella Swan.

**A/N:** So, that was incredibly short, I know. But I felt too bad about the cliffie in 13, so I wanted to have _something_ for you guys. I promise to have more for the next chapter.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **This chapter is an important step for Bella, and I wanted it to be as accurate as possible. I had to whip out my DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders, A.K.A. The Bible for Psychologists). I did my best, but I'm certain the medical terminology isn't perfect; so try not to be too hard on me.

I really hope you all enjoy this chapter, and I'd love to hear your thoughts! BTW, this chapter is BPOV only. Thanks for reading!

**Bella **

I had never been to therapy before, and I was really fucking nervous.

I exhaled loudly before Edward held the office door open for me. A tiny bell attached to the door handle signified our arrival. The tart aroma of coffee filled the room and tempted my nostrils. A blonde receptionist typed furiously on her computer, not even looking up when we entered the room.

Attempting to put a brave face on in my absolute nervousness, I held my head high and approached the busy receptionist. It took her a few moments and a sigh from Edward before she finally looked up at me. She was young, probably no older than nineteen or twenty. Her humongous blue eyes were framed with black eyeliner and mascara. Her ivory skin was absolutely flawless and contained a natural flush. Her purple scrubs couldn't even hinder her beauty one bit.

The receptionist smiled at me and said, "How can I help you, sweetie?"

"I'm here for Dr. Gerandy." I replied nervously. Talking to someone a million times more attractive than me, being in the presence of Edward, and going to therapy for the first time were all contributors to my uneasiness.

She turned to her computer to check something and looked back at me. "You must be Isabella," she cheerfully exclaimed.

"That's me," I said with a small smile.

"It looks like it's your first visit, so I'm going to need you to fill out some paperwork for me. While I get your paperwork together, please sign in right here." She pointed to a nearly empty sign-in form, and I scrawled my name in the appropriate box. The pretty receptionist pulled some papers out from a filing cabinet and set them on a clipboard. She handed it to me and continued, "Please fill these out and sign on every '_x_.' When you finish, just bring it back to me with your identification and insurance card."

I carried the clipboard to a seat in the middle of the room and began filling out the paperwork. While I wrote, Edward filled two Styrofoam cups with coffee and handed one to me. I accepted it gratefully.

"Thanks, I really needed this." I grinned at him, taking a sip of my black coffee and returning to my paperwork.

"So did I. It's way too fucking early," he replied. Deep purple circles lied underneath his eyes, making me worry about how much sleep he'd been getting.

"It really _is_ too early. I feel bad that you had to come with me," I said, still scribbling answers on my paperwork.

"I didn't have to come with you. I _wanted_ to come with you. I thought you could use the company. I know this shit isn't exactly easy to do," he said, glancing at me with red-rimmed eyes. No matter what he said, I still felt guilty for him having to take me to therapy.

It seemed like I was filling out the intrusive questions for hours. My heart wrenched when I came to a question that read, "When was the last time you had sex?" I wanted to scream and write, "None of your motherfucking business!" Instead, I just skipped the question. After all, I didn't feel like writing, "The last time I had sex was when I was raped."

In an attempt to take a break from the immense amount of paperwork, I observed my surroundings. I barely realized I'd been absentmindedly tapping my red Chuck Taylors on the ugly carpet. There was a huge, yellow candle on the small table by my chair. A tiny water fountain, the kind you find in a pharmacy for ten bucks, was trickling by the sign-in sheet at the front desk. An elderly woman with a scarf wrapped around her head stared at the oversized clock on the wall, tapping her frail finger with every tick that signified a second.

I looked over at Edward, who smiled back at me reassuringly. Of course he was smiling. He wasn't the one that had to go to a fucking shrink in a feeble attempt to retrieve his "repressed memory," whatever the fuck _that_ was.

I finally finished the paperwork, which I brought back to the receptionist along with my I.D. and insurance card. She made copies of the cards, gave them back to me, and told me the doctor would be with me shortly.

I sat back down next to Edward, who was sipping his coffee. My mind drifted to the previous evening when I found out I'd be attending therapy.

_The last of the setting sun's light reached through my window, as if it were attempting to hold on from the edge of a cliff. Dark grey rain clouds began to fill the twilight sky. I rubbed my satisfied stomach as I curled up in my soft bed in the guest room. The walls were painted grey and were decorated with various paintings. There was a small book shelf to the left of the window, but I wasn't in the mood to read._

_I thought about my day, about how close Edward had come to getting pulverized by the assholes from La Push. I didn't understand how so many shitty things could happen in such a short amount of time. Perhaps someone put an evil curse on me, and I was bad luck to everyone around me. _

_Exhibit A: Edward would have never hit Jacob if it weren't for me wandering in La Push by myself. If it weren't for me, Jacob and his friends wouldn't have come looking for Edward with negative intentions._

_Exhibit B: Edward would have never totaled his car if he didn't have to pick me up that night. Just because I didn't remember it didn't mean it wasn't my fault. Edward told me it was because a deer ran in the road, but he would have never had to swerve away from the deer if he didn't have to pick me up in the first place._

_Thinking about those things made me feel like such a fucking burden to Edward. It was hard for me to believe he actually wanted me around with all the shit that went wrong because of me._

_Speaking of the devil, Edward popped his head in my room; flashing a humongous, goofy smile._

"_Hey," he said. "That dinner was so fucking good. Thank you so much."_

"_I'm glad you liked it," I replied, feeling my cheeks grow hot._

_Edward look a bit uncomfortable for a moment before he asked, "May I sit down?"_

_I laughed. "Edward, this is your house. You're very welcome to sit anywhere you'd like."_

_He smirked and walked over to my bed, lowering his ass like he was about to sit on my lap. I playfully shoved him away, giggling profusely. He lowered himself onto the chair next to my bed, the same chair he sat in when I had to get my bone realigned by Carlisle._

"_Bella, I'd like to speak with you for a minute." Edward's face was extremely serious as he spoke, as if he were about to tell me he had a terminal disease. My heart was racing and my mind was spinning. I thought of all the possibilities this conversation could bring, but really didn't know where it would actually be headed. _

"_Speak away," I said shakily._

"_Well, you know how you have the memory loss with the car accident and stuff?" he asked as his amazing green eyes bore into mine._

"_Yes," I replied, not wanting to have this conversation._

"_Okay, well . . . Carlisle has been talking to his psychiatrist friend, Dr. Gerandy. They both think it would be beneficial for you to go see him to try to figure out why you're missing that memory. It's not to make you uncomfortable, it's just to help you. We all care about your wellbeing, and Carlisle really thinks Dr. Gerandy might be able to help you." Edward stared at me expectantly, but I was at a loss for words. Even if I tried to speak, I didn't think anything would come out._

_When he was sure I wasn't going to respond, Edward continued, "It's totally up to you. No one's going to force you to do anything. Just think about it for a while, and let me know when you make a decision."_

A chubby brunette nurse with glasses entered the waiting room with a clipboard. She spoke in a monotone voice, "Isabella Swan?"

I stood up swiftly, walking to the door the nurse came through. I looked back at Edward, wishing he could save me from this dismal situation; but he was looking at the floor. Great, just great.

The apathetic nurse led me to a small room that smelled like cinnamon, which I traced to a burning red candle. She gestured for me to sit on an oversized couch and said, "Please make yourself at home. Dr. Gerandy will be with you shortly." The nurse shut the door behind her, and I became impossibly more anxious.

The coffee left an insatiable thirst in my throat, so I was thankful to see a water dispenser in the corner of the room. I grabbed a small cup from the dispenser and gulped down a few cups of water. It was cold and soothing on my throat.

There was a sharp knock on the door, which made me jump involuntarily. I quickly sat back down on the couch, folding my hands on my lap.

An old man with thick glasses entered the room, clearing his throat. I silently cursed Carlisle. There was no fucking way this guy would ever get through to me. He was just too . . . old.

"Isabella," he said, as if it were a statement. He reached out to shake my hand.

"Bella," I corrected him.

"Bella," he repeated. His voice was a little stronger than I expected it to be, but it still held an air of fragility like many other older people. He continued, "My name is Dr. Gerandy. I've been in contact with Carlisle for a few days regarding your health. He explained your situation, but I'd like you to tell me a little bit about why you're here."

I twiddled my thumbs and gazed to the box of tissues on the table in front of me. I prayed I'd never have to use them, especially not today. After making sure I found the voice that was stuck in my throat, I began, "Well, I'm kind of here because of Carlisle, as you already know." I attempted to smile and continued, "I guess he was pretty worried that I haven't remembered the car accident I was in, so he wanted me to see you." I left out the part about not remembering Charlie trying to abuse me because it was none of Dr. Old Fart's goddamn business.

Dr. Gerandy scribbled something down on his notepad, then turned back to me. "It's my understanding that you may have suffered a concussion from the car accident. Now, having a concussion can cause mild and short-term amnesia. Considering the fact that it has been a matter of days since you were involved in the accident, I have reason to believe the concussion is not the cause of your memory loss.

"Dr. Cullen, or Carlisle as you know him, is extremely open in his belief system. I happen to be more conservative. I know he fed you ideas of so-called repression. There are certain psychologists in Forks that practice Recovered Memory Therapy for repressed memories, but I am not one of them.

"Do you know why Dr. Cullen would think you repressed the car accident?" He stared at me with eyes that were magnified by his glasses, making him look like a bug.

Of course I knew. Carlisle thought I repressed the car accident because of what Charlie supposedly tried to do to me. But of course, I was _not_ going there. I offered him a simple, "Yes."

When I did not elaborate, Dr. Gerandy continued. "Dr. Cullen believes you were almost sexually assaulted by your guardian. That is why he believes you repressed that particular memory as well as the car accident."

I nodded, feeling like this shrink was being incredibly intrusive way too soon in the session.

Dr. Gerandy leaned back in his office chair and put his hands behind his head. When he knew he wouldn't get a peep out of me, he spoke again. "Sometimes people experience memory loss because of certain substances they've been using. Were you drinking or doing drugs the day of the accident?"

Who the fuck did this guy think he was? "No! God, no. Never." My tolerance was quickly fading for this doctor.

"I'm only asking because there's a possibility of an individual experiencing Substance-Induced Delirium. That's just one of the particular types of delirium. I have reason to believe a very minor form of delirium might be the underlying cause of your memory loss. It typically develops over a period of hours to days, but it can begin abruptly after a head injury—like in your case. You aren't experiencing many of the side effects often associated with delirium, but I still think there's a possibility of delirium being the cause of your memory loss." He grasped his pen and looked at me as if he expected me to participate in the medically-charged conversation.

The doctor continued, "How much sleep do you get nightly?"

"Um, I don't know. Enough? I mean, as long as I don't have bad dreams or a shitty day."

He nodded and wrote something down on his notepad.

My patience was fading. I knew the only reason I agreed to be at the appointment was because Edward asked me to. Even though I wasn't a particularly ballsy person, I decided to grow a set for what I was about to do. I stood up and said, "It's been fun and shit, but I'm done here. Thanks for all your help."

Before he had a chance to reply, I was out the door.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Today's been a great day to write. It's raining outside, I'm drinking my coffee, and I'm really hoping everyone enjoys this chapter. I certainly enjoyed writing it. It's a bit lemony toward the end, just so you know. Not crazy raunchiness or anything, but still lemony.

**Edward**

Carlisle sat across from me in his home office with an inquisitive expression. He folded his hands together and asked in a low voice, "What happened?"

I sighed and explained, "Bella walked out of her therapy session almost immediately. But before you give her a lecture, _please_ listen to me. Bella was incredibly uncomfortable with Dr. Gerandy. You told me yourself that the patient will never progress in therapy if they're uncomfortable with their therapist. He didn't even _try_ to get to know Bella or even _attempt_ to make her feel comfortable. To top it off, he immediately mentioned Bella's incident with Charlie. After she told me about that, I'm glad she left early."

Carlisle rested his forehead on his palm and sat silently for a moment. "I really trusted Dr. Gerandy. I know we had our differences, but I thought he was credible enough to trust him with Bella. I suppose I was fairly selfish in sending Bella to him for help. I wanted him to believe in repression and I thought he'd consider repression with her case. I was clearly wrong. Hopefully this will not hinder Bella's progress as much as I fear it will."

I considered his words and suddenly had an idea. "You believe in repression, right? I know you're a lot more credible than any shrink out there, so why don't _you _try to treat Bella for her repressed memories?"

Carlisle frowned. "I'm afraid that's not my line of work, Edward. I do not treat cognitive disorders. I am just a medical clinician."

"I know you could, though. I think you know you could, too. Please, just try for Bella." I hoped I could get through to him because Bella's progress meant the world to me. I continued, "Carlisle, Doctor Dipshit told Bella that he thought her memory loss is due to_ delirium_!"

"Delirium? That does not make any sense whatsoever. Bella does not have any delirious symptoms, and it's incredibly uncommon in people her age. I regret to say this, but I do not believe Dr. Gerandy made a proper diagnosis."

"See! Carlisle, I know you could help her. You know a lot more than any psychiatrist does. You'd be great at helping her, and I know she'd be a lot more comfortable around you than any other doctor. Plus, if you help her and she successfully regains her memory, that asshole Charlie can finally be put in jail." It was impossible to contain the excitement at the prospect of Carlisle helping Bella and Charlie being punished for his deeds.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, so I excused myself from Carlisle to answer it. I headed toward the living room to begin the conversation. Alice sat on one of the leather couches reading a celebrity gossip magazine.

I didn't recognize the number on the screen but decided to answer anyway.

"Hello?" It was impossible to hide the curiosity in my voice.

"Edward." A deep, familiar voice boomed in my ear.

My mouth dropped open, and I had to sit down from my utter shock. ". . . Jacob?"

Jacob Black spoke quickly, "Look, I know I'm a prick, and I really don't deserve your attention. Please just try to hear me out real quick before you hang up." Alice must have been listening because she set her magazine aside and quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Go for it," I said dumbly.

"I know 'sorry' doesn't excuse my behavior, but I really, truly am sorry. Not just for breaking in your house, but for what I've done to fuck up our friendship. I really fucked up, and I really, really apologize." His voice was cautious but it seemed genuine somehow.

I asked, "What made you want to apologize _now_? Is Billy behind you with a Smith & Wesson 500 or some shit?" I couldn't imagine Jacob voluntarily apologizing to me, especially after all the shit that went down between us. Even if his apology was voluntary and sincere, he couldn't possibly expect my forgiveness.

"I deserve that. But no one is forcing me to do this, bro. I fucked up a lot. You were a good friend to me, and I changed for the worse. The whole gang thing, that shit is over." His voice was a little shaky, and it seemed like he was almost crying. This was definitely bizarre.

"Wait, you're not in the gang anymore? I thought the only way out of a gang is by getting popped or dying?" I wasn't trying being a smartass, I was really just curious.

"Well, after what Sam did to me, no one expected me to stay a member. And no, not all gangs are like that. What I was in was more of a brotherhood, anyway. I've always hated the word 'gang.'"

"Yeah, okay. What did Sam do?" I asked, losing my patience. I didn't like how he was trying to confide in me after all the shit he pulled.

Jacob was definitely crying now. "Sam's been fucking Emily, bro. Fucking her behind my back. And today she dumped me for him. I really loved her, I really did. I thought I'd be with her forever. And to think about her with Sam . . . it just makes me sick." He broke down in muffled sobs, as if he was holding his hand over the mouthpiece on his phone. When he regained composure, he continued, "I'm sorry. I just didn't know where to turn. You're Emily's friend and all, so I thought maybe you could talk some sense into her."

I sat silently dumbfounded before I spoke, "Why would I do anything for you, regardless of my friendship with Emily?"

"Because I would do anything if you help me get back with Emily. Anything. I don't think you understand, but she's my everything. I am well aware I don't deserve your help or your time. If you do decide to help me, I'm willing to pay any price."

"I don't need your fucking money," I spat. "And I'm not gay, so you can't suck my dick for any favors." I saw Alice bite her lip to suppress a laugh.

"I know you don't need money and I'm well aware of your heterosexuality. What I meant was that I'm willing to give you my pain medicine prescription. It's three months worth of pills." Jacob's words hit my ear and tempted me greatly. How the fuck was I going to say no to a three month prescription to painkillers? The offer was positively irresistible.

"Fuck, man. I don't know. It sounds great and all, but how the fuck am I supposed to get through to Emily? She and I are friends, but I can't simply convince her to dump Sam and go back to you. That's just . . ."

Jacob spoke before I could continue, "I know, I know. I'm not asking you for a miracle. All I want is for you to try. The pills will be yours no matter what the outcome is. I just, I really need you to try. This is really important to me."

I sighed. "Where do you want to meet?"

**Bella**

I was completely convinced Alice had some sort of supernatural power to get people to do shit they didn't want to do.

The chemical-filled smell of nail polish filled the air as Alice performed a pedicure torture fest on my toes. I allowed her to use the pastel pink color on my toenails as long as my fingernails would be painted midnight black with absolutely no exceptions. She may have convinced me to do some girl shit, but I was not going to step away from the ground rules I'd set.

We were in the living room, but Alice had made it into her own personal nail salon. She even had a foot bath that massaged my feet and made little blue bubbles. Alice also had her own little cart that contained all sorts of nail polish and nail tools. I didn't even know what most of the tools were for.

Alice was concentrating immensely with each stroke of the nail brush. I felt like a Barbie as one by one of my toenails were painted pink against their will. When Alice was done with the evil pink and adding some clear shit on top, she asked the million dollar question: "Bella, would you mind if I did your makeup tomorrow morning before school? You still haven't used to the stuff we got at CVS, and I have tons of makeup I could use on you too. By the way, this nail polish looks flawless on your skintone!"

I ignored her last statement and said, "I don't know, Alice. I'm not really into that sort of thing."

Alice's lips twisted in an exaggerated pout as she begged, "Oh please, Bella? Please, oh please! I swear I won't put much on at all! And you'll look so very beautiful! You are beautiful anyway, makeup just exaggerates a girl's natural beauty!"

A loud knock at the door interrupted the awkward conversation. I was relieved to be interrupted, but it didn't last.

Edward answered, smiling at me as he walked by. The open door revealed a tall, pale, dark-haired man who had his arm around the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her blonde hair was styled in curls that reached halfway down her back. She had stunning full lips that were emphasized with bright red lipstick. Her dark eyes were as frightening as they were beautiful, as if she held some hidden animosity and wasn't afraid to go ballistic on the next person that said the wrong thing to her.

"Hey Em, Rose. Please come in," Edward gestered toward the nail-salon-living-room. He looked startled to see the visitors, but his smile made me relax from any pent up fear.

I was introduced to Emmett and Rosalie Hale and was told they were the neighbors.

I could barely pay attention to what was going on around me. I knew they were talking and laughing, but their voices seemed so far away. Everything blurred together and it seemed like they left just as soon as they arrived.

- - - - -

Wind howled against the house. Thunder roared from the darkness outside. Rain poured loudly on the rooftop. Flashes of lightening lit up my entire room. I tried to concentrate on my homework, but the storm was too distracting. I found myself gazing at it from my window, admiring the intensity of nature.

A sudden voice startled me. "I love thunderstorms." Edward stood behind me and gazed out the window.

I placed my hand over my heart and said, "Shit, you scared me."

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, that was kind of the point— sneaking in your room and scaring you during a thunderstorm. I couldn't help myself."

A humongous flash of lightening illuminated the entire room. It made everything appear so dark when it faded away.

My breath hitched when I felt Edward's cool hand brush against mine. I thought it was an accident, but it lingered there for a moment before he intertwined his fingers with my own.

We watched the thunderstorm hand-in-hand for an unfathomable amount of time before he turned to me and whispered in his smooth, perfect voice, "You are so beautiful." Edward brushed my hair behind my ears and traced the skin on my neck with his fingers.

I attempted to laugh, but the only thing that escaped my mouth sounded like a tiny animal in distress. "Please. You're the beautiful one," I said sincerely.

Edwards lifted his finger to my lips, making my heart race. I swore that that man was going to give me a heart attack one of these days.

Before I could think or even breathe, Edward's lips met mine. He kissed me softly, delicately, as if I were the most fragile object on the planet. Butterflies fluttered erratically in my stomach as the kiss became more eager and intense. He lightly placed his finger on my lips to open them and eagerly massaged my tongue with his own. I copied his movements as I shoved my tongue in his mouth. We kissed passionately and deeply, like it would be out last kiss ever. I had to remind myself to breathe through my nose as our tongues explored each other's mouths.

Edward slowly pulled away and smiled at me. "I've been wanting to do that for so long," he said softly.

I barely noticed the sounds of the storm as Edward led me to my unmade bed. He continued kissing me intensely as he gently pushed me down on the bed, carefully avoiding my cast-imprisoned arm. His tongue danced around inside my mouth as he lied on top of me, and his hard dick brushed against my leg.

My body was screaming with delight as Edward slowed the kiss to a closed-mouthed peck and began kissing and sucking on my neck. I had to bite my lip so I wouldn't moan with pleasure. I grabbed his back as he sucked on my neck and pushed myself against his very obvious hard-on. He groaned softly and shut his eyes, and I pushed against him again.

He glanced at me with hooded eyes as we pushed ourselves against each other in a lustful fit. We grinded steadily, quickening the pace every few moments, until Edward abruptly stopped.

"What's wrong?" I whispered breathlessly.

"Uh, I can't hold it any longer." He slowly whispered.

"Then don't," I said, surprising myself at my very own words.

Edward paused before asking, "Where should I . . . ?"

I laughed and said, "Uh, in your pants would be fine."

We awkwardly continued dry humping until Edward quivered and groaned, obviously getting off. He lied on top of me for a few minutes, softly stroking my hair. His body rose and fell with my breaths, which were gradually slowing.

Edward softly kissed my lips and rolled off my body in order to lie down next to me. He rested his head on his hand and said, "That was . . . just, so incredible. You are the most amazing girl in the entire world. And I mean it. I'm not saying that because of the grind session." He winked at me and we both laughed.

I spoke softly over the thunderstorm, "Does this change anything?"

Edward replied, "Between us?" I nodded. "I'd be lying if I said it doesn't. I guess we have two choices: we can either awkwardly avoid the sexual tension between us or you can be my girlfriend. I like the latter choice, myself."

I wanted to sing and dance and jump out of joy. Instead, I said, "If that's an offer, I'll take the awkward sexual tension." We laughed together and I continued, "But, in all seriousness, I want to be your girlfriend. I mean, that sounds so fucking corny. It's true though, so I have no way of redeeming myself from the corniness."

"Well this works perfectly, because I _want you to be_ my girlfriend," Edward said.

The storm continued throughout the night, which I knew because I was too happy and excited to sleep. After a lot more kissing, I curled up in front of Edward in the "little spoon" position. He fell asleep swiftly and soundlessly, and I wondered what he was dreaming about.

I didn't even remember succumbing to sleep, but I woke up to a screaming Esme.

"Edward Cullen!" she yelled. "You get your ass right out of Bella's room this instant!"

I watched helplessly as a disoriented Edward stumbled out of my bed and followed Esme out of my room. I hoped the situation would turn out better than it looked. After all, I _just_ got a boyfriend; and I didn't want him to be brutally murdered by his very pissed off mother.

**A/N: "**And I jizzed in my pants!" Haha. I think we all needed some lemony relief from all the shit going on in this story. Thanks for reading!


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: **I profusely apologize for the amount of time it's taken me to get this chapter posted. I don't have a beta (which explains the errors that pop up here and there in my story), so it takes me a while to review everything myself. One of the things I've really tried to do from the get-go was update my story frequently; so I do apologize for the wait this time around. You are all so amazing for taking the time out of your lives to read my story, so the least I can do for you is have it updated fast! I'd like to give special thank-you's to **texbratt67** and **Jazzieee **for always being so wonderful, sweet, and giving me a reason to keep going. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you both and everyone else that has been reading this story. You're all amazing!

**Edward**

With a three month supply of lortabs under my bed and a sudden buzz from taking a few of them, I took my phone out of my pocket. I scrolled through my address book until I reached Emily's name, which I selected before holding the phone to my ear.

The phone rang a few times before going to voicemail. "What's up? It's Emily. Leave a message." I couldn't help but notice how much her voice had changed since I'd last spoke with her. She seemed to be acting like a real hardass and was clearly trying to be someone she wasn't, just like Jacob had done.

I went through my phone again to get Jacob's number. I selected it and texted him, "Hey man, she didn't answer. Try not to worry about it too much. I'll keep you updated."

- - - - -

Esme was fuming as she marched outside with me in tow. I was planning on sneaking back up to my room before my parents woke up, but I fell asleep in Bella's bed. When Esme found me next to Bella, she was obviously furious; and I was about to suffer the consequences. My mother didn't get angry often, but she was her very own force of nature when she actually did.

I shut the front door behind me and followed Esme to a secluded clearing in the forest. Everything was damp from the rain and the birds sang their happy tunes. I assumed the birds were singing to rejoice the fact that they did not have furious mothers to deal with.

Esme's nostrils flared as she turned to me. "What the hell were you thinking?" she hissed.

I shrugged. "I was just spending some time with my girlfriend."

Esme's mouth dropped open for a moment before she regained composure. "Are you _crazy_? Edward, Bella needs to heal before she begins a relationship, let alone begins a relationship with the brother of Jasper. And for the record, you are not allowed in Bella's room _ever again_ for _anything_!"

I rolled my eyes at her harsh comments and spat venomously, "Look, you don't know Bella like I do. She's _absolutely_ ready to be in a relationship, and we have moved past my unfortunate relation to Jasper."

Esme started to raise her voice as she pointed a finger at me. "Don't you that tone of voice with me, young man!"

We stood in absolute silence. Apparently my mother's angry voice was menacing enough to even make the birds stop chirping. I felt guilty for ruining their carefree bird mornings.

"Sorry," I said softly. "I'm very, truly sorry. I didn't mean to upset you in any way. But you do have to understand that Bella will be my girlfriend no matter how angry you get with me. We have feelings for each other, and you really should start to try accepting that."

- - - - -

Bella sat next to me as we smoked her cigarettes. We were on Emily's porch, waiting for her and Sam to finish whatever it was that they were doing. Emily had answered the door with a towel wrapped around her tan, athletic body.

"Can you hold on just a few minutes?" Emily asked breathlessly.

I scratched the back of my head while averting my eyes, saying, "No problem," as she nodded and slammed the door in my face.

Bella looked positively horrified, so I suggested having a smoke to calm her nerves. We sat silently, smoking our cigarettes as the very distinct sound of two horny teenagers fucking lingered in the awkward air around us. Emily sure was _enthusiastic_ about Sam.

The sound of Emily and Sam banging came to an abrupt stop, immediately followed by a blood-curdling scream. Bella dropped her cigarette and glanced at me with wide, horrified eyes. I looked back at her with the same horror-struck expression.

Suddenly, Sam and Emily rushed out the front door— Sam in a robe and Emily wrapped in a blanket. My stomach turned as the scene unfolded around me. A fresh, deep gash took over Emily's once flawless face. She held the gaping wound with her hand in a feeble attempt to stop the blood, which was already trickling from her hand all the way down her arm.

Sam ran around frantically and said, "Everyone, get in the fucking car! We're going to the hospital."

I didn't give it a second thought as I entered the back seat of Sam's lime green Ford F-150. I held out my hand to help Bella in behind me as Sam helped Emily in the passenger seat. Sam jumped in the driver's seat and turned the keys in the ignition, making the engine roar to life. He barely even checked for cars, small children, or animals as he backed up down the driveway and sped down the street.

Emily was whimpering as she continued to hold her wound. We were being thrown around the car because Sam frantically and quickly sped toward the hospital, weaving around every car that got in the way.

Emily was bleeding so much that the blood dripped down her arm and splattered all over her seat. The rusty smell of blood was so thick inside the truck that it made me dizzy.

As I glanced at Emily's gaping wound, a light bulb lit up above my blood-drunk brain and I immediately pulled off my shirt. I would normally have laughed at Bella gawking at my bare chest, but it wasn't funny in the situation we were in.

I balled up my shirt and shoved it toward Emily. "Here," I said. "Hold this against your face." I didn't want to admit it, but I had seen the same thing done on TV. Emily didn't question me before she gratefully took my shirt and pressed it against her wound.

The truck was awkwardly silent the rest of the drive to the hospital. Sam screeched to a stop in front of the emergency room and told me to check Emily in while he parked. Bella jumped out of the car after me and the three of us hurried into the emergency room.

A nurse escorted Emily into a white, stale room, asking her general questions. When the nurse asked how Emily obtained the wound, Emily looked incredibly embarrassed. I had been itching to know the answer, so I listened intently.

Emily said softly, "My boyfriend and I were having sex, and everything was fine. We

like to . . . roleplay sometimes. You know, like dressing up and stuff. Well, today we were pretending like he was a criminal and he was, like, forcing me to have sex with him. He had a knife to my face to play the part . . . and, I don't know how it happened . . . it was an accident . . ." Emily began to cry as she trailed off. The fucked up part about the whole situation was that it seemed like she was trying to defend Sam.

The nurse looked over at me with a menacing glare. "You're the boyfriend?" she asked.

"Oh, no, no, no. Her boyfriend, Sam, should be here in a minute. He's parking the truck." I said quickly. I knew my voice was defensive, but I hated to feel like the guy that sliced his girlfriend's face off. The record needed to be set straight.

The nurse's face softened as she said, "Please make sure he comes in here immediately." She turned to Emily. "The doctor will be in directly. Until then," the nurse turned back to me and Bella, "I'm afraid there are to be no visitors."

I gave Emily a sad smile and exited the room with Bella. We settled down in the waiting room amongst sickly and tired guests.

Bella whispered in my ear, "What the fuck is _wrong_ with Emily? Who the fuck _pretends_ to get fucked against their will?"

I shrugged and ran my fingers through my hair, wishing I would have never gone to Emily's house to get her to "reconsider Jacob." I was in an emergency room with my beautiful girlfriend who had brutally been reminded about my brother raping her due to Emily's twisted sexual fantasies. To make it even worse, the only reason I agreed to speak to Emily in the first place was to score some pain meds.

Perhaps things could only get better from where they were.

**Bella**

I hated hospitals with a deep-seeded passion.

Despite their constant state of cleanliness, hospitals always reminded me of death. No amount of bleach could cover the fact that countless people have died there.

Edward and I were sitting in the waiting room. I heard a man crying out for a nurse in the background. Another man was having seizures on a bed in the hallway because there weren't enough rooms for the amount of patients. Many of the patients being rushed through the emergency room doors were there for drug overdoses.

There was a snack machine in the corner of the waiting room, but I couldn't see how anyone would be able to stomach food in such a situation. There was no way I'd be able to eat anything for quite a while unless I wanted to vomit.

A pair of policemen rushed past the waiting room and disappeared down the hall.

A familiar voice screamed, "No! I didn't do anything! We were just playing around! Don't arrest me! _Ow_! Hey, stop!"

I watched as Sam was escorted out the door in handcuffs.

Edward looked at me apologetically. I knew he didn't want me to be tangled in this mess of a day, but I really didn't mind. I'd already accepted the fact that my life was a pretty big mess in and of itself.

- - - -

I stood in the bathroom longer than absolutely necessary, wishing I would have been able to tell Alice "no." My shiny hair was in spiraled curls, my face was absolutely full of makeup, and I was wearing a motherfucking _dress_. A _pink_ dress. It was light pink, but it was still pink. Alice's black peep-toe heels made the pink nailpolish on my toes show through.

I glared at my reflection in the mirror. I could barely recognize myself behind all the hair and makeup. After a deep inhalation, I exited the bathroom and headed down the stairs.

Edward was shoveling Lucky Charms in his mouth until he glanced up at me. He dropped his spoon while a drop of milk trickled down his chin. "You look _amazing_," he said as he gawked at my entire figure.

My cheeks lit up as I explained the situation. "Oh, um, yeah . . . Alice kind of attacked me with makeup and hairspray this morning." I looked down and grabbed the bottom of the silky pink dress at my knees. "This is her dress too."

Edward chuckled and abandoned his bowl of cereal. He put his hands on my hips and kissed my forehead softly. "Ready for school?" he asked soothingly.

I nodded and accepted a breakfast bar from a bouncing Alice as the three of us headed toward the yellow BMW.

Always more than okay with accepting the back seat, Alice sang along to the radio on our drive to school. Edward kept smiling at me and rubbing my leg. It almost felt like we were on some sort of road trip with no sadness, no barriers, and no worries. That single moment was absolutely perfect.

I immediately regretted letting Alice primp me when we arrived to school. Even though the most handsome man in existence had his arm around me, all eyes were glued to me. There wasn't a single person who didn't stop to stare at me, some of them even doing double-takes. Edward stood by my side reassuringly until it was time to enter my first period class.

"I'll see you soon," he said. He softly kissed my lips, making my heart flutter and butterflies tickle my stomach.

When I sat down in my class, Jessica's eyes almost popped out of her head.

"What happened to you?" she asked with a hint of bitchiness.

"Oh, Edward's sister got to me this morning," I said.

Jessica looked confused, opening her mouth to press me for more details; but Mr. Mason swiftly began talking about the day's lesson.

"I trust you've all read the assigned _Picture of Dorian Grey_ chapters for today's assignment," Mr. Mason said. Everyone was silent, but a few students nodded.

Mr. Mason continued, "Michael Newton, perhaps you'd like to share your thoughts on the chapters?"

Everyone giggled, probably assuming Mike was about to fuck up. Mike _never_ read the assigned chapters.

Mike cleared his throat and began, "The uh, garden was explained in such a great amount of detail."

Mr. Mason replied, "Michael, the garden was in the first few sentences. Did you read any more than that?"

Laughter reverberated throughout the room, and Mike remained silent.

- - - - -

The day went by fairly fast, and I was at lunch before I knew it. Edward was waiting for me outside the cafeteria with a huge grin on his face.

"What?" I asked, wishing I had a mirror to see if there was something on my face.

"Nothing. You're just absolutely gorgeous." No matter how often he said it, I really couldn't believe it. He was the gorgeous one. I was absolutely nothing compared to him.

Edward and I took a seat next to Alice, Tyler, and some dumb bitch named Tanya. Tanya was wrapped around Tyler like a fucking Christmas present but she stared at my boyfriend like she wanted to fuck him. It was positively appalling.

Alice embraced me in a humongous hug right after we sat down, whispering to me about how cute I looked.

Tanya caressed Tyler's neck and turned to me momentarily to say, "So, you're the new girl?"

"Bella," I said softly. It didn't matter how much makeup I had or how my hair was done, Tanya intimidated the shit out of me.

Tanya averted her short attention span from me to Tyler, giggling as he tickled her.

I was so tired of the dumb girls at Forks High School.

I dug in my backpack to find something to eat, wrapping my hands around a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Sure it was generic, but it was also fucking delicious. I gulped it down in a matter of minutes.

Alice hissed something unintelligible in Tanya's ear, which made Tanya roll her eyes.

Edward soothingly rubbed my back all throughout lunch, which slightly relaxed me and made the awkward Tanya situation a little more tolerable. It would have been a little better if it weren't for Jessica and her clan staring daggers at me the entire time. They must have been upset I wasn't sitting with them anymore.

I knew I had quite a number of problems in my life, but having Edward by my side made it worth it.

Edward moved his face closer to mine and whispered, "We need to talk."

My heart raced and my stomach turned. That line never led to anything good in any relationship. Maybe nothing was worth it afterall.

**A/N:** Bella's perspective of the emergency room actually came from my experience having to go there (obviously except for the Emily part). It's not a fun place to be. Anyway, I hope you are all doing well and that you enjoyed the chapter! I'll have 18 up as soon as possible.


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: **Obviously, Stephanie Meyer owns. I'm just butchering all of her ideas.

**A/N**: Hello all! I'm hoping everyone had a tolerable Valen-turds day. And if you didn't, I'm hoping you were at least able to get good and drunk or something. Thank you for reading. You're all amazing! And I don't care if I sound like an ass kisser because I really do appreciate every single one of you. There's some lemony smutness toward the end, in case anyone would like to know or even cares!

**Edward**

I immediately regretted my choice of words. Bella looked immensely worried, and I even saw a faint hint of the beginning of a tear in her eye. Most people wouldn't have noticed, but I was pretty fucking in tune with All Things Bella.

I led Bella to a secluded corner in the school courtyard. Even though it wasn't raining, the sky was grey and made everything appear darker than usual. I sat down on the ledge of a planter filled with colorful snapdragons, motioning for Bella to take a seat next to me.

To calm her nerves, I kissed Bella's nose. "Don't look so worried. Everything's fine, baby," I said serenely.

Bella seemed to relax slightly, but she still looked nervous. I decided to spit it out so she wouldn't worry anymore.

"I talked to Carlisle the other day," I said.

Bella looked up at me expectantly. It was clear she didn't expect to hear Carlisle's name in this conversation.

I cleared my throat and continued, "Yeah, so . . . you know how that therapy thing you went to didn't go so well? So, um, I was talking to Carlisle, and I think . . . I think he'd be able to help you. I mean, if you want help. No one will ever force you to do anything." I immediately regretted my choice of words and hoped she didn't associate the word "force" with _rape_.

Bella's face was blank.

"Sure," she said.

"Really?" I asked, not thinking she'd accept Carlisle's help so quickly.

"Yeah, I think that would be fine. It's not a big deal. I thought you brought me out here because of our relationship or something," Bella said quickly, looking at her Converse as she spoke.

"Bella, there's absolutely nothing wrong with our relationship. Don't ever worry about that, okay? You're perfect, and you have nothing to worry about."

Bella grinned at me, and in that moment, I felt as though everything was okay.

* * *

Biology was particularly entertaining after lunch. Bella and I held hands under the table as Mr. Banner droned on about shit I wasn't listening to. Mike Newton came in the room with a sour look on his face, and it didn't take long for the smell of piss to reach my nostrils.

The girl next Mike wrinkled her nose. "What happened?" she asked.

Mike scoffed and replied bitterly, "Someone thought it would be hilarious to throw pee-filled water balloons at me, okay?! Pee-filled water balloons! I reek!"

The girl laughed and replied, "Um, why didn't you go home to change or something?"

Mike growled, "Oh I don't know, because I don't have a car? I have no choice but to deal with it the rest of the day. _And_ I am supposed to be at band practice this afternoon! Ugh!"

The entire classroom erupted in laughter. Mike gazed around in shock. Apparently he didn't think anyone would be listening. Bella bit her lip, and it made me laugh even harder than I already was. She likely felt guilty since Mike was a regular at the table she used to sit at during lunch.

I futilely tried to ignore the pee smell the duration of the lesson.

* * *

Esme and Bella were cooking in the kitchen while Alice and I were watching some program about what happens to the world when humanity ceases to exist.

The house phone made a shrill ring a few times until Alice rolled her eyes, got up from the couch, and answered.

"Hello?" Alice twirled the phone chord around her finger as she spoke.

The sound of something sizzling in the kitchen almost masked what Alice whispered, but there was no definitely no way to deny what I heard her say.

"Jasper?" Alice's eyes filled with tears as she spoke.

I hoped and fucked prayed that I was in a dream. Jasper was in prison and had no fucking right to be calling us.

Alice collapsed on the couch and her entire body undulated in sobs. "No . . . yeah . . . I missed you too . . . w-what do you mean? . . . Parole? You . . . you're getting parole? N-no, you can't just . . . c-come home. No. No! No! Jasper . . ."

I swiped the phone from Alice's tiny hand and spoke softly and menacingly in the receiver. "Jasper."

"Edward?" Jasper asked disbelievingly. "Is it really you, brother?"

I ignored his obvious question and continued speaking softly so that Bella wouldn't be able to hear me. "When do you get out on parole?"

Jasper spoke enthusiastically, "In a few days, my friend!"

I scowled at the word "friend," and spoke with all the venom I could possibly collect. "Jasper, you can not come to this house. I don't give a flying fuck if it was your home before. You are not welcome here _ever again_. Do you fucking hear me, _brother_?"

Silence overtook my ear for a few moments before Jasper said, "But, why? Are you mad at me for what happened with that one girl? Believe me, brother, she was a skank! She had it comin'!"

I ground my teeth and hissed, "Don't you ever address Bella in that way again, you motherfucker! You're a fucking piece of human waste, and _you are not welcome here_."

Jasper paused again before he asked, "Bella? Who the fuck is Bella?"

**Bella **

The theme song to _Intervention _reverberated throughout the living room. Edward kissed my forehead. He grabbed my stomach and snuggled behind me.

It was his favorite show.

I personally didn't care for _Intervention_. It sort of made me depressed to see all the people with addictions, especially when they didn't agree to get help. I zoned out for a while, and the credits were rolling before I knew it.

Edward looked at me and winked, signifying for our plan to begin. He softly kissed me and headed up to his room.

I walked slowly to my room and lied down.

My phone beeped in my pocket, indicating a text message from Edward. "My parents are definitely asleep," it read.

I grinned and crept up the humongous staircase, being careful not to make a peep.

Edward's room door was wide open for me, and I entered.

"Hey," I whispered.

Edward beamed at me. His room wasn't clean, but it wasn't too messy. There were piles of clothes here and there, books sprawled out, and an open CD case on the floor. Nothing too bad. Even if it were messy, I probably wouldn't mind.

He had the radio on, which was playing the song Uprising by Muse. The chorus began, "They will not force us, they will stop degrading us. They will not control us, we will be victorious." Edward was tapping his foot to the song, and he beckoned for me to come closer with his finger.

As if it were a sign from the heavens, the song by Muse faded away and Nine Inch Nails' Closer came on the radio.

Edward sweetly kissed my lips and pulled my hair behind my ear. He whispered, "You know, Esme told me I wasn't ever allowed in your room again. But . . . she didn't mention _you_ not being able to be in _my _room."

I giggled and kissed him urgently, slipping my tongue inside his mouth. I pulled myself as close to him as I could possibly get and felt his length against my leg. Feeling him against me completely soaked my panties.

We paused for a moment and he breathed, "I want you so bad." If my panties were wet before, I now had an ocean between my legs.

I mouthed, "I want you more." My head was so dizzy with lust that I wasn't sure whether or not I said it out loud.

We continued making out as Edward stroked my hair. My body was filled with so much desire that I felt like I'd explode any second.

Edward unbuttoned my jeans and slipped his hand beneath my panties, making me gasp.

His hand rubbed against all the right places, making me stifle a moan and claw the pillow behind my head.

"Oh, fuck, Edward," I said through clenched teeth. "Don't stop."

My entire body erupted in the most fucking amazing orgasm I'd even felt. Even _I_ couldn't give myself that kind of pleasure. I dug my fingernails into my skin in an attempt to soften my moan. My entire body was shaking, which made Edward grin.

"That was quick," he whispered seductively.

I jokingly shoved him away and said, "Well, what the fuck can I say? You're good."

**A/N**: Well, what the fuck can _I _say? Short, but (bitter)sweet. I do hope it was at least enjoyable and worth the wait. You guys are seriously amazing. Reviews keep me motivated! Please review. =]


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: **Stephanie Meyer owns. I'm just swinging in her playground.

**A/N: **Woo, 19 is finally here! So, I planned on having this chapter up Sunday night, but it didn't exactly work thanks to Wendy's giving me a tummy ache from the depths of hell. I do apologize. I feel so much pressure now that I know that so many of you are fond of Jasper and, therefore, there are a lot of standards to look up to. I've been doing a lot of thinking about where this story is going to go, and I really hope you all enjoy it. Even if you don't, thanks for reading.

**Edward**

Bella was sprawled out on my bed, eyeing the week's worth of clothing and bare necessities I had thrown in piles and suitcases throughout my room. My living area was a mess, but it was motherfucking nothing compared to my scattered mind. The call from Jasper was literally killing me.

Just when I felt like my life had fucked me royally, it went ahead and fucked me harder.

I was incredibly thankful for the hefty supply of pain medication from Jacob. The pills helped my anxiety by slightly relaxing me and forcing me to calm down. Thank God for Central Nervous System Depressants.

Jacob was horrified when he learned about Emily going to the hospital, but it had also given him the golden opportunity to visit Emily without worrying about Sam being there. I didn't know how his visit had gone, but I was guessing that the last thing on Emily's list of priorities would be to get back with the guy she dumped. I made a mental note to call Jacob after the mess I was in unfolded.

Bella looked up at me with curious brown eyes, but she didn't say anything. I told her that I was taking her camping for an unknown amount of time because I needed to get away. She looked at me like I was crazy, but reluctantly agreed to join me.

I threw some socks and boxers into a black suitcase that held my lortabs. There was no way I would be leaving without the pills. Even if I didn't take them, it gave me comfort to know that they'd be with me. I also made sure to pack a bottle of Jack because no camping trip should persist without a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Bella ran her good hand along her cast and asked, "When exactly are we leaving?" I could hear the slight irritation in her voice, but it was definitely trivial. I figured she'd be over it as soon as we were in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it would even be a golden opportunity to finally go all the way with her. Every time we messed around, my entire body ached to be inside her. Even if I did get off, my balls would always end up inevitably blue from lack of Bella poonani.

Of course, I was reluctant to be the one to initiate sex. I figured Bella would grant me access to her holy lands when she was ready. And I would wait for a fucking eternity for her to be ready. I hoped it wouldn't be that long, though. Men have their needs.

* * *

Camping next to a river might have been beautiful, but there were shit loads of bugs that came with that beauty. Bella rubbed a shit load of anti-bug lotion on her body while I struggled to assemble our blue tent. I was fairly certain every male I'd ever known had innate tent-setting-up skills, so I was starting to feel fairly inadequate in comparison. I slapped a mosquito that landed on my arm and groaned.

Bella smirked at me, set down her lotion, and turned around the pole I was holding. It immediately snapped into place, so I repeated the process on each side. Bella giggled as I gave her a joking glare.

Once the tent was set up, I started a campfire. Twilight was creeping upon us, so I figured it would be the perfect time for a fire to keep the bugs away and provide warmth. I might have had trouble setting up the tent, but I wasn't a total dipshit. I'd learned many things from the camping trips Carlisle had taken us on as kids.

The setting sun was doing amazing things to the river. The water trickled in hues of orange, red, purple, and pink, which mirrored the colorful clouds in the sky. The birds were singing bedtime tunes, and I imagined the nocturnal animals of the forest just getting ready to start their nights. The glow of the campfire lit up Bella's face, which was lost in thought. I'd be damned if camping wasn't romantic that very moment.

Bella chuckled, immediately holding her hand over her mouth as if she'd done something inappropriate.

I smirked at her. "What?" I asked.

She coyly responded, "Oh, I was just thinking about the times Renee would take me camping as a kid. I mean, there were only a few of them, but I always had so much fun. Phil would tell the _best _ghost stories, and it would scare the shit out of Renee. She wouldn't be able to sleep all night, and she would wake me up to keep her company. We'd talk about shit all night. Those were the good days," Bella sighed, and her nostalgic face quickly turned into a frown.

To keep Bella's thoughts positive, I chirped in, "Yeah, I know what you mean! Carlisle would take Alice and I camping as kids, and his ghost stories would scare the shit out of her. It was pretty entertaining. I suppose it must have been even more entertaining for you since the scardy-cat was your mother." I grinned at her, and she mirrored my expression.

Bella quirked an eyebrow at me. "Do _you_ know any good ghost stories?" she asked coyly.

I shrugged. "Just some urban legends, but nothing worth repeating. What about you?"

Bella bit her lip before replying, "I don't know. I don't really like telling ghost stories, because the ones I know are actually real." If Bella weren't so serious when she told me that, I would have laughed. But I could tell she wasn't joking around, and I didn't want to offend my girl.

"Well you can't leave me hanging like that! Now you _have to_ tell me." I said, folding my arms and pouting my lips.

The fire popped loudly, emitting a few sparks in the air.

"Maybe after dinner," Bella said, pointing to the pack of hot dogs on our picnic table.

I nodded, and my stomach grumbled in agreement.

We roasted our hotdogs on metal clothing hangers that I pulled apart beforehand, using the flames to disinfect the metal. Bella was a fucking pro at cooking her hot dogs in the fire. I might have dropped a few hot dog casualties, and they'd certainly be missed; but it wasn't exactly as easy as it looked. I was quickly starting to feel like the clumsy one.

We gobbled up our hot dogs, making sure to leave room for S'mores. When our mouths were messy with chocolate and marshmallow goodness, I leaned in for a kiss. I only let it linger for a moment, hoping she'd want a few more kisses later.

I leaned back in my fold-up chair and said in a mock Southern accent, "Now how's about that ghost story?"

It was so dark outside that the trees around us weren't even visible. The only thing I could see was Bella from the fire, and I was perfectly fine with that. I didn't overlook her blushing cheeks before she started to talk.

"Promise you won't think of me differently for this? A lot of people that don't believe in ghost shit always think people that experience paranormal activity are weirdos or liars." Bella looked at me expectantly with her big brown eyes.

"I promise," I replied sincerely.

Bella exhaled through a tiny "o" her lips made and begun, "I guess you could say I've always been haunted. I've been haunted as long as I've been old enough to remember anything. I would always blame things on the wind or maybe even electrical problems in the house; but when my family started experiencing some weird things too, I started to second-guess what was happening.

"There was one instance where Phil was in the living room on a perfectly calm sunny day. He looked outside on the patio, and one of the chairs moved from one side of the patio to the other by itself. Wind couldn't do that, and it wasn't even windy to begin with.

"Renee had the same recurring experience in her bedroom. It only happened when Phil wasn't home, too. Anyway, she would be lying down in bed, and she'd feel like someone was sitting on the bed right next to her. There was an indentation in the bed and everything— only, no one would ever be there. It scared the shit out of her, especially since it wasn't a one-time thing.

"I was used to having electronics turn on and off by themselves. There was even one instance where Renee, Phil, and I were watching a film in the living room, and the chandelier from the dining room kept flickering on and off. We all looked at each other, and Phil told the presence that we believed in it and told it to leave.

"Things got even more fucked up when I started actually seeing things. I was online one day, and I saw a literal shadow of a man wearing a top hat walk past the room I was in and fade away into my room. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but thought differently when I researched it. I looked on ghost study websites, and I read that one type of ghost was called a 'shadow ghost.' They're the most uncommon ghosts to capture on film, and they're usually seen wearing top hats. When I read that, I was sure that I wasn't going crazy.

"A while after the shadow ghost occurrence, I woke up to take a piss in the middle of the night. When I was done, I saw a white, misty object at the end of the hallway. I rubbed my eyes to make sure it wasn't just fatigue playing tricks on me, but it was still there when I looked again. It started coming closer to me in robotic-like movements. When I willed my legs to move, I sprinted into Renee and Phil's room. I'd never been so thankful their door was unlocked in my entire life.

"The worst thing that happened to me still frightens me when I think about it. I was sleeping in my room, and I was woken up by Renee whispering my name. I was still half asleep when I asked her what she wanted, but she whispered my name again. The way she sounded was different in a way I can't really describe. I guess the best way I can explain it is that it was darker than usual.

"I was definitely awake when I turned around to face Renee. She was standing in the hallway right outside my room, and she was just looking at me. I asked her what she wanted, and then, she just fucking . . . disappeared. It was the most crazy shit I'd ever seen. When I confronted her about it the next day, leaving out the part where she disappeared out of thin air, she denied ever even waking up that night—let alone walking to my room.

"I've never been able to comprehend what happened that night, especially since Renee is alive and well. The only thing I can think of is that it was some type of spirit that's able to shift their appearance to look like whatever or whoever they want. I don't know. It was just really fucked up."

I didn't know how to respond to Bella's story. I'd never given much thought to the presence of ghosts in the world. Esme had an experience with the spirit world when she was a kid, but I hadn't ever really thought about it after she initially told me what happened.

Finally, I mused, "Wow. You must have been scared shitless. I don't even know how I'd react in those kinds of situations, but I don't think I'd be able to keep my composure. Especially if I were just a kid."

"I was a kid," Bella said thoughtfully. "I don't know how I dealt with everything so calmly. I guess I was just used to it happening. I'm just glad I haven't had anything weird like that happen ever since I lived in that house."

I nodded in agreement, studying Bella's face. It was blank, and she was staring at the fire in reverie.

"Have you ever had anything weird happen to you?" Bella suddenly asked.

"Not me personally, but Esme had something happen to her when she was a kid."

Bella scooted up in her seat eagerly, waiting for me to continue. I smiled at the gesture.

"Okay," I said. "I'm probably going to butcher it because she told me such a long time ago, but I'll do my best." I poked a stick at the dying fire, making it emit a countless array of sparks. I continued, "When Esme was a child, he grandmother was dying in the hospital. Her mother was in the hospital too, you know, to be with her in her last moments of life.

"Esme has quite a few siblings, so, naturally, she was sharing a room with her brother. They were asleep, but awoke to the sound of footsteps creeping up their old, wooden staircase.

"Esme called out for her father, thinking it was him coming up the stairs to check on the

kids. But no one replied. Esme called her dad's name again. Again, no reply.

"All of a sudden, the door to Esme's room swung open. When Esme and her brother looked to see who it was, there was absolutely nobody there. The door immediately shut by itself, and there were footsteps descending the stairs.

"Esme and her brother were glued to their beds, paralyzed in fear. The phone rang, and they heard their father answer it in the other room.

"The door to their room opened once more, and they were thankful to see their father standing there. He told them regretfully that their mother had just called to inform him that their grandmother passed away. Esme thinks the footsteps and the door opening by itself was her grandmother checking on her before she passed on into the afterlife."

I wasn't sure how Bella would react, but her eyes were filled with glee. "Oh my God," she said. "That's actually really sweet. Sad, but sweet."

As Bella spoke, she put her hand on mine, looking deeply into my eyes.

"Thanks for not thinking I'm crazy with the ghost stuff," she whispered.

I laughed. "Please. You could never convince me that you're anything but sane. The only thing I fine insane is that you want to be with me."

**Bella**

I rolled my eyes at Edward. I couldn't even remotely fathom how he was so self conscious. I was the one that was lucky to have him, not visa versa. I was like a peasant, and he a king. He was beautiful and alluring, I was plain and unworthy.

I deeply inhaled, soaking in the refreshing air of the wilderness. It was an aroma no perfume or candle could ever mimic, and I absolutely loved it.

The campfire was dying down, so we decided to hit the hay. It was actually immensely peaceful. The crickets were singing and frogs were croaking. The soothing sound of the running river almost lulled me to sleep right when I zipped up my sleeping bag.

Edward yawned and stretched, leaving his arm around me when it reached my shoulders. I felt so frumpy and gross. Camping certainly didn't heighten my sex appeal. I'd rather fool around with my boyfriend when I was certain to have access to a toothbrush.

As if he'd read my mind, Edward whipped out a two pack of Colgate Whisps and handed them to me. I laughed and ripped one from the package, handing the other one to Edward.

We thoroughly and gratefully cleaned our teeth with the tiny toothbrushes, and I sighed in contentment. The little things made camping oh so much better.

Edward unzipped his sleeping bag and grinned at me with his shining clean teeth.

"There's plenty of room for two in here," Edward said seductively.

I grinned at him, feeling extra thankful to have fresh breath. I unzipped my sleeping bag and crawled into his. I was glad to have plaid flannel pajama pants on because I was fairly certain I had prickly legs.

Edward zipped us inside his sleeping bag, and I was glad for the warmth. My heart fluttered inside my chest as he nuzzled his face against mine.

Edward softly kissed my lips as he brushed my cheek with his hand.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

I replied by kissing him passionately, showing him how much I wanted him, how grateful I was to have him next to me.

Edward pulled me on top of him and continued to kiss me. He rubbed my pussy outside my pants, making me shiver and soaking my panties. That man should have had his very own brand of lubricant. Edward Cullen – It Gets You Soaked Every Time.

As Edward continued to rub me, he pushed his very evident hard-on against me. It felt so great to be able to turn him on like that, and it made me suppress a grin.

I grabbed his cock outside his pants, and he groaned. It was so hard that it throbbed in my hand even outside his jeans.

I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans and pulled them down just enough to do what I intended to do.

My heart raced a million miles an hour. I didn't know if there was a wrong way to suck a dick, but I sure as fuck didn't know how to do it right.

I pulled Edwards dick out of his boxers, breathed in, and put my mouth around it. I tried to remember how girls in the pornos would do it. I sucked not too soft but not too hard, bobbing up and down on his dick. I slowly pulled up and plunged right back down. Edward groaned when I did that particular motion, so I did it again- pulling up extra slow and plunging down as far as I could go. I had to resist the urge to gag. I didn't really know what I was doing, and he was so well endowed that I didn't think anyone could suck him off without gagging. I couldn't even get halfway down without his dick being as far in my mouth as I could hold it.

As I was sucking him off, Edward groaned and whispered obscenities. I felt pretty confident about everything, but then he whispered something that made me stop what I was doing.

"I want to be inside you," he said softly.

I stopped sucking his dick and sat up. I smirked at him seductively and peeked at him through my eyelashes with hooded eyes.

"Then come inside me," I said with my new-found confidence, smirking at the double entendre.

Edward pulled my pants and underwear down in one swift movement, doing the same to himself right after.

"Are you ready?" he asked softly.

I nodded eagerly. I was ready as I could ever be. I pulled him closer to me with a lust-filled eagerness I didn't even know I possessed. But as he was about to enter me, my entire body tensed up. Specifically, the muscles in my "special area" restricted anything from entering it. It must have been some sort of defense mechanism, even though it was the opposite of what I wanted.

Edward hesitated at my entrance, sensing something was wrong.

"It's okay," I whispered. "Keep going." I fought against my body, forcing it to relax; but it fought back twice as hard.

Edward swallowed loudly, and he gently rubbed my entrance with the tip of his dick. My body tensed up even more, making it impossible for Edward to enter me whatsoever.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I want you so bad, but my body is fighting it."

Edward nodded in understanding and softly kissed my forehead.

"Don't be sorry. Everything's fine," he said sincerely. I expected him to be disappointed. Wouldn't any man be?

We pulled up our pants and he held me tightly close to him while softly stroking my hair.

At that moment, we were the only two people in the world.

* * *

On the drive home from camping, Edward looked incredibly anxious. Our trip had been cut short by the pouring rain and inadequate shelter for the weather. I kept asking Edward what was wrong, but he shrugged it off to fatigue.

I tried to read a book to pass the time, but it made me nauseous so I ended up just falling asleep.

I was abruptly awoken by the car screeching to a stop and Edward yelling obscenities. Dizzy from sleep, I blinked a few times to attempt to focus my vision. Edward jumped out of the car and slammed the door behind him. The Cullens were standing in the driveway with sullen expressions, but my eyes were stuck on one particular person.

Jasper Cullen turned around to face me and gaped in shock. He looked as if he hadn't showered in days. His face was stubbly and his hair was greasy. The last time I saw him in court, he was so clean cut, so it made him seem even dirtier. It also seemed like he'd aged a lot more than the four years that had passed.

I felt like I was hallucinating, or maybe even dreaming. However, the piercing pain inside my chest made the situation incredibly real.

Jasper's face immediately turned from shock to absolute rage. My body went numb as he began to storm toward the car I was in.

Jasper didn't get very far.

Edward lunged toward Jasper and threw him on the ground. Edward jumped on Jasper, throwing punches to his face like a madman. The fight between Edward and Jacob was nothing compared to what I was witnessing.

Jasper grabbed Edward and punched him a few times, but it only fueled the fire. Edward hit Jasper with an immense amount of force right before Carlisle separated them.

Edward and Jasper were breathing heavily and glaring at each other. Their faces were covered in blood, but I had a feeling that most of it was Jasper's.

"Let's just settle down!" Carlisle said forcefully, creating a barrier with his own body between his two sons.

As if Carlisle were invisible, Edward screamed while pointing at Jasper, "I told you to stay the fuck away from this house!"

"Why, 'cause your little fucking girlfriend is the skank I fucked in Vegas? How the fuck dare you? She put me in jail for four motherfucking years, asshole!" Jasper spat back.

"_You_ put yourself in jail, fuckwad!" Edward hissed.

"Stop it!" A high-pitched voice screeched. A pixie-like Alice marched forward looking incredibly pissed off. "Both of you, just fucking stop it! This is probably the most fucked up situation of all time, but we are a family whether we want to be or not, and we will work through this! Just stop yelling, and we can figure it out!" Alice's arms were folded as she yelled at them. Even though she was tiny, she knew how to silence her furious brothers that were twice her size.

As the scene unfolded around me, I really hoped there was some way to figure something out. It absolutely didn't seem possible, though.

**A/N:** I guess that was my longest chapter yet. The part about Bella's ghost experiences was incredibly easy to write because all of that shit actually did happen to me. And Edward's story about what happened to Esme actually happened to my mom when she was little. So, yeah. Fun stuff.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** I know, I know. This seriously took forever and a day to get chapter 20 to all of you lovely people. Feel free to utter obscenities to me in the review section or just out loud. I suppose I'm just the queen of procrastination.

I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who continues to read, add this to your story updates and favorites, and continues to support me. I'm really grateful for every single one of you. This is something I do for fun, and I guarantee you I never expected such positive feedback. I wish I could give every single one of you mega hugs! ::intranet mega hugs::

So this is probably going to look even more incredibly short than it is, especially compared to last chapter. Believe it or not, there's a method to my madness! There's much more to come! ;)

**Edward**

Jasper was back.

Jasper was not leaving, despite my attempt to kick his scrawny ass into an alternate universe.

Eating utensils clanked against ceramic plates as we all ate in awkward silence. I didn't know why my family was even attempting to try in such a fucking awkward situation. They were certainly doing a marvelous job at making the awkward situation inevitably more awkward.

Bella took a miniscule bite of salad before looking like she was going to puke across the table.

"Excuse me," Bella muttered before shoving her chair back and exiting the room.

The house was so silent that everyone could hear my girlfriend exiting the entire contents of her stomach from the bathroom.

Esme, of course, initiated conversation. "It's so lovely to have you back, dear," she said, eyeing Jasper intently.

Jasper shoved a wad of meatloaf in his mouth before making an unintelligible hum in agreement.

My head suddenly began to throb in excruciating pain. I held my palm across my forehead while staring at my untouched meal.

Esme immediately noticed my distress and asked, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" Her tone was sickeningly maternal and loving.

"Oh I don't know, mother. I just think there's too much rapist at this table for my liking." I said menacingly.

Carlisle muttered a disapproving, "Edward," while Jasper glared daggers at me.

I was feeling exceedingly cocky as I turned to Jasper and continued, "So tell me, Jazzy poo. How does it feel to have someone's cock up your asshole?"

Jasper stabbed his meatloaf with a carving knife as he glared at me forebodingly. At that moment, I half expected him to stab me with the meatloaf carving knife.

"That's enough!" Carlisle yelled. He turned to me and continued, "Edward, I do believe you've caused quite enough chaos for the day!"

I shot back, "You act like he doesn't fucking deserve it, doc! Your son is a fucking rapist. I really do believe he deserved the ass kicking _and_ the likelihood of prison butt sex."

Carlisle breathed heavily as his nostrils flared. I imagined smoke protruding from his nose and flames spewing from his mouth.

_Mew! _I felt a furry body rub against my leg as a talkative Zorro looked up at me. I picked him up, and he rubbed his furry kitty head against my arm.

I stood up from the uncomfortable dinner while continuing to hold my cat. "Come on, boy," I said softly. "Your little butthole is in serious danger around here. Let's go." I gave Jasper a pointed smirk as I carried Zorro out of the room to go check on Bella.

I knocked on the bathroom door before letting myself in. Bella dry heaved in the toilet before looking up at me helplessly.

"What are we going do, Edward?" she asked in a raspy voice.

"I don't know, baby," I whispered. "I _really_ don't know."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: **Hello, lovelies! A few of you were understandably repulsed by Carlisle and Esme's willingness to let Jasper back into their home so quickly— with Bella there nonetheless. I absolutely understand your anger towards them. It wasn't an easy pill for me to swallow either. I'm not a parent, but I can only imagine how heart-wrenching it would feel to have your child commit such a terrible crime. I honestly feel like it would be hard to just shun that child out of your life completely. In this case, Carlisle and Esme have gone to the extreme and just created an unbelievably shitty situation. So, where do we go from here? I suppose the only way _to_ go is forward.

Again, I apologize for the time it took for me to update. I don't have any good excuses for taking so long. One thing that has been keeping me distracted is the amount of amazing fics out there. There are so many talented writers, and I am still coming to grips with the fact that you amazing people are reading this story and actually like it! I love you guys. I love the reviews, even if you're reviewing because you're pissed off at the characters. Being able to stir emotion from you in my writing, good or bad, is good enough for me.

I really appreciate each and every one of you. You really keep me motivated to update this story in the first place. Thank you!

*~*~*~*

_The moral of the date rape story: It does not pay when you're drunk and horny. That's the way it had to be. They locked him up and threw away the key. Well, I can't take pity on men of his kind (even though he now takes it in the behind). –__**Brad Nowell, Sublime – Date Rape**_

*~*~*~*

**Edward**

I sat across from my completely deranged family in the living room.

The tension in the air was so thick it could have been sliced with a knife.

Bella was in the guest room behind a locked door, per my request. I put some feel-good music on, Sublime, to lessen the stress of the conversation she was about to hear. However, the upbeat guitar licks and harmonious voice of Bradly Nowell faded suspiciously quickly as I walked away from her room. It was as if Bella wanted to hear the conversation between my family taking place, and I immediately felt guilty for being so controlling toward her. I certainly didn't want to be _that_ kind of boyfriend.

I could still hear the faint sound of music as I began, making pointed glances at Carlisle and Esme as I spoke. "This is fucking bullshit."

"Edward Cullen, watch your mouth! Why must you curse so much to get your point across? All of us are very aware of your anger. No amount of 'F words' could make it more apparent. So just drop it, son." Carlisle spoke firmly.

I pointed at him angrily. "No!" I said, raising my voice. "I don't even want to be referred to as your son after the bull_shit_ you've pulled!" I made sure to emphasize the cuss word so that Carlisle knew he had no impact on my mouth and never would.

"What exactly _is_ your problem, Edward?" Esme asked in a menacingly calm voice. She nodded toward Jasper as she continued, "This is your brother. Despite certain situations he was involved in, he is still part of our family. You need to calm down and start showing everyone a little more respect."

I stood up and scoffed in Esme's face. "You are all fucking crazy! I don't know about before, but I sure as hell don't consider any of you my god damn family anymore!" I pointed at each of them as I yelled, feeling slightly guilty when I saw the look on Alice's face. She didn't deserve to be put down, but I would have done _anything_ to get through to my clinically insane parents.

I continued, raising my already loud voice. "Don't you see what you're doing? What the fuck is wrong with you people?! Letting a rapist in your house, the same house with the girl he raped?! And no one seems to see anything wrong with this! Everyone is just going through the motions, pretending everything is hunky dory, eating fucking dinner together! It makes me fucking _sick_!"

Alice ran out of the living room and slammed the door behind her upstairs. I was certain that she would likely be locked inside her room the rest of the night. She always locked herself away when she was upset.

"That was really unfair of you," Esme whispered with glistening eyes. She hid her face as she spoke through her sobs, "I don't know what we could have done better . . . if . . . to make everything okay . . . I . . ." Carlisle soothingly rubbed Esme's back to calm her down. She was breathing anxiously, but I felt as though she deserved it. If Esme felt that upset, how the fuck did she think Bella was feeling? Or even her other family members? Everything wasn't all about her.

I sneered and said, "Well guess the fuck what? Life's not fucking fair. Just ask Bella! I just wish you would have used the incredible thing inside your skull called your _brain_ before you got us all in this situation."

Esme sobbed into Carlisle's shoulder. I expected him to lash out at me, but his response surprised me. Carlisle sighed and began, "I know, son. I don't agree with the way you're reacting, but I know that we didn't make the best decision about this situation."

Jasper was sitting eerily quiet as all the drama unfolded.

I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a groan of frustration. My voice was calmer, but still had an edge to it. "That doesn't help things now, though. Just admitting you were wrong isn't going to fix everything. In fact, it won't fix _anything_." I lowered my voice to a faint whisper, even though Bella already knew about what I was about to refer to. "You were supposed to help Bella, Carlisle. Do you really think she will ever be able to trust you again after you let a major source of her distress just waltz around in the same house as her? I really thought you were _smarter_ than that."

Carlisle sighed again. "I'm afraid nobody's perfect, Edward."

I laughed humorlessly. "Yeah, I think I've figured that out. Thanks. Still doesn't help anything, though."

Everyone sat silently. Esme was still crying, but the tears were now falling silently down her cheeks.

I interrupted the silence, as usual. "So where do we go from here? I don't feel like we can progress in any way with Jasper living here, or even _being_ here." I turned to Jasper and said sarcastically, "No offense, _bro_."

I wasn't quite certain why, but I could not get a rise out of Jasper. He remained silent after my comment, and seemed almost . . . high? There was only one thing that could make someone so calm and euphoric without a care to anything around them, and I knew it very well. He was stealing my fucking pills. Of course, I couldn't address him about it in front of our parents, but I would definitely add it to my list of priorities (which was getting pretty large very quickly).

No one had time to say anything, because Jasper immediately mirrored my standing position and said groggily, "Well, why don't I just end all this drama right now by crashing with one of my bros? I'm sure someone will let me sleep on their couch or some shit." His groggy voice verified my suspicion that he'd been popping _my_ pills, and I was definitely not going to let him get away with it.

Jasper stretched and headed out the door before a very horrified Esme could even make a peep. I followed the bastard, ignoring my parents' muffled warnings. When the front door was shut and we were out of earshot, I hissed in Jasper's ear, "So how were my pills, motherfuckwad?"

Jasper quirked an eyebrow at me before asking lazily, "What?"

"Oh, fuck you! You took my lortabs, you fucker."

Jasper shrugged. "Maybe you shoulda hid 'em better."

I ground my teeth together. I wanted to fucking rip Jasper's throat out. He had the nerve to enter _my_ house where _my_ girlfriend that he _raped_ resided. Furthermore, he had the nerve to _take my pills_. I was motherfucking furious.

"I didn't really think I'd need to, because I was pretty certain I made it clear that you weren't welcome here." I said menacingly.

Jasper had the balls to literally laugh in my face. His eyes were in tiny slits, his head was tilted back, and his open smile revealed unnaturally white teeth. Laughing at me wasn't exactly a good idea on his part. Seeing Jasper's perfect teeth made me want to knock them out of his skull. I grabbed him by his grey jacket and threw him against my car.

Jasper's eyes grew wide as I tightened my grip on his scrawny body. "Woah, calm down. I'm sorry, man," Jasper said carefully.

I scoffed. "You are _not_ telling _me_ to calm down." I tightened my grip on his scrawny arms, making him wince. "If I ever see you here again, you won't be lucky enough to walk away like this." I shoved him away from the car.

Jasper looked like he was about to respond, but thought better of it. I thought I heard him mumble something as he walked swiftly down the driveway and out of my sight.

**A/N:** What the fuck is Bella thinking through all of this? We will see in 22, which I'm working on immediately.

Okay, I just want to talk about the pill thing for a moment. Pain medication is something I would not recommend to my worst enemy. I always liked the feeling I got on pain pills, but I ended up actually getting addicted to them. Although addiction is not part of this story, I obviously include pills every once in a while. I guess I do that with other things in my life, too, like the paranormal activity with Bella. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. I just don't want anybody to feel like I'm being insensitive to people who actually use pain medication medically or even recreationally. All I can say for certain is that the withdrawal from pain medication (I took roxys) is the worst hell in the whole fucking world. I'm glad to say I am not taking pills anymore and I have not taken them for quite a while. I don't know if this is too much information or if anyone is even reading this, I just feel like I have a pretty consistent group of readers and I'm comfortable about sharing the reasoning behind certain parts of this story. As always, thanks for reading, and reviews are appreciated! Love you ladies!


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N**: As always, I apologize for the delay in chapter updates. I don't think FFn has been working properly (surprise, surprise) as far as story update alerts, so hopefully it will alert you guys this time around. Also, my father has been having some medical issues, so that's been pretty rough on me and I haven't really had the motivation to write. But here it is, nonetheless. Thanks for all the support! You are all more wonderful than words could possibly describe.

**Bella**

The wind howled angrily outside, making the window to my guest room rattle uncontrollably. I almost feared the glass would shatter under the wind's strength, so I brought my attention elsewhere to soothe my worries.

I flipped through the channels on my TV until I reached _The Office_. Besides the fact that it was one of my favorite programs, I definitely needed a good laugh. Right when Jim and Pam were planning a ridiculous prank against Dwight, the power went out in the entire Cullen house.

The only light source in my room came from my white vanilla candle. It suddenly appeared to be much brighter in the absence of any other light, and I was incredibly thankful for the soft, flickering flame. If it weren't for the candle, I would have probably ended up tripping over my own belongings on my way to find Edward.

With my good arm, I carefully grabbed my candle and used it to make my way toward Edward's room. Besides the roaring wind, the house was incredibly silent. I figured everyone must have gone to bed fairly early. I crept up the staircase with extra care, making sure I didn't make a peep. The glow from the candle faintly lit the family portraits on the wall. The soft candlelight illuminated pictures of Edward, Alice, and Jasper as children. When I reached the middle of the staircase, I saw pictures of the entire family. The last portraits before the end of the stairs were school pictures of the kids. Everyone was beaming at the camera, trapped in that particular moment in time, smiling for the photographer.

An angelic female voice startled me when I reached the top of the staircase. "Bella?"

Alice stood outside her room with an unreadable expression. The flickering candlelight made her beautiful face even more stunning than usual. She peeked up at me through her long, thick eyelashes and said, "So . . . the power's out. Wanna come keep me company?"

I bit my lip, struggling to make a quick decision. Even though she'd tortured me with girly products in the past, I really liked Alice. However, I really wanted to see Edward, and I wasn't sure how long Alice was going to hold me captive.

I figured a few minutes (or even hours, if I were to think dramatically) with Alice wouldn't hurt. I would visit Edward right after. "Sure," I replied brightly with a small smile.

Alice grinned back at me. She took the candle from me so she could link her elbow through my arm and guide me in her room.

There were already dozens of glowing candles illuminating Alice's humongous girly nest. The walls were painted hot pink and contained framed pictures of various models from magazine ads. A vintage white vanity sat to the left of her king size bed. Her makeup was organized in plastic drawers underneath the vanity, and her countless makeup brushes sat in pencil cups next to the vanity's mirror.

I was drawn to a beautiful painting of a lion nuzzled next to a lamb. A small signature at the bottom of the painting read, "Alec – 2008." I pointed toward the painting and said, "Wow, that's incredible. Where did you get that?"

Alice's voice was distant as she softly replied, "It was given to me by . . . someone who's no longer with us."

I didn't press her for more details because her eyes welled up with tears before she forced them back. I felt incredibly guilty for bringing it up, and I mentally kicked myself for unintentionally making her upset.

Alice regained her composure and said sweetly, "I know you and I don't talk too often, and I really wanted to ask you how you've been doing."

I felt tears of my own threaten to escape my eyes. I'd never been good at lying, and when someone asked me how I was doing when I wasn't doing so well; tears would _always_ come. Forcing my eyes shut and swallowing the knot in my throat, I fought my tears away and replied, "I'm hanging in there."

Alice quirked an eyebrow at me. "You are?" she asked softly.

I sighed. "I guess I am. It's just . . . I feel really guilty about this whole thing. I'm living in your house, and now your brother is gone just because of me. I really just feel like a huge fucking nuisance."

Alice grabbed my good hand and whispered soothingly, "Bella, you are anything but a nuisance. You are such a wonderful girl, and all of us are glad to have you stay here. To be honest, it's probably the best for everyone that Jasper left today. Having him here reopened old wounds for all of us, and it caused unnecessary drama. I love my brother, but what he did to you was unredeemable. You deserve a positive environment where you don't have to be literally haunted by your past." Alice squeezed my hand before she let go.

I quickly mumbled, "Thanks, Alice." To me, the tension in the air seemed incredibly awkward, but it was obvious that Alice didn't think the same. She embraced me in a humongous bear hug and kept me there for a while before finally releasing me. It felt warm and inviting. In that moment, I felt close to Alice in numerous ways. I was incredibly grateful for her kindness and embrace.

The wind roared outside her pink curtain-clad window. Alice giggled and said, "No wonder the power's out. I bet that crappy wind has something to do with it." She smirked and continued, "Hey, Edward knows how to reset the power box. Why don't you go ask him to do that? I'd be totally grateful to get _Vampire Diaries_ back on my TV . . ." She laughed and nudged me toward her room door.

I sighed playfully. "If you insist," I said begrudgingly. I took my vanilla candle to guide me through the darkness.

With a genuine smile toward Alice, I exited her pink-clad nest and tiptoed to Edward's room. The door was wide open as if it were expecting me, as if _Edward_ was expecting me.

Edward was lying on his bed in the darkness, staring at the ceiling. He didn't even look up to acknowledge my presence. I set the candle down on his dresser and softly cleared my throat.

Without looking at me, Edward whispered, "Please close the door."

I furrowed my brow and softly shut the door behind me. Edward must have been in a mood that was certainly unpleasant, and I began to second-guess my presence. The angry wind rattled Edward's window, and I was suddenly glad for the company— even if the company was currently unpleasant.

With a deep breath, I took a seat at the foot of Edward's bed. It felt so silly to be nervous around my very own boyfriend, but I was _definitely_ uneasy.

Before I could say anything, Edward spoke.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry?" I asked, baffled as to why he had any possible reason to apologize to me. After all, Edward stood up for me immensely. I heard him yelling at his family that afternoon, and it was all because of me and his concern for my wellbeing.

Edward sat up to face me. He looked incredibly troubled, and it made me worry.

"Bella," he said softly. "I should not have made you stay in the guest room like some God-forsaken prisoner today. You had every right to be in the living room with us, being part of the discussion. I feel terrible for being so controlling. Please forgive me." He gently stroked my cheek as he spoke, making my heart flutter.

I couldn't contain my laughter. Why on Earth did he feel the need to apologize about something that wasn't a big deal whatsoever? When I regained composure, I whispered, "Edward, you have absolutely no reason to apologize." I paused and scoffed, still baffled at the situation. "I mean, I don't even know why we're even discussing this."

Edward turned my face toward his and firmly pressed his lips against my own. He kissed me roughly and eagerly as I granted his tongue access inside my mouth. My heart pounded in my chest as we kissed and he pulled himself closer to me.

Edward delicately placed me on my back while kissing me all over. He was on top of me kissing and sucking on my neck. My eyes rolled to the back of my head with pleasure and my mouth emitted a soft but long moan. "Edward," I egged him on, "Please keep going."

Before I knew it, Edward had successfully removed my bra and threw it on the floor among his worn clothing.

I didn't know exactly why, but I began to feel like we were finally going to do it. Everything felt so perfect, from the soft glow of the candlelight to the way our bodies were in tune to one another. I was nervous but so excited to do that beautiful, sacred thing that people that loved each other did. Because . . .

Because I _loved_ Edward Cullen.

**Edward**

Bella was underneath me breathing heavily and moaning at my every touch. Seeing her turned on turned me on even more, and it was incredibly hard to contain myself.

When things were getting extra steamy, there was a loud knock at my room door.

"Fuck!" I grumbled. A very petrified Bella grabbed her braless chest and looked at me expectantly.

"Just a minute!" I called to the uninvited guest. With a sigh, I located Bella's bra on my floor and handed it to her.

Bella immediately grabbed her black bra and took off her shirt in order to put her undergarment back on. My eyes widened at the sight of her topless chest. Bella's tits were incredibly perky and absolutely gorgeous. Her small, pale, peachy nipples were erect. Before I could stare any longer, Bella trapped her beautiful breasts in the damn black bra. I silently resented giving her the bra back because a rack like that should _not_ be trapped inside a bra of any sort. Ever.

Bella pulled her lacy white shirt over her head, smoothed her hair, and nodded toward the door for me to open it.

Alice stood in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest. Her bottom lip stuck out in an exaggerated pout.

"Bella was supposed to tell you to reset the power so I can watch the rest of _Vampire Diaries_," Alice said in mock-anger.

Yep, that what my sister. Alice Cullen: Queen of Cockblock.

"Okay, but I need a flashlight," I said reluctantly. All I really wanted to do was Bella, but there was no way I could continue with Alice in the back of my mind, talking about fucking _Vampire_ _Diaries_.

Alice bounced out of the room and returned with a smirk on her face and a flashlight in her hand.

"Um, sorry to interrupt . . . whatever you guys were doing," Alice said breezily as the three of us crept down the stairs.

I rolled my eyes, but didn't make my usual smartass response. I felt too guilty for the way I treated her earlier.

It was brighter outside than in was in our powerless house. The wind was so strong that it made the trees bend and creak. Bella's hair was all over the place in the shitty weather, and it was pretty damn cute to see her attempt to contain it.

The moon and the stars lit up the sky. It wasn't raining, but everything was damp from previous showers. Alice hummed the latest Lady Gaga song as I fucked with the power box at the side of the house.

It took me a moment to remember what the fuck I was doing.

"We're wait-ing," Alice sang while she folded her arms across her chest.

When I glaced at Bella, she had given up containing her hair and shoved her hoodie over her head.

Alice continued, "Come on Edward, it's so windy and gross!"

I sighed and switched the power buttons over to reset them all, hoping I was pressing the right ones.

A bright light illuminated the three of us, and we all turned to see who it was.

Emmett and Rosalie walked toward us with an oversized flashlight. Emmett spoke first, "Looks like the power's out for both of us. I already reset our power box, but nothing happened. The best part is that the power company isn't open until eight in the morning, so I hope you guys have board games or some shit."

Rosalie laughed. "Board games? The only game I'm playing tonight is sex."

Emmett slapped her ass, and I caught a quick glimpse of a thoroughly repulsed Bella.

I spoke loudly over the wind, "Well, I guess this is a lost cause, then." I slammed the power box shut and shrugged. "Oh well."

Alice looked like she might actually cry. Right, she'd be missing her precious lame-ass TV show.

We all stood in silence as the wind attempted to blow us away.

"I can't really stand it anymore," Alice said. She turned to our neighbors and said, "It was lovely to see you two." With that, she was already headed inside our house.

"I think I'm going to head inside too," I said, grabbing Bella's delicate hand. "Hopefully the power will miraculously turn back on by itself."

Emmett laughed merrily. "Yeah, that probably won't happen, man. Well, you two take care of yourselves. See ya around."

Emmett and Rosalie headed back toward their house. I turned to Bella with an apologetic smile. "Sorry," I mouthed.

The sound of sirens distracted me from the awkward, windy mess and the familiar blue and red lights illuminated the front of the house. A cop car screeched to a stop right in front of me, and a scrawny red-headed cop emerged from the vehicle.

"This the Cullen residence?" asked the cop lazily.

"It is," I said cautiously, wondering what the cop could possibly want.

The cop continued, "Are you aware of a Jasper Cullen?"

My breath literally stopped, and I had to force myself to continue breathing. What the fuck did Jasper do _now_?

"He's my brother. What happened?" I asked warily.

The cop took off his hat and said indifferently, "I'm afraid I have some bad news about your brother. Jasper Cullen died tonight."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N**: Wow guys, I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for being so incredibly late in getting this chapter posted. I hope none of you have completely given up on me and I also hope you're all doing well. As a reward for your patience, I would like to show you guys my inspiration behind the Cullen's cat, Zorro. There's a real life inspiration named Vendetta, "V" for short, and he's my kitty! I've already provided the picture's link in my FFn profile, so go ahead and check it out if you'd like. It's a picture I took of him on my boyfriend's iPhone last Christmas.

I do have some news for you! I am currently working on a new Twilight Fanfic. I am not sure when I'm going to start posting it on here. I'm afraid of abandoning _Fading Away_, and I want to give each of my ideas love and completion. It will probably be up soon though. And I will slowly become addicted to the internet and never see the light of day until all my stories are posted on FFn . . . muahahahahah!

Also, I'd like to remind everyone that I do not have a beta and I have not had one for any previous chapters, so I apologize for the errors. I am far from perfect, but I certainly try my best.

Without further ado, I finally bring you chapter 23! Thanks for reading!

**Edward**

I had always despised funerals. I hated how you could fucking smell the embalming fluid when there was an open casket service. I hated the overwhelming sadness, no matter how much the speakers attempted to keep it positive and remember the good times. I hated hearing the other guests cry. I hated the awkward conversations with distant relatives and family friends after the service. The whole experience was absolutely excruciating.

Melancholy tunes from the pipe organ reverberated throughout the humongous church. An immense number of flowers overpowered the room with their color and aroma. Everything about the church was so dark: the mahogany wooden chairs, the marble floors; even the stained glass windows were dark since it was nighttime and the sun wasn't there to bring them to life. The bright flowers contrasted with the church so bad that I had to force myself to look away from them.

Jasper's casket at the front of the room was a shiny midnight black. I focused on Jasper and his stillness. It was ironic, the fact that I couldn't look at flowers but I had no problem staring at my dead brother. He really didn't look very much like Jasper at all, probably because of the accident. Hell, I was surprised the mortician was able to make Jasper look halfway presentable after he was maimed. In my opinion, it would have been a hell of a lot easier to leave Jasper all bloody and gross and just have a closed casket service.

I suppose I was still in a state of shock. It was probably the most fucked up situation imaginable— having a sibling in jail for years only to discover the girl of my dreams was the same girl he raped. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at Jasper's death. I didn't really know anything anymore, so I constantly braced myself for the unexpected.

Esme could barely contain her composure next to me. Her entire body undulated in uncontainable sobs, which made a few guests peek over their shoulders to find the source of the commotion. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, doing my best to make sure she knew I was there for her.

Alice sobbed softly and gracefully, staining her porcelain skin with tears. I began to wonder if my sister could ever _not_ be graceful. I knew she was hurting immensely, yet she looked like an angel weeping for an unfortunate mortal soul.

Carlisle paced to the front of the church and subtly glanced toward his deceased son's body. I couldn't help but feel terrible for him, no matter how many bad decisions he'd been making in our home situation. Carlisle had it the worst in my opinion. He was the rock that we all counted on for strength. He had to keep a strong demeanor for all of us, but his true pain was evident in his eyes. He stroked the side of Jasper's casket reverently and only stopped because the pastor took a stand at the wooden podium.

The pastor, who was a middle-aged overweight man, began with a story from the Bible. My attention was suddenly averted to the entrance behind me as the oversized door slowly creaked open and revealed the most unexpected guest imaginable.

**Bella**

I paced outside of the humongous grey church, debating on whether or not I should enter. I could hear the eerie music fade away and someone beginning to speak, so I knew I was already too late.

I took a deep breath and summoned up all the courage my tiny body could muster. Edward needed me, and that was reason enough for me to attend the funeral of my rapist. Besides, forgiveness was supposedly a virtue.

The enormous church door creaked when I opened it, which made almost every single guest turn their heads to stare at me. They reminded me of owls by the way their necks twisted around to gape at me. I felt my face grow entirely red as I hurried to sit down next to a very shocked Edward.

There was a pastor slowly speaking about something I wasn't really paying attention to. It wasn't like I wasn't trying to pay attention, it was just that every word that exited his mouth left as English and entered my ears as Chinese. It didn't help that Esme was practically falling apart in her seat, muffling her sobs on Carlisle's shoulder. My heart ached just by looking at her. I wondered what it would be like to have a mother that cared about the life of her child.

The casket bearing Jasper might as well have been flashing a neon sign that read, "Look at me! I'm dead!" because I couldn't keep my eyes away from it. He looked incredibly innocent in the casket. It was as if his spirit was evil part about him, and his body was merely an unfortunate shell that was forced to contain the malevolent soul.

I was forced to look away when Edward whispered something intangible to me.

"What?" I murmured back.

"I said it was incredibly kind of you to come," he said gently. He delicately stroked my good arm as we focused our attention on the pastor.

There were muffled sobs all throughout the massive church, but Esme's sniveling topped them all. She was crying on Carlisle's shoulder as he soothingly rubbed her back. I couldn't even begin to imagine what they were going through, losing a child to prison and now forever.

Alice glanced at me with tear-filled eyes and offered me a small smile as a thanks for coming, but she looked away before I could return the favor.

As quickly as he'd begun, the pastor had completed his speech. The guests were urged to go up to the podium and remember Jasper by talking about his life.

Alice held her head high and walked up the aisle to the podium. She looked flawless even without makeup and after crying for an immense amount of time. All eyes were on Alice as she pointed the microphone toward her and begun.

"Hello everyone. I know that we're supposed to come up here and state happy memories, but there's just no sense in beating around the bush. There's a huge elephant in the room, and it needs to be addressed. I know that Jasper wasn't a saint, and all of you know that too." Alice paused to regain composure, but she continued immediately. "Everyone deserves forgiveness, and I'm certain that some of you wouldn't even be here if that weren't a fact." Of course, Alice gave me a pointed look at that statement, and I felt my face grow flaming red once again. Edward reassuringly squeezed my hand, sensing my discomfort.

Alice sighed and continued with a shaky voice, "I love Jasper, and I will miss him with all my heart. I hope we can all keep him alive in our minds and in our hearts. Thank you." She left the podium quickly and gracefully before sitting back down next to us.

A middle-aged man approached the podium next, which Edward identified as their uncle Aro. He had a soothing, friendly voice that was haunting in an inexplicable way.

Aro smiled warmly before he started speaking. "I have so many wonderful memories of my nephew, I don't even know where to begin."

I zoned out for the rest of Aro's speech, and the memorial service was over in a heartbeat. Edward let me sit in the BMW while the guests gathered together and chatted about nonsense to make themselves comfortable. He kissed my forehead and said, "I'll bring you a plate of food if they have anything good."

I smiled at Edward before he closed the door of the BMW with me inside. I didn't bother to tell him that even the thought of food made me nauseous. It wasn't just because it was Jasper's funeral. I never thought food was appetizing at _any_ funeral. All I could think about was death, and I couldn't imagine even having a miniscule bite of food when _that_ was on my mind.

* * * *

When all of us returned home, the house was eerily silent. Esme's eyes were still red from crying so hard. She made herself a cup of tea and sat alone at the kitchen table, lost in thought. I wanted to sit next to her and offer her my comfort, but I knew it wasn't the time. There are never any comforting words to say to someone who loses a loved one to death. It's like a deep wound— it's a bloody mess at first, but it gets better with time. There will always be a scar from that wound as a reminder of the pain.

The familiar patter of rain against the rooftop interrupted the silence. Alice turned on the TV in the living room, so the house began to come a little more alive. Edward motioned for me to follow him upstairs to his room.

Edward's room was beginning to become our sanctuary. We didn't let anyone or anything bother us when we were there. It was the closet thing to comfort I'd ever had, and I loved it.

We lied on Edward's king size bed, staring at the ceiling.

In a nearly inaudible whisper, Edward mouthed, "Thank you."

The thank you was unnecessary. I was there for him in his time of need, and I always would be. I knew he was there for me as well. Whenever one of us had a hole in our heart, the other was there to fill it with comfort.

Without warning, Edward's entire body erupted in unmanageable sobs. I'd never seen him cry before, and I felt my heart slowly fall apart at the sight. His perfect face contorted in pain as his body rose and fell in sadness.

I pulled Edward to me, holding his broken body as close as I could. I wished I could get even closer, to just melt into him and take away his pain. I stroked his hair and held him close as he let his tears fall against my skin. Even though I knew I was broken, I felt so strong as I was holding Edward in his time of need.

We stayed in the same position even when Edward's sobs subsided.

It was insane to think about all the shit we'd endured in such a short amount of time.

There was definitely one thing I was certain about in such an uncertain world: If we could get through this, we could get through _anything_.

**A/N:** If there's anybody still out there, please review! I promise I will get the next chapter up a lot faster if you just click below and tell me your thoughts! :) It only takes a minute and it makes me smile.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: **Hello lovelies! Thank you so much for being so wonderful, patient, and loyal. I couldn't ask for better readers. All of you mean so much to me, you truly do.

This is my first two-part chapter. I hope you enjoy!

**Edward**

I glowered at the pale white walls in the tiny room. The room was so fucking small that I was beginning to feel claustrophobic. I drummed my fingertips against the wooden table in front of me, wishing I could be home with my Bella.

Bella had sacrificed so much of her sanity to show up at Jasper's funeral. I knew she was there to support me, which made my heart twist and burn inside my chest. I never wanted Bella to suffer at all, let alone for _my_ sake.

With a humongous sigh, I glanced at the oversized clock on the wall. It was nine twenty in the morning and way too fucking early to be dealing with this bullshit. I showed up at nine per their request, and I didn't see any reason for me to be there when all I was doing was waiting alone in a room fit for a fucking mouse.

Right before I lost my patience entirely, the door creaked open and revealed a middle-aged man with a mustache. He was holding a mug of coffee that read "Forks Police Department" with a picture of a badge underneath. My wandering eyes suddenly stopped, transfixed on his embroidered nametag.

Of fucking _course_.

_Of course_ Chief Swan would be the one questioning me about my brother's death. My blood began to boil as my heart accelerated. _Fuck_ living in a small-ass fucking _shit town_.

The smell of the chief's coffee reached my nostrils and made me want to vomit. I doubted I'd ever be able to drink coffee again. My hatred swelled inside me like a balloon, ready to explode at any moment. It hurt even more to force myself to contain it. After all, killing the chief of police would get me nowhere but in prison. And if I were to go to prison, I would not have Bella.

I felt my breath accelerate as Chief Childfucker began to speak to me. He asked me where I was the night Jasper was killed, and I didn't cease to notice the subtle evil eye he gave me at the end of his question.

I mirrored his glare and responded lightly, "Well, Chief, I was with my girlfriend the night Jasper passed on. You see, the power had gone out in our house, and we just had to find ways to entertain ourselves. Say, Chief, you should know something about entertainment."

Charlie quirked an eyebrow at me and asked gruffly, "Excuse me, son?"

"I mean, the way you tried to entertain your adoptive daughter was actually against the law. You adopted Isabella Swan and tried to use her as a fuck toy. Well guess what, Chief? You're going to be _figuratively_ fucked for that. Then when you're finally in jail, I hope you're _literally _fucked a million times in your evil fucking butthole." I quirked my own eyebrow at him, egging him on.

Charlie's face turned an array of incredibly unnatural colors. Pink to red, red to blue, and blue to purple. Finally, he screamed, "Who . . . who do you think you are? What the hell are you talking about?!"

I laughed humorlessly and ignored his questions. Instead, I began, "You know, you're really terrible at hiding your emotions. You're a fucking pedophile, and you know it. You _will _pay for what you did. Don't ever think otherwise, childfucker."

I didn't even attempt to view his reaction before I left the station.

**Bella**

As soon as Edward texted me that he was on his way home, all of us breathed massive sighs of relief. Alice, Esme, and I began to cook brunch while Carlisle sipped his coffee and watched the news.

Brunch was complete and the dining room table was set before Edward returned home. I greeted him with an enthusiastic kiss, which he ended abruptly. When I looked at him skeptically, he kissed my forehead and hurried upstairs to change.

When everyone had gathered at the table to eat, Edward was still acting strange. He had a distant look in his eyes, and he only answered questions with a "Yes," "No," or "I don't know." To say I was worried was an understatement. Something must have happened at the station to alter Edward's mood so immensely.

I distracted myself with eating the food on my plate so I wouldn't go entirely crazy with worry, but it wasn't easy. I ended up with almost as much food on my plate as I started with. Esme and Alice both glanced at me with concern when I excused myself and scraped the full plate of food in the trash. It was blasphemous, especially with all the starving kids around the world. I just couldn't bring myself to care when I was so worried about Edward.

It seemed like I was sulking for hours in the guest room before Edward came inside. We were allowed to be in the same room together as long as the door was wide open, so things got a little tricky in the daytime when we actually followed that rule.

I didn't even hear him approach the door, so my heart raced inside my chest when Edward stood against the door frame. For some unfathomable reason, he was smirking at me. It made my heart flutter even more as butterflies tickled my stomach.

"Hey," Edward said casually as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Hey," I replied, hoping he didn't hear the slight crack in my voice.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked, gesturing toward the chair next to my bed.

"Of course I don't. You know that." I said, speaking more steadily with effort.

Edward walked gracefully toward the chair, but surprised me as he sat right next to me on the bed.

Before I could ask about what was up with the police station and his weird mood at brunch, Edward crushed his lips against mine. I didn't even care about the questioning as he kissed me. All I could think about was him, and how wet and steamy the make out session was getting. My eyes glanced anxiously at the open door, and I felt his lips smile against mine as he realized what I was worrying about.

"Don't worry, love," he said. My heart fluttered at the last word. "We'll continue this later."

Edward was right.

When his family was finally asleep, he jumped at the chance to return to my room.

Edward embraced me at the door to the guest room and gently kissed my forehead.

I didn't have any luck getting him to talk the entire day. He told me not to worry and that he'd explain later, but it left me even more anxious than I already was.

Edward leaned in to kiss my lips, but I pulled away.

"Wait," I said breathlessly. "I think you owe me an explanation."

"I'll explain later," he whispered. "I promise I will."

Before I could protest, Edward's persistent lips crushed against my own, and I couldn't remember what I wanted him to explain. I couldn't even remember my own name.

Edward silently shut the door behind us and guided me to the bed. I wished I didn't have the humongous cast on my arm. It made it hard to be graceful in the slightest bit.

When we made it to the bed, we were both panting in between urgent kisses. I was straddling him, and I could feel his entire length against me. It felt so amazing, and my entire being willed him to be inside me.

Edward could tell that I felt his erection. He grinned and whispered, "Your parents must have had a chicken farm, because you sure know how to raise a cock!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

Edward's lips pressed against mine, interrupting my laughter. I eagerly kissed him back. I couldn't believe my mood shifted from worried to utterly ecstatic in a matter of seconds.

Edward Cullen could do absolutely anything to me.

He was my strength and my weakness, and most importantly, he was my world.

I pushed myself closer to him and was fairly positive the world stopped spinning that second.

**A/N**: Part two will be up as soon as humanly possible. The chicken farm joke was for **Jazzieee**. She is so awesome, and I told her I'd add a joke in this chapter for her!


	25. Chapter 24 Part 2

**A/N: **Well, well, well . . . look what the cat dragged back in. I know it's been more than a while and I hope someone's still out there that hasn't given up on me! I would have updated sooner, but life has been stressful to say the least . . . and I don't think this story would benefit from an inebriated author! I'm sure no one that cares about an update wants to listen to me ramble anymore, so I do hope it was worth the wait. Before I shut up, though, please be warned that this chapter is extra, extra lemony. So, please don't read it if you're not into that stuff. Other than that: enjoy, my pretties!

**Edward**

It was so incredibly easy to get carried away when Bella and I were alone— I had to force myself to keep it somewhat regulated. Even though I didn't deserve it, Bella wanted me in every way. I owed it to her to be certain she wanted sex for the right reasons. It wasn't right to bang someone so emotionally fragile just because I was a horny-ass teenager.

The fucked up part about getting intimate was I would always have shitty worries, if not consciously, they were always at least in the back of my mind. Worries like, _What if I put my dick in Bella and it gave her a flashback of Jasper raping her_? I didn't want sex with Bella to be associated with rape; I wanted it to be associated with love. There _had_ to be a way to approach it just right.

As always, it was possible that I was worrying fruitlessly.

The one thing that kept me going was the fact that the both of us could definitely use a good lay after all the shit we'd been through.

I must have forgotten how observant she was of her surroundings, because Bella immediately noticed my mental battle.

"What's wrong?" she whispered anxiously. "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head. "Of course you didn't. I'm really just worried about this. Are you sure you're ready? Because if you're not, we really don't have to go through with anything."

Bella sighed and glanced toward the floor, looking for a distraction. She was clearly uncomfortable. "Leave it to me to ruin a perfect moment," she sighed.

I quirked an eyebrow at her. "What are you talking about? You haven't ruined anything."

Her tone was sour as she replied, "Yeah? Well, I have a feeling most girls can just fuck their boyfriends without having any problems. I feel incredibly breakable or something. It sucks."

I laughed humorlessly. "Do you really think every couple has a perfect sex life?"

Bella shrugged as her cheeks turned a beautiful shade of scarlet.

I gently pulled her chin toward me. I continued, "Bella, that's actually really far from the case. Nobody is perfect, and sex is different with every couple. I know you don't believe it, but I would and _will_ wait forever for you to be ready, if that's what you need. We have all the time in the world."

Bella looked up at me with painfully beautiful eyes. She whispered, "I want to try."

"To be perfect in bed?" I asked dubiously.

She shook her head. "No, I want to try . . . to make love to you. I need you. I need this."

I kissed her softly in response, not pushing it too far. The truth was that she really _was_ breakable, and she had the cast to prove it. I was more than willing to be gentle, but I've never had to be gentle with any girl in the past and was worried that I'd get caught up in the moment. It was easy to not think with your _human_ head when you were fucking a girl.

My dick was so hard that it hurt, more than eager that it would finally be able to feel Bella.

I grounded myself in the moment, pushing my mind away from my burning desire to fuck and focusing on making it special for Bella. It wasn't supposed to be about me. Everything was about her, and I liked it that way.

Bella moaned as I kissed and nibbled on her neck while I rubbed her nipples outside her shirt. She was already shaking with pleasure, and it took all my willpower to not just shove my cock inside her right then and there.

_Calm the fuck down_, I growled at my dick internally. He was more than pushing my limits, he was taking over my mind.

I continued kissing and biting Bella's neck and I slowly traced the soft skin on her stomach until I reached her panties. I hesitated right above her crotch and looked at her expectantly. She pushed her entire body up so that my hand was exploring her soaking pussy through her panties. I gently traced it until I found her clit, where I made small circular movements with my thumb. I started slowly and gently, then began to play with it faster and harder.

Bella moaned so loud that it would be a miracle if no one awoke from it. In a quick and sudden movement, she slipped her panties off and pushed my hand back to her bare crotch.

Bella gasped as I lowered myself to her holy land and started licking and sucking her clit. Her legs were shaking with pleasure, so I took it up a notch and slowly entered my ring finger inside her while I continued licking her. I peeked up at her to make sure it was okay, and was pleased to see her eyes roll to the back of her head as she forcefully grabbed my hair.

After a minute of leg-shaking pleasure, Bella whispered breathlessly, "Please fuck me Edward."

My cock was extra pleased to hear those magic words. I pulled my boxers off quickly and lied on top of Bella, my dick twitching right outside her entrance.

"Ready?" I whispered, not as hesitant as I was earlier but still wary.

Bella nodded and shut her eyes, as though she was bracing for the unexpected.

She didn't tense up this time.

I eased inside her slowly, ready to pull out whenever she looked uncomfortable or told me to stop. But instead of wincing, she slowly opened her eyes and fucking _grinned_.

I pushed myself in and out of her slowly, breathing heavily and trying not to be a minute man. I really did feel like I was about to splooge right away because it was better than my dick had ever felt, but I forced myself to think about dead puppies to extend my performance time.

Bella softly moaned and grabbed my back, digging her nails in my skin. I gradually quickened my pace until it was steady and both of us were panting.

Suddenly, being inside her was just too fucking sexy for my dick, and it betrayed me. I came harder than I ever came in my life. Seriously, that shit felt like gallons.

For once, I was the one blushing.

Instead of being disgusted with me like she should have been, Bella kissed my lips sweetly and wiped my damp forehead with the back of her palm.

After catching my breath in awkward silence for a few minutes, I was able to mumble, "Sorry."

Bella rolled her eyes at me and hissed, "Oh, please!" I was more than embarrassed until she continued with lust-filled eyes, "Wanna go again?"

Of course, she didn't have to ask.

**A/N**: Yay! They finally did it! Am I officially a smut peddler?


	26. Chapter 25

**A/N**: Hello, lovelies! I actually have a legitimate excuse for being so late this time! Shocking, I know. My internet has failed me, so I have not been able to update whatsoever. As always, I apologize.

I know I've mentioned it before, but I just wanted to remind you guys that I'm working on another Twilight fanfic. In fact, with all this spare time, I am working on TWO new Twilight fanfics. I'm actually really proud of both of them, and will have both of them up as soon as I beta them myself.

This chapter is very, very short.

For those that are still reading and still haven't given up on me, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really love you all.

**Bella**

I was abruptly awoken to the morning sunlight shining through the guestroom window onto my face. I blinked away the sleepiness that always plagued me in the morning and stretched my sore limbs. The night before felt like a blissful dream. I was able to make love to Edward without any physical or psychological consequences, and I actually felt what was probably normal for anyone else that had amazing sex all night.

Begrudgingly, I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. After catching a quick glimpse of not-so-sexy sex hair and faint circles underneath my eyes, I decided to take a long-overdue shower.

I didn't even realize how much I was doddling under the refreshing hot water until it grew painfully cold. It would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that conditioner was still in my hair and soap suds were practically devouring me. I shut my eyes to prepare for the icy nightmare. I scrubbed the conditioner out of my hair as quickly as possible and squealed as I rinsed the soap suds off my body.

Shivering and dripping wet, I retreated from the nightmare shower. It took me a while to feel back to somewhat normal.

After brushing my teeth and getting dressed, I headed to the kitchen. Carlisle and Esme left a note on the dry erase board that they were out and would not return until late afternoon. It was only 7:00 A.M. on Saturday morning, so I was not surprised that both Edward and Alice were still asleep— leaving me alone in the kitchen.

I poured fresh water into Esme's tea kettle and set it on the stovetop. While I waited for the water to boil, I glanced out the large kitchen window. The forest outside was stunning. The morning light seeped through the trees and lit up the wildflowers below. The silent house allowed me to hear birds singing and even the flowing water from the nearby creek.

I mentally scolded myself for being so sentimental about my surroundings. I figured it was probably just prolonged afterglow from the night before.

When my tea was ready, I slipped silently outside to relax on the porch. I was surprised to see a head of messy bronze hair already in one of the oversized chairs. He turned his head to face me and grinned.

"Having a spot of tea, me love?" Edward asked in a terrible attempt at an English accent.

I mirrored his smile and nodded.

"You woke up early too," I observed.

"No," Edward replied. "I've actually been up all night."

I raised my eyebrows. "Impressive," I mused, playfully nudging him with my elbow before taking a seat next to him.

I sipped Esme's expensive Earl Grey and savored the flavors on my tongue before swallowing it. Edward watched me with incredible curiosity. Though he'd been up the entire night, he didn't appear to be very tired. His hair was messier that usual, which wasn't saying too much since it was always a disaster.

We sat in silence, quietly enjoying the morning sunlight before the impending clouds blocked it and made everything annoyingly dark and damp.

"Where did your parents go?" I asked, breaking the peaceful silence.

Edward ran his hands through his hair, clearly uncomfortable with my question. "They're out looking for an attorney," he said softly.

"For?" I asked, getting frustrated.

"They're just looking at prices, really. It's nothing definitive, nothing to worry about."

I felt my jaw drop. "Is that so?" I asked calmly. "I mean, I'm really glad that no one took the initiative to tell me about this, since it is so obviously about me."

Edward sighed and reached for my hand futilely. "Bella," he said softly, hypnotizing me with his voice and his touch. "Please don't think anyone has been being intentionally deceitful towards you. All of us want what's best for you, and you know what's best is to have that motherfuckwad Charlie in prison for the rest of his pathetic life. My parents are trying to take the first step to ensure that happens, to ensure your absolute safety. Please don't get angry about it. Please." Edward's eyes were puppy-like and almost hypnotic, so much so that there was no way for me to be angry at him or his family for searching for an attorney behind my back.

Before I could respond, Edward showered me with kisses in the faint morning sunlight. As his lips eagerly tasted mine, I could tell he knew he was already forgiven.


End file.
